Young and Stupid

109AFED2-EACF-4123-A491-4DAFC3FF4F62I definitely remember being just that… young and stupid. A lot of things could be said, but I got through and learned some major lessons, some the hard way. So I try to remember my youth and the rebelliousness and my ways when listening to my son with his thoughts and plans recently.

I am sure each one of us could admit that, too, of making crazy decisions. This one thing that came to mind when talking to him and growing irritable with him 897E95B7-AE85-48FB-AFB8-49BE3FCE5C83within, while trying my best to remain calm, was when I withdrew my retirement.

I did not listen to anyone, ask for direction or do any research of what happens if I took out my retirement of almost twelve years working. At that time in my life, being newly married and expecting a baby, we did not feel that old age would be an issue or come so quickly. How crazy is that? It did! While it was a nice down payment on our first house, I lost out. I find myself still having regret over this but there again, young and stupid. I could have retired many years ago, remain working at my present job to accumulate more for a second retirement. Now, I will work longer in life but thankfully I enjoy my job. I learned my lesson and will advise others to not do what I did.  83C51930-D5F0-4ACF-BB1C-242F4E6701C6

No doubt years from now, my son will have some regrets. He is so much like me. Somewhat scary. Still he will learn, the hard way. E6246A32-09B3-4C05-8DD3-3A3B90CE9804

He is a full-grown adult now, I have no say really in his life anymore or the decisions he will make. As his mother, it gives me great joy and pride in how well he has done but in other areas, I want to scream, please listen to me or someone. While the control and panic is felt within my body and my mind is swirling of how it would be better if he would listen, I still have to let go and realize he has to walk his own path. All I can do is pray.F0C03789-7C93-4E10-8546-7AABEFC5690C

Being a parent is wonderful but it is hard. No matter how old they get, there is still that motherly instinct to oversee them. Letting go was hard years ago when my boys attended college, knowing home would never be the same, for them or for us. I feel as though it is letting go once again.

594E5D97-9828-4048-9114-D852E3644F95One day, the roles will be reversed by them taking care of me and making decisions on my behalf and odds are, I will not listen to them or be happy with some decisions made or worse. Guess I better keep my mouth shut now.BA016A88-5F6D-4BE7-A682-4D876C84F3F1

Oh to be young and stupid. I would definitely do things a lot differently in so many ways. I have heard that from so many through the years.

So I will continue and will to my dying day, pray for my boys, love them and support them in all they do. I may not like some things but they will never have to doubt my love for them.17CDC782-B2B7-4571-9385-0DD5C62B8848

The Lord knows and sees each one of us and we all make and will make  some not-so-good decisions at times and mistakes, etc. Still, He loves us like no other and He will always be there for us. May we never doubt His Love for us. Trust Him.

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