Not You, it’s You and Not Me, it’s Me. It’s Us.
This may not make sense to anyone but me. I have come a far distance and it feels good and feels right. Time does make a difference. Healing within and understanding of oneself is liberating. Is my life perfect and have it all together? Not a chance.
It is knowing I am not where I once was and I am still evolving.
One day, which is the next step, I will see my former therapist of four years. Her leaving due to medical reasons and not formally telling me, I was at a loss, her office sign is down and is no more, in 2018. My world was rocked off its axis.
Dealing with abandonment prior to her leave, then experiencing full-blown abandonment, as a true, full-blown assignment, my heart was broken. Anger ripped my insides up while tears flowed on the outside. The question I repeatedly said, was one word, WHY?
Of course, it was medical but why not personally touch base. This ‘why’ screamed within me for years.
It has since silenced. It’s not that important anymore. How is that? I still don’t know the why. There’s a peace and I like it.
Time does in fact heal. Forgiveness of the other but also of oneself is freedom, no matter what situation.
All the negative feelings and thoughts have subsided and it is kind of shocking. How will I react when we do meet while shopping or in public I often wonder.
It would be nice to see her and hug her. I’m forever thankful for our times together years ago but I want this to be a coming together somehow on the same ground level as friends. Not her as my therapist or me as her client. That is no more. It’s Us. Funny, I think she would understand this of me, as she was good like that.
That’s the next step, our running into each other. I would like that.