Don’t Move!

Many years ago, we lived on a street not far from my parents and I loved our cute house, our home for eleven years. The memories of my boys being raised there will always be fond ones.59AF2340-E891-4552-B30C-43D3E15500E0

We had a sweet, older woman across the street that was the best neighbor and friend ever. I remember telling her before I had my second child my fear of not having enough love for another child. My first child was the best thing ever for me. I finally knew with him what love was and felt like by having him. He was mine and I am his, I am his mother, the bond of love was there. My sweet neighbor just said, ‘you will have enough love for this child, too.’ Sure enough, she was right. Now the two of them were mine and I am theirs, their mother and each one loved so much.15207284-63B5-464E-83F2-071B9CDE8F4AYears later, we decided to move. Even though there was excitement, there was also a loss of leaving my neighbor. I knew she hated losing us as I/we hated losing her, the closeness we had as being neighbors. Our move was not far at all, just up the street so basically we were still neighbors but not one of close proximity as before. I told her we would still be close although I realized she knew then what I feel now, we won’t. The relationship and closeness will never be the same. 

Now, my friend that is my walking buddy and I have EC5217E6-A035-4A0D-9750-FE09D15FE958been friends for years, and lives close. Actually, she lives in our old house, which tends to bring joy when I visit, as I can go down memory lane of when we lived there.

EEA427C5-F52F-4E05-9C1A-61D0C45EDF23Just this past week, she informed me that they are moving. While excited for them as we walked and talked about their upcoming plans, days later I found myself sad over this matter. I was now dealing with grief. I am losing yet another person in my life. Of course, they are not moving far away but enough that our walking routine and friendship will never be the same. Knowing just as with my sweet, older neighbor and our move back then, it will not be the same. So I am saddened by this move of my friend.EE4AB162-5F9A-4701-BDCA-9A723A9EC374

Even though, as with other losses in my life, life does go on. There is hope in that saying but yet there is still a sense of sadness, we grieve for what once was and miss them.

In all honesty, I found myself upset and asking, ‘Lord, why FB2FEDA6-40B7-4650-AF62-BE161EDAF270are you taking another person from my life?’ I had a little pity party but I know it is Him that I go to, lean on and love. He will NEVER leave me.

I have realized certain people come into our lives at the time we need them and no doubt they need us, having faith that the Lord allowed our paths to cross. He is good like that.C2FA78BD-45FD-4695-A72E-921BC7F0CD8A

In my years with those that did cross my path and a relationship was built, it may be years later when we see each other again. Still there is a friendly-relationship bond that is still present and we pick up where we left off but not on an everyday occasion, it could be years until we meet again. Those relationships, I do enjoy because I feel the Lord allowed them at the right time, right place.  Blessings!779A0739-FECF-4505-8C7F-8EEB9898D27C

Now my dear friend, walking buddy is moving soon. As we get closer to springtime, my daily walks will not be the same without her. Although, we will both walk forward, both of us knowing the Lord is doing a work in each of our lives and there is excitement in the air. As the seasons change, so do relationships and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

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“Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they’ve given us.” —Emery Allen

3 Ways to Tell if They Are In Your Life For a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

Grades of Grief

1CC51986-2CC6-456F-BCB2-98B5AF2690B2     I have had my share of grief in life and no doubt, you also.  It, of course, can come from a physical death of a loved one or friend but grief is shared among other losses and the pain is there.
     Growing up and probably until my own mother passed away, I dealt with deaths and the visitations, funerals and family gatherings afterward never wanting to lose touch with cousins and extended family members, but you do.
     It was when my mother passed that it all became real, the grieving of what was and what will never be.  While we were not the mother-daughter connection as pictures show and memories are made of, still she was my mother.  Sitting at traffic lights looking up at the beautiful sky and seeing the clouds, the tears would flow were my usual bouts of grief.
     Just a few years later, while trying to maintain my own home but also my father’s home and all of his financial and medical affairs, my marriage was dying.  I could feel it, I knew things were not right. I blamed myself as I was being pulled in many directions and apparently neglecting him.  While that was all true of caring and doing for many, I am not to accept all the blame and I will not.  Still, grieving the marriage of what was and what will never be.
F36661FC-75AE-4792-88F7-1F4EFB5ACE0E     Through the years, I have lost friendships for whatever reason by job change, moving, etc. no doubt, you have also.  Realizing their friendship was just for a season, whether it be their season or mine, it still hurts to lose the closeness. Depending how close we were, the grief can become intense, not just uncomfortable for a bit.
     With that I found myself to be distant with some because of the hurt, the grief of losing them. They are still alive but not there. Just recently, I went through this with someone very special to me. Every level of grief was there still and I knew it. Even today, I now teeter between the depression stage and acceptance.  This can last for a bit.  When sadness hits, I cry and then I get back up accept what is. Thankfully the anger has lost its power but it was there and normal.
     Whether it is a person, a pet or whatever to cause your heart to ache, it is normal.  It just shows you are normal and have a heart and love within that you shared.
Looking at the chart of the many levels of grief, I recognize each one and understand when it hits.  One of those, ‘been there, done that’ quotes.  No matter what your situation, grief is hard and exhausting.
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     Understanding the levels of grief in whatever you are facing, it will help you through it.  Normal.  Cry if you need to and then carry on the best you can. Some days you will need to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.  Normal.  Will life be the same?  No.  A new normal will form and you will adjust.  One day, your experience will be encouragement to another; you made it and they will also.
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