Sometimes I Feel Like a Rock

Sometimes I don’t!

Sometimes you feel like a nut
Sometimes you don’t
Almond Joy’s got nuts
Mounds don’t

Now you have that little jingle in your head. You’re welcome!

There are those days I feel like a rock. You know, it could be a bad hair day, or the gray hairs are sparkling and proving my age, the wrinkles look a little more deeper than the day before, the weight seems to increase and can make one feel hopeless, perhaps a sock gets a hole in the toe which can be annoying or perhaps the clothes or undergarments are just not comfortable. Those days I’d rather stay in bed with a cover of my head. On top of something like those mentioned, somebody’s mood or my own just makes the day even worse and then the emotions show up in tears. Those days are rough and hard to get through.

The next day, I may not feel like such a rock. The hair, the makeup and what you are wearing makes you feel good about yourself and nobody can get your goat and ruin your day. A bring it on attitude of confidence oozes from your glow from your face as your posture is upright while holding your head up and smile at the world. Those are good days and we all need more of them. Hopefully, for the most part, those days are more common than not.

Just recently, I had an opportunity in one of my Facebook groups to enjoy an online sale of geodes and rocks found and tumbled to make into jewelry. I have always found geodes fascinating and have always wanted to go mine rocks to set out and enjoy the beauty. While shopping is fun and it is easier to buy jewelry but playing and digging in dirt would be fun, too. As a child, if there was a mud puddle, I was in it standing and splashing or riding my bike through it and dirt splattered all over me. It made for a fun day or outside fun.

This online Facebook sale is of many in the family I have followed through the years, as each one was involved in one thing or another and I feel like I know them personally. I found it interesting that this father-daughter duo would go rock mining and come back home to show them off while both actively washing the rocks to prepare them many ways. I did not know until that morning of their online sale, which was a must.

The daughter, Cindy, was holding a geode and telling of the online sale. She also held and talked about how we sometimes talk negatively about ourselves or even another. The outside of the rock is full of cracks and crevices and not that pretty, which is what we see. Not good for nothing, it’s a rock. We see the bad parts of ourselves, the wrinkles, gray hair, etc.

With this geode, she turned it over and showed where her father, Pop, cut it in half. The inside of this geode was beautiful. Cindy went onto express how this is how God sees us and that we are inside. There is beauty and a lot of intricate pieces within that makes us unique and special. Not her words exactly but you get the gist or perhaps how I heard her and I am trying to express.

The geodes mined are all different, you and I, each person, are all different. We have good and we have bad or of days of how we see and feel about ourselves or life itself. We have a choice. Do we want to just be the outside of the rock and sit there until we die or do we want to open up and show the beauty within of the gifts and talents, the love, care and kindness to share of what the Lord has given us?

He made us to show up and show off what He has done, as we are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Lord. To understand the smallest and intricate details of our lives occur according to the plan of the Lord, how can we not bring Him glory and praise? When we know and do this, we love ourselves and exemplify His love in us so that we can give to others. They see Him in us.

We may experience some days when we may feel like an old ugly rock. May you and I always know and remember that deep within, we are beautiful.

To love yourself was always hard for me to grasp, as I could only see most the rock formation due to circumstances in my life. Plus, I did not want to be stuck on myself as I have seen that happen. I found it easier to love others and see and even express their worth and beauty, but not my own. I’m sure my counselor wanted to throw a rock at me and say, “Why can’t you grasp this?” Still, as I am better in this of caring and loving myself, I cringe. Just writing that, I did. Even though, I know deep down I am made in the image of God, He made me who I am, He has given me gifts and talents and no matter what I look like on the outside or feel on the inside, He Loves Me. In that, it is all that matters. He loves me so much that I can love myself and I wish that for you.

So sometimes we feel like a rock and sometimes we don’t.

Interesting that this blog came about this weekend with Easter. As I held my geode in my hand and turned it over and over to look at it, the thought of the tomb. The stone, it was rolled away.

He Lives!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/321200912519586/?ref=share

Pops Rockz – Facebook

HOPE

We all need HOPE, nowadays more than ever. Last night, as I was going through my jewelry, I found a ring that says HOPE on it and my mind went back to the night I found it. Memories, good and bad, will surface at the oddest times from years ago, just like it was yesterday.

My mind went back to when I went to a large arena, I am unsure if it was a sports or a music event and I am unsure of those I was with, but I was not alone. I say that because I know I went for a reason and with others but even in the huge, dark building filled with thousands of people all around me, I felt alone.

It is hard to even think so far back of that time, reliving this moment, it is just as real and allowing the pain I felt deep within my soul. It seemed as though everything around me in life was like a huge, dark cloud that I was living in. It was lowest time of my life due to situations. I had nobody to tell or to trust of what I was experiencing, I felt hopeless. I did keep a lot to myself. In that, depression enters and you survive another day, at times making one foot go in front of the other, just to move forward.

I experienced that period of deep depression, but I wonder how many others share the same sense of hopelessness, the heartache within, wearing a mask that all is well. It doesn’t matter if in your circle of friends, family, passing others in public and sadly enough, sitting on the same pew at church with you. Life sometimes does not go well. Odds are, they are there among you, among all of us. We are all going through something.

As I sat in my seat at the arena, for whatever reason I was looking around, probably at an intermission time, and I saw something shiny in the corner under a seat. Since I was alone and the seat was empty, I hesitated but then reached for that shiny object. It intrigued me so why not. As a I pulled it out of the muck that can build under seats, I wiped it off. I knew it was round and a ring and knowing such items are lost at times. Wiping it off to look at, I could have bursted out crying. It had HOPE stamped on it all around the band.

It’s in the dark places that you grow, even if you feel stomped on and near death. We may not understand the dark valleys we walk through and may question God, why? He is with us, He was with me as I held that dirty ring of HOPE. I was reminded of His Love and to hold on, for I was not alone after all.

You cannot tell me that God does not see us and knows where we are. I walked in with no hope and walked out with HOPE.

Knowing it was not an expensive ring, I knew someone had lost it. As we were exiting, there was nowhere to return it to lost and found. Odds are the person who lost it will never come back to claim it or even look for it under the dirty seats. So I made the decision to keep it, as I needed HOPE and it did indeed give me just that. I cleaned the ring better at home and it was on my finger.

Not to forget through this, somebody lost that ring and at some point needed hope, too, and I do hope and pray they are doing well in life. I would like to think that they, too, hope and pray for the one that perhaps finds the ring, me.

In life, there are times we walk through and feel stuck in the muck and nasty stuff, just like this ring. Still through the mess, the ring was shining through as a fleck for me to see. We each are blessed with gifts and talents, which may seem dim and useless to us, or to even put forth an effort trying, feeling so worthless. He has to remind us, even in such simple things as this ring. He cleans us off and makes us shine so that we can share His Love with others and provide HOPE when there seems to be none.

There is HOPE!

https://formerheathen.wordpress.com/2014/11/17/blessed-in-the-dark-places/

“And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security.” Job 11:18

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.” Psalm 62:5

“But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.” Psalm 72:14

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his wordI hope;” Psalm 130:5

“More than that, we rejoice in out sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces, hope,” Romans 5:3-4

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans’ 12:12

The Bible is full of HOPE, as He knew we would need such in our lives to pull strength from, to live on this earth day by day. “My soul, finds rest in God; my hope comes from him.”

It’s Time To Be Quiet

My hopes, my dreams, my goals and my plans are for me. Those things that are in the working stages in my life are mine to hope for, figure out, contemplate and discover. They are not yours, they are mine. Many times when we speak of such to another, they don’t understand or care enough as we would like and to not fully understand our journey that we are on. We walk away sometimes discouraged. The reason being, it is not their journey. It’s ours.

Your journey is not my journey. I am not to point my finger and tell you what to do or make you feel less than because I do not agree. Many have their opinions and are willing to freely give. Some are good points to consider but the final choice is ours, good or bad. Perhaps their input is pushing the plan a little quicker than we’d prefer but we know to wait. The wait is hard to understand and impatience shows up to rush the plan. Just do it! No! An uneasiness within catches my attention and it should. Timing, as I have mentioned before in my blogs, it will happen when the time is right. Of course, I have had those moments thinking if am I right, am I just afraid or just plain stupid. Waiting is hard.

As I shared some information the other day with another, I walked away feeling as though I don’t want to share nothing any further. Something was different, it’s like I am to be quiet. It’s not a withdrawal of sharing due to depression but the steps I now must take is to be private. It is not necessary to share everything. As it comes to pass, my faith grows because my trust is in the Lord and not others. He says, I know the desires of your heart. I must believe Him.

There is an excitement within me to figure out what lies ahead. Early in this pandemic, I woke up and immediately sat up in bed with the words, saying aloud, “Do you trust Me?” Another time, the same but more of a peaceful expression, “You are my hiding place.” Each time I would write such words down and put before me to see on my wall near my chair that only I see, as I don’t want to forget and I want to be reminded. I look at it often and oftentimes say it to hear myself, to know that it is okay, to have peace. The words, “Be Still and know that I am God,” is one I glance at often when I worry, more of my son with this one verse but also in all things, when thoughts come that bring fear.

I know He knows my name and I know He knows where I am. Just knowing He knows, a peace comes when I feel unsteady going forward and what is around me seems chaotic. Too many years have passed of holding onto those words to not believe and watch what is to happen. Faith. We must have faith!

Trusting yourself, to trust the Lord, brings growth.

https://www.mondayslife.com/the-season-of-transition-waiting-on-god-for-the-next-move/

https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2014/06/11/lord-i-dont-know-what-to-do

“Show me the right path, O LORD; point out the road for me to follow.” Psalm 25:4 (NLT)