Woman at the Tree

Have you ever stopped and noticed an image in wood grain of a door, in various paintings or other inanimate objects? I’m sure you have at some point in your life, you have done just that with clouds. It’s fun and is actually relaxing.

I have lived in the present house for twenty years now. It’s an older house and actually it belong to my parents so I grew up in this house, too. The yard is about an acre, not too big and not too small although as we get older, it seems to get bigger and be more than we prefer to deal with.

The back yard was full of trees and bushes when my parents moved in, back in 1964 and was thinned out. When we bought it in 1999, we took out trees also. There is this one big maple tree in the middle of our back yard. This tree after all of these years still provides shade and perfect where it is, but I have recently noticed a figure of a body in the trunk of it, a full body. As I stand at my kitchen window doing dishes or just looking out and watching the birds, I look at this tree and realized it is a body of a woman. I felt she deserved a name, which is Tree-na, of course.

Apparently, I need to get out more. Throughout this pandemic, this has been fun to view and get lost in the imagination of the tree. Why have I not seen this before?

Do you see her? Her head is tilted down, my opinion. Once the weather is cooler, my intention is to give the body an outline with paint and color to enjoy even more and it will be a definite conversation piece. Perhaps a fright to some, which makes it even more fun. 

If all of these years living here and being in this house, looking out into the back yard, from childhood basically, this woman in the tree never stood out to me. Now though it is one of those things, I cannot unsee. I wonder, how much more do I not see around me or in front of me, wherever I go. Lord, open my (our) eyes.

This year has been a year that none of us will forget as we shake our heads in disbelief of the chaos, confusion and fear. I wonder the same, how much more I do not see around me or in front of me, wherever I go. Lord, I (we) need your discernment and protection.

“Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from your law.” Psalm 119:18

“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15-16

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ephesians 6:12

https://www.buzzfeed.com/christopherhudspeth/pareidolia-quiz

Pareidolia was at one time considered a symptom of human psychosis, but it is now seen as a normal human tendency. Pareidolia is not confined to humans. Scientists have for years taught computers to use visual clues to “see” faces and other images.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/illusions-delusions-and-reality/201902/mind-controlled-motion-perception

It’s a Secret

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As we still trudge through this virus all over the world and we will for a bit, we will get through this, just not as quick as I would like, for you also no doubt. This is not just a my four and no more situation, dealing with a family stomach bug being passed from one family member to another, under the one roof. To think how vast this virus is, is almost inconceivable. Massive!

I am not here to discuss my theories or others about it but what I have noticed looking out over my face mask and the daily observations.  Looking over your face mask, for one, you do not see what is in front of you, your peripheral vision is blocked and can easily trip.

No doubt about it, the masks are hot to wear. Some have come to the point of let’s wear them and get through this pandemic perhaps faster. In the beginning, I wondered if it was a pride issue with the bully-type voice, I’m not wearing those. I had to question myself months ago for this reason or for the fact of possibly being made fun of 90F608BF-6BDA-4F1F-B9C9-E5C9B14C9DF7by wearing it. I believe that was my main issue, please don’t make fun of me, the freeze response that gets triggered within. Of course, we still have the rebellious ones that still will not wear one although pretty much mandated. We all have things in life we don’t want to do and sometimes they throw an adult temper tantrum.  Do I like wearing the mask? No, I do not. Do I wear the mask? Yes, if I am out and about, observing the rules or in a close quarters, such as an elevator and the other person has a mask on, out of respect, I will put one on. Respect for others, just wear the mask.

In regard to the mask, I noticed more yesterday in myself, I miss the full facial, one-on-one discussions seeing their mouth move, the smiles, just overall expressions. As I sat in my counselor’s office, both of us wearing a mask, both hating this, I missed seeing him, his full face and no doubt this makes it hard for him to not see my face in observation. They are great to catch tears that fall though. I just miss faces and how beautiful people are.

I have joked while wearing my mask at work as I pass a co-worker from another floor in the hallway or an attorney, etc., as we squint trying to realize who we are with one another and then I jokingly say, I really am 3263BBF5-F3C3-47A8-A0CA-917489263E90smiling under this mask and it is good to see you and we move on in that brief moment. There is rarely those moments of standing and talking, asking about work, their families, etc. Rules… stay six feet away, reading and being reminded of the many stickers on the floor. A lot like the game, Twister (go here, go there). I miss the freedom and the contact of reaching out to pat another’s arm to comfort them during a rough patch in life. Everyone is hesitant to show that concern or even offer a hug and if so, a hesitation not knowing if it will be received. This makes me so sad. There are certain ones in my life, we hug and to not get that hug, I am unsure how I will react. The mask, the virus is all like an individual jail cell.

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This past month though I have known some that did get the virus. A few are in the hospital, some are at home with symptoms and dealing with the fatigue is what I most hear. Too close to home. These people are those from my church. The churches were opening up and oh how nice it was to go, sing, worship, hear a message in person, actually see church family and feel somewhat normal once again. I realized early on in this pandemic that the last time I walked out the church doors, back in March, walking back in months later that I would not be the same person. I am not. I am better. I have had to depend upon the Lord even more than before, pray and worship alone and know that He is my (our) source to get through this battle with the pandemic. Draw close to Him.

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Attending those few services and our faith and joy being together once again, I felt within that I needed to back off and decided not to attend. Was it fear or was the Lord warning me, I was unsure. The next Sunday, there was not a live, in-person service but rebroadcasts, now for weeks. Strange! That is not like my pastor or church so I knew something was wrong and my suspicions were correct. The Covid19 virus was running rampant from the pastor and with members. Nothing was said. Questions within me of what is up. There was no Facebook talk or gossip between those that you know will have freedom to share. Nothing! I kept quiet and watched, listened and read but still nothing. I mentioned this to my friend in Arizona and that I feel something is not right, I feel like the virus has hit but nothing being said. Why?  It’s all secrecy of what is happening. It is one of those moments, if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it’s a duck. Once, weeks later, I found myself disappointed and angry that the church members in attendance, me included, was not informed that this was indeed happening with others. No 7F392A62-BB59-412E-BE76-B4250382A69Ctracing of the contacts, just getting through it, hopefully. I did not care for it and felt like it was deception. Again, too close to home and I found myself more guarded with others, which brings isolation and distance. We need each other.

Just yesterday, which prompted this writing was when our accountant was in the office, using my desk for financial reports on my computer, she whispers that another employee she does work for has Covid19. The whisper. I had to ask what she had just said and sure enough what I thought she said. Wondering why the whisper in my office alone. Of course, in my mind I had to wonder just if…. if she was in his office and he ended up with it, now she is in my office and on my computer, a little panic stirred within me. I have no doubt we all pass people who have it, had it or carrying it. I know I/we cannot live in fear and the percentage of getting it is a possibility. It is just the secrecy of it all that I am seeing and hearing.

I guess I am still stuck on my Pastor not sharing right up in the beginning with his congregation. Perhaps not verbally but maybe at least a notice on the rebroadcasts that scrolls across the screen of an alert. I was in service. I may not have it but I could be a carrier. I deserve to know, as you would.

As we wake each day and have no symptoms, we need to be thankful. Pray for those that are dealing with symptoms and a full-blown case of the virus at home or in the hospital. Those front-line nurses and doctors and many others that help us maintain a somewhat normal lifestyle. Remembering, too, those that have lost loved ones through this  pandemic.

It is no secret that this is real.  …..Stay Well…..

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