Sometimes in life, there is no closure.

With no closure, whether it is through death or an ending of a relationship, it leaves a gaping hole, a void in the heart, with questions lingering of the one left that cares and loves so very much.

Some days are good and some days are not.

Only time can heal or ease the pain, which seems endless, as stages of grief grips the emotions and heart within.

How do you deal with grief?



“Getting emotional closure means that you can “close the book” on your situation and its associated pain. You can put that book of pain on the shelf and you will no longer have to take it down and read from it on a daily basis.” (Dr. Phil, How to Get Emotional Closure, June 9, 2004)

“Grief is the psychological-emotional experience following a loss of any kind (relationship, status, job, house, game, income, etc.).” (Dr. Will Meek, Psychology Today column, Note to Self)

“People with different attachment styles are likely to grieve and express themselves in different ways after a significant loss.” (Hal Shorey, Ph.D., Attachment Styles and Reactions to Grief and Loss, Psychology Today)


“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)


Good Isolation

E0F55AC4-B2CE-4AB6-82AF-28767BC86EA7Lord, what is happening?

For years upon years, I had been so hurt, accused, lied about and lied to, betrayed, and it came to a point that I totally shut down, became a hermit, isolated myself besides going to work.

I had always been a strong, independent individual because I had to be but it came to a point, I doubted my very being.  Who am I?  Maybe I am bad and everything said about me was true, but I tried and did what I felt what was right in God’s eyes.  Realizing Satan was successful in his plan to isolate me, and I was too weak to fight.

I quit a lot of social events, made excuse after excuse of not attending church, changed jobs because of stress of the one and with that it was as if I was walking blindly into the new job, questioning that, too.  With that move, it was a God thing!

So many things started to line up and I felt I was getting stronger but needed a push, which was when I started with my counselor.  I did not make that decision in haste but with prayer, research of many and of her and more prayer.

DF52497E-40A8-4AD2-8244-DBDFA6DC6148As we discussed and as time went on, my isolation became less and it was nice to feel life once again. The door of the dark despair of isolation was opened.

Here I am again though but a different type of isolation.670EF6A5-2313-471C-A160-172493557C6F

Now, it seems like everyone is leaving me.  Two of my best friends moved out of state.  Now who am I going to meet for lunch or shop with?  My counselor took a leave of absence and may or may not return so I really feel lost, my office moves in an office area of being off the beaten path in a large building and seeing nobody for hours on end and not to forget, there are no windows.  Where is everyone?

56CB1D04-D5BC-4388-BC37-71CADB88EE5CLeaving work one night, yes at night because I am so alone in there and no windows, I lose track of time.  I realized I am yet again isolated.  It kind of stopped me in my tracks, questioning the Lord what is up with this.

I get a grip and my wings start to flutter from being in a cocoon for so long and yet I feel as though I am back in it, kicking and pushing through the emotions and fear but yet there is peace.

Sometimes I feel we are alone to put our focus totally on the Lord, and I understand that and I am doing just that although I fail.   What is the purpose of this aloneness and walking alone?  There a lost, blind feeling in my steps right now.

FBFA9104-AE45-4C8C-9E75-2E2D27F3F122Perhaps He is carrying me yet again.  I have to hope for just that as I did years ago.

I will not give up and if you are in this journey, too, don’t give up.  He knows who you are (I am) and He knows where you are (I am) going.   There is hope.  Trust Him.

Sometimes it is easier said than done.

Seasons of being alone and isolated can actually bring about a lot of spiritual growth.  I welcome that.


Feels Like Forever

Time has passed and I have not talked to you.  So many times I think of you and wonder what it is like for you now.  What are you doing?  How are you?  The questions roll over and over, day after day in my mind.  You are missed! 62E5DB0E-AE92-4FBB-8FA5-9995B07D3C4D
While the time has been just a few weeks, it feels like a year.  I so miss you and I miss talking to you.  Do you ever think of me?  Do you ever wonder what it is like for me, what I am doing or how I am?
Grief has a way to digging into our heart and thoughts and feelings of our relationship that is of non-existence, which makes me sad.  Time was devoted and now there is none. 271E1CDA-1BFE-4760-91A3-AF632A6781C3
My mind can go to the negative quickly, as I am dead to you now, but I choose not to do that.  I try anyway.  Whether you like it or not, I was a part of your life.  Many times I expressed my heart and feelings to you, you know I care.  I still do.
I am healing slowly and getting through the raw feelings of being abandoned, yet again.  The tears are less and the smiles are upon my face more and I accept a new normal to my usual routine of life.
74E7FA61-57BF-4538-8E69-54FA18A396D1The void is still present but being filled and I am allowing just that.
Grief, whether in death or in real-life losses, it is still grief.
Take one day at a time.  Wipe the tears, cherish the memories and go forward.
You have to!