Walking tonight with my earbuds in listening to a Christian radio station, as I do when walking alone, I am also alone in my thoughts and prayers. So many of the songs, I could have written myself. Of course, the thought, why didn’t I write that song, as I could be rich crosses my mind but I continue walking remembering all the heartache, the sadness, loneliness and on and on. 
The words are within in my heart but not on paper. Oh how He knows my name, how He lifts me up and will never let me down. If we take time, I bet each of us can write a song of the test and trials we have each gone through. Thankfully the music artists have done just that so we can listen to and feel deep within. Hope is knowing we are not alone and through each song, somebody experienced pain to get there. Realize you have words within. While they may not make the billboard or any further than your thoughts, they are your words and the Lord hears and understands them.
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I’m Tough!
With the past Labor Day holiday, it throws off my counseling appointment, which is on Monday. Oh how I do not need to miss an appointment as things in life feel so overwhelming.
While I enter my counselors office, sit on her bright-colored loveseat with the door shut, of course, I can feel safe. While not always easy, I know I have come a long way with her help. I trust her although at times I must deal with the mental lies that are thrown at me that she, too, will hurt me. I have voiced that to her as in many things that only her and God know. That’s trust. With that, Satan knows how to get my goat due to that fact. Amazingly, I find that she is aware, it seems of my body posture, facial movements and my breathing, where I do not. Sometimes I am just amazed. Most of all thankful to have her in my life.
Making my appointment on her normal day off, her suggestion, I felt bad doing so. Unbeknownst to her or to me, she became ill prior to my appointment, she had to cancel, so no session.
Even before, contemplating of cancellating myself, I thought to myself that I can make it to the next Monday. Well, now I will. Thinking to myself, I’m tough.
In all actuality, I am. I have been through the years. What’s a few more days? I have been through hell, which some have experienced much worse than myself but my journey holds its own. Some would run or cower with what I’ve dealt with but it was what I have been given to deal with. I’m still here, although worn and battle scars within.
Even so, while not to the expertise that my counselor has taught me, it was by my faith in God and what knowledge I had to grasp, also gut feelings. By the Grace of God, He has lead me, directed me and kept me.
When I get down and out and that old depression sneaks in to rip my confidence apart and my faith, I have to remember I am tough. Tomorrow is another day.
No matter what we go through, the important thing to remember is that you go through. We are not promised a life free of problems but are told that He will not leave us or forsake us, we can call upon Him.
Search the scriptures and pour yourself into His Word and let Him pour His Love into you. I’m writing this to remind myself.
I’m tough but odds are, you are tough, too! We just don’t feel it sometimes.
Trust Him!
Coffee First!
Shhhhh….
Don’t talk to me this morning, I’m not ready yet. To deal with your humming or your morning voice.
Just let me be and pour my coffee to drink in solitude so I can get my act together without yours in my way.
No promises about later, I may need another cup. Thank goodness, I don’t drink anything stronger than this.
Years of unhappiness as we are strangers under one roof, other wives would run screaming, but here we are. 
Another day, another year, I wonder how much coffee I have had to drink.
Pour me another cup of Joe!
Just Pondering... 