Invalidation

312E6086-FA19-47FD-999C-B90D852D5941Have you ever thought, just perhaps you are making headway and then the bottom falls out?

Being full of hope and excited about a dream and a goal that is beginning to take shape and you make a mistake, realizing afterward, by sharing and shot down with negativity. It was my own fault to even share and now kicking myself, as I pondered the words and unsure how to digest but also fighting to not give up. Through the night, tossing and turning, I realized just the degree of invalidation received F1975275-42B4-4FC1-BD46-5D0052528116from one that usually is supportive. I think that is what shocks me more. What gives? Is it that I just need to accept and move on, and then not expressing how insensitive it was, all of which I did. Now clinching my jaw in despair working through the chaos within, choking back my tears.

It is the after thoughts, when it is too late to express by being shocked and not wanting to hurt their feelings. I should have replied, “Thanks for your invalidation.”

I am reminded, we should not share our dreams and our goals with another, as it is not their dreams and goals, for this very reason. Got it!

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Psalm 20:4 “May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.” Psalm 33:11 “But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” Psalm 37:4-5 “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Little Words

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Words can lift one up or they can bring one down.  Actually, some words can last a lifetime that will never go away, always popping up to remind just how bad of a person one might be. Some unnecessary, rude comments can cut so bad that the heart will never heal. A knife in the back would heal quicker.

It is when these words or comments come and never seem to leave, often slapping your face with the lies and thoughts and feelings of others. As hard as it is, you must not dwell there and must forgive for your own sake and sanity. Trust that the Lord heard and knows the one(s) that spoke and He knows about this hurt and pain within.

At times, it is right to speak up but for the most part, trust Him to fight your battles. Why allow their words to cause you to go ballistic and both sides appear foolish, not solving a thing but causing more harm.

Forgiveness is a must. Easy? No! Will that happen overnight? No, probably not. Will it take years? Possibly. Forgiveness is for you to move forward. It’s freeing.

Some kind words can carry another for days when 878C61CA-5D18-425B-B68F-93A892AC3FECeverything seems to be falling apart. Even a kind smile with no words spoken. Behind the masks these days, the smiles are not as evident but the eyes show care and concern, so accept them and return. Be kind.

Isn’t it nice to hear some of these phrases: I am proud of you, I am so glad you are in my life, You bless my life by being in it, I have faith in you and these are just a few. People are feeling hopeless more than ever nowadays, whether a child or up to an adult with or without degrees after their name as a professional. We all need encouragement.

At times life is just at a standstill. A timely word of encouragement will push one forward and an untimely, unnecessary word or comment can sometimes put one on the brink of giving up.

What do you want to be remembered for, to be kind or 9BBA102D-7862-44A3-B664-839B44E8097Bindifferent to rude? Let’s lift one another up instead of tearing down or leaving a moment when a kind word would be benefited to cause another to smile and gain hope.

In my own experience, I have had words almost kill me, actually they did within relationships, sadly of family members. This past year or so, if just a few words of encouragement from someone special was said in a written note as a reply, such as ‘I am proud of you,’ it would have meant the world to me. Of course, it was not expressed and my heart broke. I needed that hope.

974E6639-3F4E-480C-994A-F64404B0A84EOther times though and thankfully, words were said or in a written form that were burned within my mind and heart that I hold onto to keep hope alive and my steps moving forward to goals and dreams. Those little words of encouragement here and there are like gold. Gold is rare to find, sifting through the muck and sometimes life is trudging through the muck and then one day, a glimpse of gold is found, there is hope to keep going.

We have a choice of lifting up or tearing down.

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