So many times watching movies or seeing couples together in public that seem happy and have a closeness, I become somewhat envious, to be honest. Recently, seeing a couple together, him sweeping her up in his arms and so happy she will be his wife. What would that be or feel like?
Marriage is love between two people but that love can die due to situations never expected. A death of a marriage and then the shock of it happening is not what was expected. What happened? There was to be a happily ever after. Whether male or female, we want our relationships to grow and be happy. To know one another so well that you know their next move or what will be said or thinking. They are to become one.
Sadly, some in marriages do just that, become one. The spouse is no longer engaged either by choice or by circumstance.
So many times I wonder what it would be like to be a happily married couple. A loss I will never gain, once a grieving but soon it becomes reality.
What’s it like? A day, in the life of a happy couple. Morning has broken and the day begins while both get ready, and soon a quick kiss and an I Love You as each go their separate ways out the door. The day is preoccupied with work or tasks but even so, thoughts of your love one crosses your mind or perhaps a call or a text of I miss you. The joy of pulling in your driveway and being home in the evening to share a hug and a kiss when walking through the door, eat a meal and discuss the day, perhaps the yesterdays or make plans for the future. There is a closeness of wanting to share and express life whether in talk, some tears shed perhaps or laughter with each another, your best friend. The one loves the other and there is a safety net with each other. As the night closes, the closeness of each other lying in bed next to each other feeling their warmth and of resting in their love only to repeat the next day again and again. Yes, I mentioned no sex. Now you know that will happen, in a happily married couple, how could it not. There’s love. Right? What would that be like, to feel loved and be desired? I forgot.
Now to others, it is not the fairytale marriage one expected in life. Instead of Good Morning, it usually is a grunt or a sad sounding hello as each other pass in the hallway while getting ready for the day and off they go. No kiss or even I will miss you. The day goes by and maybe a text or something, probably about an issue but not at all exciting to receive. Now, only to return after a long day to also go their separate ways within a home under the same roof. No connection. The bedtime is either together or perhaps in separate rooms and either way, the possibility of any sparks flying are diminished. Just go to sleep and repeat day after day. Where is the love? Is this what marriage is to be like?
As I observe and know of others and know my own situation, there has to be more to life. Sadly, I am not alone feeling the same. Many are in the same boat. Reluctant to rock that boat to move on due to one reason or another and just sail along as best as you can and just survive, basically exist. Is that happiness? No. It might be the best option at the moment though. Hopefully, taking care of oneself and preparing to gain strength from the worthlessness felt and to find the happiness lost and joy within. It takes two to make a relationship work but it also takes two to give up and to not even try or care anymore. The one may feel hopeless and just tired of even trying while the other exists and no desire to do anything about the situation.
If this is you and your situation, please take care of you. If this is a couple or someone you know that is going through such pain and being unsure about life itself, just listen and support. Nobody really knows what goes on behind their closed doors but them. The Lord knows and maybe a counselor, and both I recommend.
I feel almost positive that there are many married couples that appear happy and in love, engaged in one another only while in public and especially in church, sad to say. Behind those closed doors, in the privacy of their own home, lives two strangers under one roof. Leaving the home to go out, the mask is placed and adjusted for another show of a happily married couple. This becomes exhausting. There is no happiness or love and this is not okay. It’s time to look in the mirror and put the mask down.
I know of each of these scenarios myself and it is sad to admit but truth. I am not the only one. That would be truth, too. So many times I have felt seasick on the boat of life, but I have finally tossed the mask. Even though, I often think or say, ‘What’s it all about, Alfie?’
Of course, after that quick question and cute song title of ‘What’s it all about Alfie?’ I say or cry out in a sad, pitiful voice, ‘There has to be more, Lord!’
I know in time, the boat will dock and I will get off. I see the shoreline and that gives me hope. Faster, faster! I know His timing is perfect. I wait
While I have been blessed in many ways, I also know of the pain and heartache endured. One day, as I stand knowing I am free to live with no mask again to wear, sadness and loneliness of a dead relationship gone, I will look all around me with a joyful heart, finding myself in an unknown territory asking, ‘What’s it all about Alfie?’
There has to be more in life, Lord, and I want it. I do not want to die this way. There is happiness beyond our sadness.