Grace

Wrong Words

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Here I am, beating myself up over words spoken, jokingly, but truth.

Have you ever said something and regret later? Surely I am not alone. Please tell me I am not alone. You are not alone.

Thinking after the words exploded from my mouth, I regretted. Yes, it was funny. Yes, it was and is truth. Still, it should have remained closed lipped, but didn’t.

I have learned a lot about forgiveness through the years, of forgiving others that have hurt me. I have also caught onto the fact of forgiving myself. That is a big step, not being self-centered, but necessary.

Slowly, it is sinking in. I was wrong. I learned a lesson today, and I will never repeat what I said, even though I think it. This is my funny, sarcastic comment that should remain within.

Forgive others. Forgive yourself.

“It is just as necessary to forgive ourselves as it is to forgive others, and the principal reason why forgiveness seemed so difficult is because we have neglected to forgive ourselves.” Christian D. Larson

Funnel of His Love

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There are times in life, we are uncertain of many given moments, but we hold on even when we feel weak and hopeless. I have had my share of ups and downs, as I am sure you can nod your head in agreement.

We fall and fail but we get back up and try again. Life happens. Forgiveness and unforgiveness is a battle at times until we realize forgiveness is best in order to move forward. So much in life is learning of our true self.

Where we are weak and where we are strong, we learn sometimes the hard ways. A balance of our daily walk, holding our head up when possibly feeling down. We each struggle at times. Thankfully, we have joy many times.

Through it all, it is knowing the One who holds your hand, knows all about you, the good and the bad but still loves you. He sees you.

As I pondered my day and listened to someone sharing God’s Love, then praying, I just lifted my hands high and as I looked up at them, it was like a funnel. Saying, Oh Lord let Your Love funnel into me. I need you more today than I needed yesterday.

Maybe this was or is just for me but maybe you reading this, you also need His Love to funnel into you. He’s there and He sees you.

Be Blessed

It’s Us

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It’s Us!

Not You, it’s You and Not Me, it’s Me. It’s Us.

This may not make sense to anyone but me. I have come a far distance and it feels good and feels right. Time does make a difference. Healing within and understanding of oneself is liberating. Is my life perfect and have it all together? Not a chance.

It is knowing I am not where I once was and I am still evolving.

One day, which is the next step, I will see my former therapist of four years. Her leaving due to medical reasons and not formally telling me, I was at a loss, her office sign is down and is no more, in 2018. My world was rocked off its axis.

Dealing with abandonment prior to her leave, then experiencing full-blown abandonment, as a true, full-blown assignment, my heart was broken. Anger ripped my insides up while tears flowed on the outside. The question I repeatedly said, was one word, WHY?

Of course, it was medical but why not personally touch base. This ‘why’ screamed within me for years.

It has since silenced. It’s not that important anymore. How is that? I still don’t know the why. There’s a peace and I like it.

Time does in fact heal. Forgiveness of the other but also of oneself is freedom, no matter what situation.

All the negative feelings and thoughts have subsided and it is kind of shocking. How will I react when we do meet while shopping or in public I often wonder.

It would be nice to see her and hug her. I’m forever thankful for our times together years ago but I want this to be a coming together somehow on the same ground level as friends. Not her as my therapist or me as her client. That is no more. It’s Us. Funny, I think she would understand this of me, as she was good like that.

That’s the next step, our running into each other. I would like that.

Again, Time!