New Year’s Resolutions

I do not make New Year’s Resolutions! Do you? C3FF064F-1E9F-4E95-9DAF-0B9A08B2A087

I have made plenty in the past and the majority, I failed. In that, making me feel like a loser, with the negative thoughts I already had of myself back then, which were confirmed and there you have it. Doomed for the rest of the year. I know that’s silly and not true, but I do not make resolutions for that reason.

How many will join a gym membership and be all gung-ho about going in the month of January and some will trickle into February and just maybe some will continue thereafter. Been there, done that and I have the t-shirt. If 396A4954-B400-4778-BB31-86C43D1278B8having and maintaining a monthly membership, because I just might want to go and have good intentions, I never darken the door. Month after month seeing that charge, while a low amount, it still is deducted from my banking account with no productive results. Now it is the new year and my reasoning for not going, as my friend said it the other day, is that it will be too crowded because of the newbies. Of course, I would basically fall into that group now. So, I’ll wait. Perfect excuse.

If I made a resolution last night to not eat anything sweet, I would have already lost, first day of January. There’s going to be some grouchy people in a few days, of no sweets.

Plan to do and be better than last year. Set some goals and work toward them while not being so hard on yourself. Do your best and take care of yourself.

Expect 2020 to be the best year ever and just keep moving forward.

Maybe I will see you at the gym. 😉 I am going!

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https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2019/01/instead-of-a-resolution-try-making-a-micro-change/

I Don’t Care!

Well, I do but not as much.2AD3C654-55F5-45B9-BAB1-6586A33A6257

Always I would watch and listen to people and they have their opinions, thoughts or no filter on what was said. They could care less what you thought or what I thought, giving no time to share. Often, I would wonder or want that and question how do they do that, what gives?

My husband was one. Early on in our relationship, he said he did not care what others thought. Proved to be true.

While at times this would be a nice quality, I am glad that I am somewhat quiet and reserved. What is said, is said and cannot be taken back. A few words can destroy a relationship forever. I know that to be fact. Forgiveness is required but the heart will never heal.

Thinking of what I just did for me, I had to come to the conclusion that I don’t care. I am trying to take care of me. I am not a small, petite older woman. I am tall and have a large bone structure and there is nothing wrong with that.

Over the extent of my marriage, a not so happy one, but through the emotional garbage and emotional eating, I gained over one-hundred and fifteen pounds. Not good.

3C4E3597-6B07-4E85-8E34-06C6C41BD9CDThe good news is that I have lost eighty-five of it. Yay me! I am at the weight before having my second child. I walk a lot, watch my food intake and guzzle water often. I am trying. I have been in counseling the last five years to tend to my wellbeing in all areas. This endeavor has not been easy and at times, cookies and milk would sure solve all of my problems, which is not true, of course.

Walking has helped me with stress and anxiety. I found that to be very helpful after counseling sessions a year or so ago, after meeting with my former counselor. As much as I love and miss her, she could really hit some buttons. No regrets.

Anyway, walking is boring especially if I am by myself, although I have my earbuds in listening to either Christian music or podcasts, all to help and encourage me. I need to move so I bought myself a nice bike. 20C42D68-4A3B-498A-8404-3037C58C4AAB

I haven’t had a bike for years and never felt comfortable riding when I did due to my weight and spread of my hips swallowing the seat.  The thought of what others thought riding behind me whether they be walking, riding, or driving is somewhat unnerving to me and my desire to quit and hide has haunted me.  A life-long fear of my thoughts of what others see, think or say.

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That is where I don’t care or at least try to not care.  I need to switch it up from walking and I chose this.  My riding until I get my bearings and hard nosed will go forth.  How else do I or any other heavyweight person lose the weight and seek self-care, if not getting out there to try and not care.

Some people are just rude.  No doubt there is not one person that does not want an area or more different on their body.  We all have insecurities.

This past year I have shrugged my shoulders up so much as to the I don’t care attitude and I like it.  As my mother used to say, sweep around your door.

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I am taking care of me, I recommend you do the same.  It has taken me way too long, many counseling sessions and prayers to get to this point.  I have fought to get to this point. The Lord has more in store for me, for you and each one of us before we die.  Let’s make the most of it.

So, shrug those shoulders and say, I don’t care.

Quotes

  • “The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.”
  • “One of the greatest mental freedoms is truly not caring what anyone else thinks of you.”
  • “What God knows about me is more important than what others think about me.”
  • “Until we care more about what God thinks than what other people think we are never truly free.” Christine Caine
  • “You are not what others think you are. You are what God knows you are.”

https://biblereasons.com/caring-what-others-think/