Writing On The Wall

We’ve all heard that saying before, ‘writing on the wall’ to profess in time we knew it would happen. Usually something bad.

I redecorated a bedroom to an office space. I wanted unique and I found a paper for an accent wall. I love it. Actually, it is something we all need to read and know, to love and accept ourselves with a confidence.

I shared a pic with my sister and jokingly, she said mom would be mad that I wrote on the wall. My other sister said it was like we had to do many years ago in school, which was to write it hundreds of times, to remember something, a punishment usually. There was no copy and paste back then.

Her comment made me think. While I did not personally write on the wall hundreds of times, the written words are visible to me daily to accept and let them dwell within. These are all positive words, to be encouraged and to know they are true and push us forward. I can accept and grasp. I am worthy to accept even ‘be YOU tiful’. Not all the time in life could I have believed that, majority of it, to be honest.

So, in this case, the writing on the wall in my office is a good thing. It’s unique. We all need reminders and for me, hundreds of times.

I’m unique to God. You are unique to God. Just be encouraged, you are special and loved.

A Mother’s Guilt

Does it ever end? I really was a good mother, the best I knew to be but I feel I failed in so many areas, too. Don’t we all though? The ‘if only’ I had known or could do over sometimes rolls over in my mind, even though they are grown adults. I needed more time with them to do this or that, teach them things that I overlooked and so much more. Time runs out.

A mother of toddlers and as they grow, it is exhausting but the best reward in life ever. It is not an easy job being a parent. Today, I wonder how the parents are relating and dealing with what is before their own children and family, as the world seems to be spiraling down to a deep despair of ungodliness.

I remember the time when my boys were old enough and to the age of puberty and here comes Clinton having office sex with his staff attorney, being discussed on tv. I felt I was at a loss. Now all the drag and pronouns and senseless behavior. It boggles my mind.

All I know to do is realize deep down and STOP the mental fight that I was a bad mom and did not do enough. My sons are doing quite well, but I know also I failed them in many ways. We learn. They learn. We all learned. Our parents did not do everything right either, I know mine did not. They did the best they could at the time. I must forgive them. I must forgive myself. To dwell in the depths of despair is useless and causes the rabbit hole of mental anguish to deepen.

What I can do today, from this point forward and each day is to be a better mom. To be me and know that they have a path to walk and to keep my eyes on the Lord, knowing and truly believing that He has prepared a path for them. They get to choose and make decisions. I have been out of the picture for a long while now, but I will always be a landing pad for them, if needed. They know that and they know, too, that I love them.

The guilt comes to all of us parents. It is the point of stopping the guilt and acknowledging that our prayers have been heard and that the Lord knows their name and He knows exactly where they are in life. Sometimes, we want to help the Lord. Just stop and let Him show them the way and that they be open enough to recognize the way. I did my job and probably you have, too, or are in the midst. Just because they are adults, they are still our children. Our way is not their way. We let go again and again. Let God.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/verses-to-pray-over-your-children.html

Turn The Page

How could I miss this appointment, I rehearsed yet again tonight. This is not like me. At a point of beating myself up over such a minor thing. Of course, the thought that I am losing it enters my my mind. I am old. No! I will not accept the forgetting process, as I am still pretty sharp. Maybe too much on my mind though. That settles that!

My mind wonders over the day of why I forgot this appointment, as it is not like me. The call, hearing “where are you?” and it all came back to my remembrance.

Here it is Tuesday, feels like Monday after a holiday. I usually don’t work all day on Tuesday. It is the last day of the month. My wall calendar at the office reads June already. I probably should have waited on that change. Even my personal calendar, I looked at June today. So it all makes sense. Still, I hate to miss an appointment. I did. Done.

So, as I look at all the reasons and get over the fact I forgot, I was reminded that I am to turn the page. What was is no more. New day, new time, new month. I’m ready to go forward. Let it go.

In that, it is a good thing. Moving forward. Looking over my life with just this oversight and of some things I never ever want to go through again or anyone else experience, you must turn the page.

Don’t dwell on past mistakes, missed appointments or the many disappointments in life. I remained stuck for so long, for years, I do not want to do that anymore.

There’s freedom in turning the page.

Isaiah 43:18-19 “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”