Family Loss

Just this past week, my last living Aunt passed away. No more Aunts or Uncles left for me on my side of the family. The next generation arises to the fold in this family, knowing death will take each one of us at a time. It is an odd concept of thinking but here we are.

2c428036-3d43-4f83-b910-b56f01bd07f4-4492-0000010337aa0e55I have had my fair share of family issues in the death of my parents and the estate. Total greed and usually there is just one member or two, as a small gang, to cause strife, discord and feel the need to have one more penny than the others. It is crazy. Or are they crazy? The greed of money is the root of all evil.  Do they think we don’t see their patterns and actions?f5792309-1fb0-4ab9-a0b6-9f1bb63c0141-4492-000001031015c1c7

As I watched and listened to my cousins as they bury their mother, my favorite Aunt, I see the discord within the troops already and the one in my history of hell, raising their ugly head already to get that penny felt due to them. I just shake my head of their lack of respect and gall to feel entitlement. Some just love drama.

9BB5945B-B1CC-4538-B17F-606EADDB7A77

I am thankful that my head is not on the chopping block this time over of the estate but will, without a doubt, be called upon for support and questions. If so, I will be accused of breathing yet again by this one in particular who has no business within theirs. Just because!  Dealing with an estate is a hard job and sometimes hell as greedy people, sadly family, attack verbally, spread lies and rumors.

The Lord will fight my battles. I have had to hold tight to that Bible verse.

I am sure they do not tell of what they have done or said but are readily open to spread verbal garbage to others. Another Bible verse, you will know them by their fruit. 54175218-4ec8-45e7-96c6-179e86aaef82-4492-00000104e8de6653Those that know them, know them. While others enjoy drama, too, and will believe the lies. Whatever. While it hurts to hear and to watch, I know the truth. Keep walking forward and do not lower yourself to their level. Onlookers will not be able to see which is the fool. Stand!

If and when you ever have to deal with an estate, be prepared and just watch and listen. They do not go without incident.  Just breathe!  Trust the Lord and put your faith in His Word and know He sees all and knows all.

E0EFE30C-8BEE-45A3-9F00-5908E55222FE

To those that have dealt with an estate, did you experience issues?

 

It Comes In 3’s

0294DFE6-AADA-46DB-ACC4-7FCF0367B23EAll of my life I have heard that things, whether it be appliances breaking down and deaths or other things, too, comes in threes.  I felt yesterday that this is all about to hit. While I brace myself, I also fight fear of the unknown.  The third one?

My Aunt is near death and hanging on for dear life, it is just not her time yet.  Our sweet fifteen year old dog has been going down hill but this past month, more so and now another cancer spot on her tongue.  Everything is going to hit at once.  The grief ahead right now slaps one cheek and the other as I wait for a big fisted hit in the nose. BAM!

Knowing another day has passed and my dear Aunt remains in a hospital bed in an induced sleep to keep her pain at bay, with nothing more to do for her, we wait.

Yesterday with confirmation from our veterinarian, finding out our four-legged baby is dealing with this issue once again.  I do not feel that another surgery should take place but my husband probably would. Her legs are failing her, she is in pain but …

While I think I have him convinced, I feel like a heartless person knowing he will have anger toward me, which is typical of grief.  I do not want this sweet dog to suffer anymore although my heart will break and tears will flow, too. I pray that she falls into a deep sleep as my Aunt will do and be pain free before we go for the dreaded appointment on Saturday.

In knowing of these two, who is the third?  That is when fear sets in with me.  No matter, I cannot dwell on the third and hope it all passes and we get through this period.

E24597A1-07D1-474E-95F3-E67B84783C01I find it strange that I have heard that saying all my life, seeing it happen and how there is a heaviness that hovers.  I am sure you have heard of this, too.  It causes anxiety in me and I do not like it.  I have dealt with enough fear in life that today I want to dismiss this thought of the doom and gloom.  So BAM!  If all these years, it was all bad, let’s turn that around and usher the good in instead. DDC5895D-E390-4852-9B27-AC855671E447

Whatever today holds, tomorrow or the next, my faith BAE116EC-985F-43FB-9231-069BA71D4A62and trust must be in the Lord and whatever comes before me, I face it with Him and because of Him, I can make it.

I may never see my Aunt again here on this earth again but in Heaven, I will.

While I give my sweet dog her space today as I clean as she rests, I tell her how pretty she is, I love her and all that dog talk we do as owners. They know us.  They are pretty smart.  I believe she is ready to go.

To grieve means we loved. ❤️