Move!

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If you are not happy where you are, move!  You are not a tree. This quote is quite powerful, I thought.

I actually said this to someone the other night.

Maybe you feel stuck in a rut, as we sometimes get. I know I have. We all deal with circumstances that are unlike the next person so this covers many areas in our lives from our weight (start exercising), spiritual (read your Bible, worship, pray), health (eat better, drink water), employment, relationships, etc. The list can go on and on. This is just self-care and needed, it’s not selfish to take care of YOU.

Just start making small changes to help you be better and a happier person. It’s OK!

When you look at it, as in the tree, we are able to move and make changes so there is HOPE!

 

And I will always guide you and satisfy you with good things. I will keep you strong and well. You will be like a garden that has plenty of water, like a spring of water that never goes dry.” Isaiah 58:11 (GNT)

God Winks

B2EA2A90-D200-4A8E-A23C-07AA7ED8872BIn all of these years, I had never heard the term, God Winks. Why is that? I have had many, to think of, just the Favor of God. Basically the same. I have and no doubt you have had situations come about that only God could orchestrate and faith would be increased with joy in your heart to experience.

This past week, I was telling my present counselor about my week and this one situation. While I was thrilled, he was quite ecstatic because he promptly said that was no coincidence, that was a God Wink. I totally agreed.

1DDC170A-AB01-468C-8496-763D21B1BDE6The more I gave thought to it, I was just thankful to God all this time, but then realized how he was so right, it was no coincidence. Thankfully, I just tend to have stuff like this happen in my life and think how cool is that but also thankful and happy. It is so God. He is showing me that He knows exactly where I am. How cool is that?!?

Last Sunday morning was running a little different and out of routine, as my son was in for the weekend but leaving to go back to his place. I was getting ready for church but was getting off kilter, as he is never rushed. I managed and we still enjoyed our time talking. Knowing my church service was the late one, I still had time. Soon though, time got away from me but finally got him on the road and me, too.

Living only ten miles from the church, I had time to get there on time. I travel a windy two-lane highway and usually no problem at all, nice and slow they say. Well, that is exactly what happened. Moving just fine and then nice and slow. Traffic was backed up for several miles. I’m thinking a wreck perhaps but later learned a detour from the main interstate. Slowly inching my way toward church, I come close to a church where my former counselor attends.

It has been now seven months since our last session due to her leave. I have so missed her and have struggled with abandonment and fighting depression but improving. Trying hard to understand but there is still a grief. After four years together in weekly sessions, she was a big part of my life.

So as I approach the parking lot to her church, I could see her car at a distance. Just seeing her car as I pass weekly, as I go to my church and seeing she is at her church, it makes me feel good, knowing she is there and okay.

As I inch my way up the road, the thought came that I will miss seeing her once again although the parking lot was pretty empty.  I was kind of bummed but then I see her car move and come toward the exit. My car was coming up on the church exit, which allowed her to pull out in front of me. It was just as if we planned it.  No, that was the Favor of God or a God Wink, as my new counselor said.

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As her car is now in front of mine, my heart was beating so fast of the excitement of this happening and also seeing her.  Sometimes I am just amazed how such a rare situation can happen with me. It does but it has been a long time. I so needed that whole scenario to happen and no doubt the Lord knew I needed just that. He is so good.

Looking ahead of my car, she was able to pull out on the road with many cars in line behind me and no traffic coming in the other direction. It was like the cars all around us stood still. We could not have timed this any better, only God could. I think she was happy to see me, too.

God Winks. Look for them. 2FAE5D2A-7F51-4487-846C-D547B1E10B98

“Every so-called coincidence or answered prayer is God’s way of letting you know He’s thinking of you.

“An event or personal experience, often identified as coincidence, so astonishing that it is seen as a sign of divine intervention, especially when perceived as the answer to a prayer.”

God +‎ wink; coined by SQuire Rushnell, author

Always Searching

FBFDEB86-FA98-4CFA-8208-F85F595C43D4Today as I go about life on my day off cleaning and doing the mundane things keeping a house, my many breaks tend to leave me researching for whatever is before me.  It’s finding out information and learning.  Google has become my best friend at times, always there, 24/7.

Even today, my mind is bogged down with questions.  I need advice and direction.  What would be nice is to talk 9DC5C451-2B7E-4A64-A913-963B7FC39F29to my former counselor and to get her perspective but that door has closed.  I’m left to search and ponder the unknown until there is an answer or peace in knowing what I think is okay and doing.  Time!

It is good to stretch your brain to learn but it becomes lonely when there is nobody you can turn to that will understand or validate the chaos within.  While yes, ‘nobody’ is a big field to say,  but there are some things that I would rather not discuss with many and at times proven to be the case.

AA7BA65A-E3D3-4208-A5C2-B3646A9FB7B0Searching.  It comes down to and to be reminded that we are to seek God and He will give us truth, answers and faith.  He is there 24/7.  He wants us to search and know Him.

Lord, I need direction, I need answers and most of all, I need You.  It’s as simple as that, and peace in the unknown comes as we put our trust in Him.

We will always be searching for this or that in life but it is when we trust Him, peace will come and that He will give us what we need, at the time we need.  God’s Timing!

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Nothing!

0518437e-e078-4127-b784-db8ae8dcfe70-4006-000002db793c0401Here I am alone in my office and no desire to finish my work that can really wait until tomorrow, so I write for a bit.  The quietness in the office space far from everyone in the building, hearing the HVAC motors on the roof above me makes me feel as I am on an airplane ready for take off.  Anytime now, the flight attendant will be at my door offering up those yummy cookies.  Hey, I can dream.  Dream to take off in flight to somewhere exciting and yes those cookies. cb2b0a80-d041-46e4-877a-cb3a7c4cf0a9-4006-000002dbad019654 Tick tock tick tock, as I have two hours left to maintain this status until I can leave.

Even then, the boredom of life exists.  I joined classes and get regular exercise but my energy level and joy is depleated, as I just fall into bed.4b4d5133-5fef-4f5b-925d-25af21d5693f-4006-000002e1177629f6

Depression, perhaps.  Exhaustion, perhaps, Grief, perhaps.  Loneliness, perhaps.  Put those things and probably a few more it becomes overwhelming.

I know to keep moving and doing and not be isolated, but that comes so easy.  Vacation time is nearing so hopefully that will help, to get away.  A change of scenry, shopping and laughing with a dear friend although tears will fall, too.  Just to get away from nothing here and probably nothing there to really gain but a brief change and there’s nothing to lose.

a4f22023-0749-45cb-bf53-147ea2129562-4006-000002dc8f2ccc3aOh Lord, I need you.  I need your loving arms to hold me.  Only You know me like no other.  Give me strength to keep moving forward and be kind to others and to share your love and your mercy and grace. My focus needs to be on you, as you know my name and where I am when I do not even know myself.

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A Changing Heart

EA46BC12-7A8B-49FE-B638-1CA236B7E3B6On Sunday morning as I was getting ready for church in anticipation, as I truly love my late church service, I felt time was moving so slow.   What was I doing so different than other mornings, as each time I looked at the clock, it only moved minutes from the last observance.

As I drove toward church, with extra time, I went out of my way knowing the traffic from the earlier service would be chaotic due to a recent addition made so I drove around.  Time being available but also in hopes of passing someone that I had not seen for months.

07B036A7-ACE5-4A4C-9FC2-7045D831AEDDIn all that, I found my memories, thoughts and emotions were being affected. My heart becoming heavy and fighting back tears due to grief felt.  Aware of the sadness, as I found my seat, I tried to immerse myself in the worship once the music began.  I tried and did but it was a battle.

As I began to worship and realize that the Lord knows the hurt and grief within, I know He loves me, is healing broken pieces within me and has a plan for me.  He will not let this pain go to waste.

95CEFA90-2892-4F8B-83F6-46B49994BC3FIt was then when I felt light hearted and a refreshing come over me.  It was when I put my eyes, my thoughts and worship toward Him. I could feel joy.

To walk in heavy hearted and to leave light hearted, just within that time period was evidence and knowledge enough to know I am (we are) to look to Him and praise Him.   Acknowledge Him continuously in our daily lives, not just in church.  EDD028E1-1AED-4A58-89F9-3D7F31DF8F6B

People will let us down over and over, disappointments come and things in life just happens but perhaps and many times to push us toward Him.  A lesson learned and repeated but worth it.

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Gently Woven

4156B4E3-9EAE-4A84-BFA9-DE9EAD041FD3There have been times in life, I have wanted to forget something that I did or happened because the thought either brought torment, insecurity, embarrassment, etc.  No doubt, you also.  Things happen in life.

Plus, there have been times I have wanted to forget somebody or several due to being hurt, etc.  The pain of remembering either/or was too great.

Giving thought to how to forget, I found myself Googling just that.  Believe it or not, Google comes through yet again.

As I read the information and the six to ten steps on how to forget someone, etc., I had to laugh at some and come to the realization that no matter what you do in following the steps and recommendations, you can truly not forget.  Our brain is so complex that a scent, sight or memory will be triggered.

06AB7B8F-F83B-4FF0-91BA-26F25A57817BAlthough the pain, as in my instance recently, I would like to forget in order to ease the pain, but in all honesty, I really do not want to forget.  I just want to get through the pain and I will.   Plus, I know that their life is woven into mine and always will be, and mine in theirs.

770B8D89-A272-41BF-B607-CF77AB91ED78So many facets of my life are connected that I do not want to forget how they all came about. To toss them aside, to delete and block out all of the resources received, learned and love shown, it would be impossible.  My life has been and was touched.

Given thought to another, someone that caused me great pain and years to require forgiveness and come to terms with the hatred they have toward me, still they are woven in my life and I am theirs, whether they like it or not.  They can try to shut me out of their lives but family is family and the blood is there.  Still woven, just not so tightly.

Believe it or not, your reading this, we are woven together.  There might be something down the road that will bring this to your remembrance by being with someone.  You have touched a life of someone or they have touched yours.  Woven.

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No matter how or whom we come in contact with, we are gently woven with one another.  It’s pretty awesome to think of how we can or others affect one another.  Perhaps just a kind gesture or even a brief smile that made your day or a touch of somebody’s hand on your arm to encourage.

In life, we are woven to care and show God’s Love.

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A Degree or Not

4e423748-9da1-41e8-81e9-fd289ed9edf7Today, I feel I will lose yet another key person in my life.  Finding myself at a doctor’s appointment, which was for me, it was me giving advice and encouragement to the doctor.  Thankfully, he confided in me, knowing of my own counseling experience but also that I can be trusted and that I care and will pray.

It took a lot of guts to remove the mask and for him to express his own depression, etc.  Perhap he will step aside for a bit to benefit his own self-care, as my counselor is doing.

While I do not know for certain that is her issue, odds are it is, depression and burnout.

Day in and day out of hearing other people complain and definitely confide in them of things that we would probably not handle well, no matter how much education and training, it takes a toll.  It has to.

Years ago, I had a doctor for many years commit suicide.  While he was not the friendliest doctor, I trusted him.  His death knocked me off my rocker for a bit.  Questioning myself, perhaps if I would have been more thankful or made him laugh or even shared God with him, of which I regret, he’d still be my doctor.

Today, I did not fail to share God’s Love with my doctor.

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Again, we never know what the next person around us, at any given moment, is going through, whether it is depression, burnout, etc.  Just because they have a degree, they are not exempt of having issues and wearing a mask appearing all is well.

They, too, need the Love of God and to know that their patients/clients are praying for them.

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