Online

I sometimes wonder if other mothers are like me. As we have babies and they grow, we are the one who tends to them and the responsibility is great but so rewarding, even though we do get tired.

Once high school is over, these kids are venturing out in the world. Little by little as this moment of release, we have felt the relationship loosen its grip of needing mom. On the first one, I felt a grief and on the second, I recognized what I was sensing. A sadness, a grief of no longer being needed. I would, of course, always be their mom but not in the same role. It’s hard.

Then there is college. Wow! They are on their own in an unknown place , making unknown friends and having choices in all areas of good and bad. Mama has no control. There is no curfew or rules and a new-found freedom is exciting for them. All the while, as each child leaves, the ‘empty nest’ becomes real.

As a mom or as parents, we learn to live differently. Who is this man I married or vice versa, who am I to this man. A real test there may take place. The child(ren) find their path as the parent(s) do.

It’s been ten plus years with both of my children living on their own. Thankfully, college brought 4.0 grades for both and many good friends. There were some moments here and there but that’s life.

I don’t talk or call/text them daily and there may be days or weeks, as I know they have a life and busy. They will contact me at times, which I am overly thrilled and will stop what I am doing to share this time. I have learned to FaceTime with them, which is nerve wracking for me but normal for them. I’m learning. I’m blessed with two great young men.

They have had my prayers even before I had them and they will until my last breath. One thing, they will never have to doubt is my love or my prayers for them.

Tonight, and other times, I can see if they are online in certain social media outlets. I laughed at myself, as just seeing that, it gives me a peace. I see that they are there. I am here. It just kind of makes everything in the world okay for this mom.

I am their mom, always will be, online or offline. ❤️❤️

You Drain Me

There are moments in life that happen, whether expected or unexpected, and your physical body and emotions cannot carry anymore. You need a break, you need rest.

These moments of time spent and caring for yourself to take time to withdraw, makes the mental toll on one also. Now there are the lies we hear within that we are lazy.

Years, I let that lie heap upon me due to my situation. It was not until I told my counselor years ago, and she gave me the gift of knowing it was okay to nap, to rest. I was exhausted from it all. Again, a free gift that meant the world to me, as it lifted a load off of me and gave me a freedom.

Now, as a new chapter emerges in my life and family situation, I have had to endure my time with one that drained me before. While I can limit my time and understand that I can leave, it helps. I have noticed though, within me, that the day after of spending any amount of time with this one, I am exhausted yet again. It is like I need to recharge until the next expected time I need to be present.

This is such a draining on me and so pattern-like that I want no more. Reminding myself… Just a little bit longer, as I am almost at the finish line.

Then I can walk away. You drain me.

Funnel of His Love

There are times in life, we are uncertain of many given moments, but we hold on even when we feel weak and hopeless. I have had my share of ups and downs, as I am sure you can nod your head in agreement.

We fall and fail but we get back up and try again. Life happens. Forgiveness and unforgiveness is a battle at times until we realize forgiveness is best in order to move forward. So much in life is learning of our true self.

Where we are weak and where we are strong, we learn sometimes the hard ways. A balance of our daily walk, holding our head up when possibly feeling down. We each struggle at times. Thankfully, we have joy many times.

Through it all, it is knowing the One who holds your hand, knows all about you, the good and the bad but still loves you. He sees you.

As I pondered my day and listened to someone sharing God’s Love, then praying, I just lifted my hands high and as I looked up at them, it was like a funnel. Saying, Oh Lord let Your Love funnel into me. I need you more today than I needed yesterday.

Maybe this was or is just for me but maybe you reading this, you also need His Love to funnel into you. He’s there and He sees you.

Be Blessed