There are moments in life that happen, whether expected or unexpected, and your physical body and emotions cannot carry anymore. You need a break, you need rest.
These moments of time spent and caring for yourself to take time to withdraw, makes the mental toll on one also. Now there are the lies we hear within that we are lazy.
Years, I let that lie heap upon me due to my situation. It was not until I told my counselor years ago, and she gave me the gift of knowing it was okay to nap, to rest. I was exhausted from it all. Again, a free gift that meant the world to me, as it lifted a load off of me and gave me a freedom.
Now, as a new chapter emerges in my life and family situation, I have had to endure my time with one that drained me before. While I can limit my time and understand that I can leave, it helps. I have noticed though, within me, that the day after of spending any amount of time with this one, I am exhausted yet again. It is like I need to recharge until the next expected time I need to be present.
This is such a draining on me and so pattern-like that I want no more. Reminding myself… Just a little bit longer, as I am almost at the finish line.
Then I can walk away. You drain me.
I do not make New Year’s Resolutions! Do you?
I have made plenty in the past and the majority, I failed. In that, making me feel like a loser, with the negative thoughts I already had of myself back then, which were confirmed and there you have it. Doomed for the rest of the year. I know that’s silly and not true, but I do not make resolutions for that reason.
How many will join a gym membership and be all gung-ho about going in the month of January and some will trickle into February and just maybe some will continue thereafter. Been there, done that and I have the t-shirt. If having and maintaining a monthly membership, because I just might want to go and have good intentions, I never darken the door. Month after month seeing that charge, while a low amount, it still is deducted from my banking account with no productive results. Now it is the new year and my reasoning for not going, as my friend said it the other day, is that it will be too crowded because of the newbies. Of course, I would basically fall into that group now. So, I’ll wait. Perfect excuse.
If I made a resolution last night to not eat anything sweet, I would have already lost, first day of January. There’s going to be some grouchy people in a few days, of no sweets.
Plan to do and be better than last year. Set some goals and work toward them while not being so hard on yourself. Do your best and take care of yourself.
Expect 2020 to be the best year ever and just keep moving forward.
Maybe I will see you at the gym. 😉 I am going!