Crazy Cats

I have always had a pet, whether it be a cat or a bird growing up. Then it all happened again as an adult, a cat and a bird.

One cat was not enough though, as I found two were better than one. It’s true, they have each other to play, sleep and aggravate each other.

It is when two turns into eight, I about lost it, especially when my husband had to move over to take care of his mother. I was feeding eight cats morning, noon and night it felt like. Don’t get me going on the litter boxes, that’s just a load of crap.

I did this for several months, which took up a lot of my time. They knew I was home from work or it was time for bed, as they knew that meant a treat or food. Looking down and seeing all those eyes and feet was overwhelming.

Bedtime was great. They all found their little favorite place and settled in. When they are inside at night, they did not roam or cause havoc, it was a safe place for them. I was and still amazed at their obedience. Every now and then, there is one that needs attention.

These cats, that started at two, then eight, each have a story and different personalities. The six came from the previous owners that moved and left them. They would visit but when it came to complete abandonment, they adopted us. In return, we adopted them.

Taking them to the vet, I usually make a day of it, since we live close. It’s two by two, four times. The vet loves us, as the tab builds for each one.

With the responsibility falling on my shoulder, I had to make a decision of moving a couple of them to a no-kill shelter. It was hard. I felt like a failure but I had to do so. One has already been adopted out while the other still has his bully attitude and will remain in the shelter a little longer.

Now I have five. Yes, I lost another one. One of my original two. She had been sick and lost use of her back legs, which meant she had to have personal hygiene care. Knowing at the end, she and I were both miserable, I made one last trip to the vet with her, holding her until the end. No animal should suffer and be in quiet pain.

Now the five. The one original I had with the one I lost, his personality changed. Usually, he was her companion and best buddies, which is why we had them. He became like a different cat and no longer aloof but one that needed attention. Cats know and grieve, too. He is often by my side, helps me go to the bathroom, he knows my every turn. He has buddied up with the other cats, well two of them. The other two are old, cranky and set in their ways. Still, he has been a delightful cat. Most are.

My youngest, found on the side of the road as a kitten with broken pelvis was cared for and doing great. She will eat some and get a burst of energy. So funny.

No matter what they do or not do, they have their own way of stealing my heart. Sometimes I just laugh and usually say, you Crazy Cats, on a daily basis, as I wait for their beckon call to go in, out or be held. I have two that stay in, the other adopted cats have trained me to open doors.

No matter, I have learned them and they have learned me. We manage and while they bring joy and work, I love each one.

No more crazy cats though, I need a life.

It’s Us

It’s Us!

Not You, it’s You and Not Me, it’s Me. It’s Us.

This may not make sense to anyone but me. I have come a far distance and it feels good and feels right. Time does make a difference. Healing within and understanding of oneself is liberating. Is my life perfect and have it all together? Not a chance.

It is knowing I am not where I once was and I am still evolving.

One day, which is the next step, I will see my former therapist of four years. Her leaving due to medical reasons and not formally telling me, I was at a loss, her office sign is down and is no more, in 2018. My world was rocked off its axis.

Dealing with abandonment prior to her leave, then experiencing full-blown abandonment, as a true, full-blown assignment, my heart was broken. Anger ripped my insides up while tears flowed on the outside. The question I repeatedly said, was one word, WHY?

Of course, it was medical but why not personally touch base. This ‘why’ screamed within me for years.

It has since silenced. It’s not that important anymore. How is that? I still don’t know the why. There’s a peace and I like it.

Time does in fact heal. Forgiveness of the other but also of oneself is freedom, no matter what situation.

All the negative feelings and thoughts have subsided and it is kind of shocking. How will I react when we do meet while shopping or in public I often wonder.

It would be nice to see her and hug her. I’m forever thankful for our times together years ago but I want this to be a coming together somehow on the same ground level as friends. Not her as my therapist or me as her client. That is no more. It’s Us. Funny, I think she would understand this of me, as she was good like that.

That’s the next step, our running into each other. I would like that.

Again, Time!

The Third

I wait somewhat patiently, although anxiously.

In all of my life, which is many years, now being a senior citizen, I have always heard the line, “it comes in threes.” This could be appliances breakdown, financial crisis, or deaths usually. No doubt you have heard and experienced such saying.

The stroke of anticipation or perhaps fear knowing this does hold true, for the most part. Or have I/we just count to three and move on to reset the mode?

This past week, I had a bout with irregular heartbeat, which can cause some disturbance with the body, of course, but mentally. Am I going to die? Is this the one that will carry me onto Glory? Im still here. Shew!

Prior to this, my sweet neighbor passed on Monday morning. Her death was expected in time but it became a reality. It placed some sadness on our small, dead end street between neighbors.

Then on Friday morning, my tall trooper of a neighbor with many medical issues passed away from a heart attack, as he was beginning his day.

Within these five days, two deaths. Both houses are my view from my chair, as I write. How odd is that? Too close for comfort, now that grief has expanded.

Now if I die, this is a perfect triangle. How morbid thinking, I know, but my heart could have went haywire on me more-so to cause death. Am I number three, yet?

How odd, this is all so close. Both neighbors are grieving. Hopefully, I will be a strong anchor for them in the days ahead by being a good neighbor but praying for them of their comings and their goings or the emotions that emerge behind closed doors.

If all comes in threes, well number three is soon to come. It could be anyone. It could be anytime.

Death. It happens to us all, at some point. Until, please live and live life and take care of you. When the time comes, have no regrets. Live your best life now.

Be Blessed.

Matthew 5:4
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”