I Became Her

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The other night I had to laugh at myself, as I was reading something with my reading glasses on and looked up, realizing my glasses were lower on my nose, and I am looking over the rim. When I was young, I’d see older D686905C-1D11-421E-B8BA-B51B3989E663women doing just this and hated it, thinking I will never do that. I became her.

Going back in my memories, my parents would dress up and go to company dinners. I was young and was always fascinated watching my mom put makeup on at the bathroom mirror, as most little girls do. When finished and the final step was the lipstick, as she would always give a quick pucker-up kiss as a stamp of approval.  I stood in the doorway, just watching and waiting. Before she started the process of applying makeup though, the Oil of Olay 28BC5192-DB01-4419-8E45-0D3C94E0B990would be smeared on her face, with me asking why she does that. Of course, her reply was that it was to reduce wrinkles. I told her that I was not going to have wrinkles. I still remember her slight laughter and saying, okay we will see how that works out. I became her.

F57FFC5C-C925-4E3A-8D64-CCF2AB296D17Another time with mom, she loved Jergens hand lotion and used regularly. I looked at her hands and from years and age, her skin was looser than mine, being a child, as I observed the differences. Of course in my child’s mind and stating the fact, my hands will not look like that. Today, I have aged and I see my mother’s hands when I look at my own. I became her.

When I was in fifth grade, my teacher was so pretty. I was at an age of growing up, going through puberty. While I had sisters and my mom, they were too busy to help me in areas that young girls should know about. I watched this teacher, admired her hair, how she dressed, matching shoes, jewelry, plus she had a sweet and caring personality. To me, she was a role model, and I learned by observing and paying attention to details, which have helped me through my life. I became her.

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As I was in my senior year of high school, not knowing what I was going to do after graduation when asked by the shorthand/typing teacher. I really and truly had no ideal what the future held for me. It was when she not asked if we wanted to go but said we were going to the local Vocational School for Business & Office training. This teacher took two of us to visit the school, and we signed up because she said to, so my friend and I went to Vocational School. This has been my livelihood since 1977. With her teaching me, leading me, actually guided my life, I have been able to succeed and teach others. I became her.

During this pandemic, with no haircuts and a lot of things we take for granted were not being had. As I was working in the yard, I had a bandana around my neck as my sister visited and I pulled up over my mouth and nose, not knowing what we were all dealing with and respect for her. As I continued to work, sweating but making progress with our landscape, I took that bandana and slipped it on my head, holding back my hair that is now longer than usual. I went into the house at one point and glanced at a mirror on the way out, stopped and laughed as I saw my mom’s reflection look back at me, as she would wear a bandana the same way. I became her.DE7D0BC6-5908-4C15-9461-DDFDA9063584

Many have been in my life as role models, some as a mother figure to help me, to care and to give me those hugs that I longed for in my life. So many helped me know how to be a Christian and mature in my faith. Others, helped me understand life and who I am. To be a wife and a mother, and how to love and teach my children, I watched many through the years. Plus, how to be a good daughter-in-law and how to be a good mother-in-law. I have been touched by so many in my life and I can truly say from each one, I became her. Blessed

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 We tend to become like those we admire.” Thomas Monson
“Sometimes a teacher is the only positive role model a student will see each day.”
“God puts people in our lives on purpose so we can help them succeed and help them become all He created them to be. Most people will not reach their full potential without somebody else believing in them.” Joel Osteen 

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Invalidation

312E6086-FA19-47FD-999C-B90D852D5941Have you ever thought, just perhaps you are making headway and then the bottom falls out?

Being full of hope and excited about a dream and a goal that is beginning to take shape and you make a mistake, realizing afterward, by sharing and shot down with negativity. It was my own fault to even share and now kicking myself, as I pondered the words and unsure how to digest but also fighting to not give up. Through the night, tossing and turning, I realized just the degree of invalidation received F1975275-42B4-4FC1-BD46-5D0052528116from one that usually is supportive. I think that is what shocks me more. What gives? Is it that I just need to accept and move on, and then not expressing how insensitive it was, all of which I did. Now clinching my jaw in despair working through the chaos within, choking back my tears.

It is the after thoughts, when it is too late to express by being shocked and not wanting to hurt their feelings. I should have replied, “Thanks for your invalidation.”

I am reminded, we should not share our dreams and our goals with another, as it is not their dreams and goals, for this very reason. Got it!

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Psalm 20:4 “May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.” Psalm 33:11 “But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” Psalm 37:4-5 “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.