Take Away

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Day by day, little by little, a bit here and a bit there many things are no longer a part of our lives.

Our normal has been disrupted and the new normal is not comfortable and never will be comfortable.

As we drive past parking lots now empty, especially the ones that are always packed, I find it difficult to comprehend, thinking how odd for that to be possible. My mind knowing all along what is happening but everyday seems like a Sunday, with everything closed. Everything that we have known has changed. I’m old and feeling discombobulated and I can only imagine what the younger generation feels, although some are not taking this COVID19 very serious. I know I am feeling somewhat stripped of more and more each day, as they are taken away. A19CDF5D-0D26-4222-8DF3-E12D0B1CAE2F

Just yesterday, I had two events canceled that I would attend, within thirty minutes of each other. One was in April, which did not surprise me but the other was at the end of May.  Honestly, I found myself angry with all of this happening. Now what?

Fear of one another, wondering if we will get or pass on germs. A disconnect physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

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I noticed my elderly neighbor answer the door to her best friend. Just watching to see how they handled this situation, knowing their routine is off and of loneliness no doubt. The door was not opened immediately, which surprised me in a way but then I wondered if she was afraid to open it. Finally, the door was opened and my neighbor stood on one side of the glass storm door and her friend on the other. They were protecting one another. How sad though to be that close, to miss one another’s company and glass separates the normal contact of one another. No hug was made, no physical touch of comfort to ease each other’s fear and anxiety. 

9C790675-106E-4BEE-91D7-E0BC81576DCCThe distancing between each of us, family, friends, co-workers and each one, is too far apart, although needed right now. It’s like when we put up walls to keep people out of our lives from being hurt, but we are now basically building walls between each of us to avoid contact. Perhaps feeling as though we are lost in a maze. I wonder after this month and hopefully that is enough time, will we be programmed to still limit connection, hesitant to reach out to one another. 

Today is today, tomorrow will be just another day and each one will add up. Yesterday, I had no motivation and unsure about today. I don’t feel depressed although I know it would be easy to be so, but I know anxiety still creeps up on me. How about you?

So, as we have today and each tomorrow will come, let’s make them as best as we can. It is okay to rest, as we recognize that what we are experiencing is not normal and we are not going to feel normal. Still, we will get through this, one day at a time.

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STAY WELL

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40 Beautiful Bible Verses for When Stress & Anxiety Feel Overwhelming

Wavelengths

BREAKER, BREAKER…

Come in please!

Anybody there?

Do you hear me?

BREAKER, BREAKER…

Hello?56D6CEAE-4603-4D56-A93B-C65078A46598

Okay, I am alone, nobody is there. No answer was received as I go forward on my own. Here I go! What’s new though, I am always going forward, always on my own. No difference now.

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This is exactly what it feels like in a not-so-normal marriage for one reason or another. Knowing that the frequency of wavelengths between us two, are with no hope in sight. No need for hope at this point. The ride in life is alone and has felt alone and always will be alone.3B1BBC5C-32F5-45F7-80E1-F2446D40BD41

To give you some direction, if on the same radio frequency, even though you are at a standstill but also as you move forward, at a slow pace. Keep going! No doubt at some point, you felt lost on your route in this relationship by trying all sorts of tricks and talks to re-route the trip together but to no avail.AAF4DB0B-2BA1-40B5-9869-DBE33F7DE9CE

As you come to the fork in the road, deciding which direction, you may have just stopped there not knowing what to do. Perhaps you started down one way and notice it was going nowhere. Realizing finally after much displeasure, discontentment and the death of a marriage, you recalculate and the u-turn was made.

Now as you venture new territory, caring for yourself and not feeling so alone, life begins to blossom just as the spring is upon us. There is hope and a flicker of joy for more. You can do this in many ways, just start.

While maintaining a neutral ride at this time, this is when you gain ground and strength within. Do some research, join support groups either on Facebook or in your community and at a church. Get familiar with what is available, such as counseling, for you to move forward and find the happiness you know you deserve. This is a map of where you want to go and desire, as life is not meant to be stuck in a rut, spinning your wheels and standing alone.A6D54C3A-4E21-48BF-AED8-702332840662It’s time to get a tuneup and be ready for more. You deserve more. If you have done all that you could do to rectify the issue and no answer received, over and over again, please encourage yourself and know your worth in order to keep moving forward.

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BREAKER, BREAKER

Come in please!

Anybody there?

Somebody there to hear me, see me and love me?

BREAKER, BREAKER

I am here, I want to live and enjoy my life.

One day, I’ll be able to say OVER AND OUT

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Check out these resources: 

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BF2562B0-2E6E-439A-ACBA-94B3A358AAF6      E3A1CA3E-34C4-4CE6-9AE1-9FD20D76928F

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Most importantly, the Lord knows your name

and He knows where you are in your journey.  

Trust Him! 

 

If I Could Sing

3C6D8BA3-C2EB-4123-95A5-15FACDDA33ECTonight, in between laundry and cleaning around the house, I noticed the movie, The Help, was on so it played in the background. I have seen this numerous times, I also have the CD and have played the song I mention over and over. I tend to do that until I get through a period that I am dealing with and to grasp the meaning, feel the pain and heal little by little.

818FE0D1-F58D-4B0C-851B-B4C07E33557FI finally stopped to finish watching the end of the movie, which brought me back to sitting in the movie theater watching this movie with my sister. Usually, the audience leaves when the words ‘The End’ show on the screen and go on their merry way, as we were doing so, too.

As we walked toward the exit in line with a room full of people, the lyrics of the song playing caught my attention and hit me deep within. I sat down and just cried through the song, as if the room was empty and this song was just for me. At that time in my life, it was.

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Still, I cried tonight because I am living proof and each word of how this song resonates with me. If I were to ever sing a song of my testimony, this would be the one. To sing, to write, to tell where I was, where I am and knowing where I am going would be to give hope.

It has has been a long, long journey but in the midst of what I have gone through and the words in the lyrics, I am ready to carry on. Oh Lord, lead and direct me.

A91A6542-2595-4F12-AF26-8F9B56B2A5D9In case you are reading my blog and read through the lyrics and the words hit your heart and feel the pain as it did with me of many years, just know there is HOPE.  In my time of feeling totally alone and emotionally distraught, I knew deep down that the Lord knew my name and He knew where I was. I had to hold onto those words and say often. I am living proof that I made it through. You can, too!  Trust Him.

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Read the lyrics, my testimony.
I’M LIVING PROOF 

It’s gonna be a long long journey
It’s gonna be an uphill climb
It’s gonna be tough fight
It’s gonna be some lonely nights
But I am ready to carry on
I am so glad the worst is over (’cause almost took me out)
I can start living now
I feel like I can do anything
And finally I am not afraid to breathe

Anything you say to me
And everything you do
You can’t deny the truth
‘Cause I am the living proof
So many don’t survive
They just don’t make it through
But look at me
I am the living proof

Oh yes I am

Thinking about life’s been painful
Yes it was
Took a lot to learn how to smile
So now I am gonna talk to my people,
About the storm, about the storm
Oh so glad the worst is over
I can start flying now
My best days are right in front of me
Yeah and I am almost there
‘Cause now I am free

Anything you say to me
And everything you do
You can’t deny the truth
‘Cause I’m the living proof
So many don’t survive
They just don’t make it through
But look at me
I am the living proof

I know where I am going
Hey ’cause I know where I’ve been
I am gonna feel strong that’s showing
I am gonna keep going
That’s the way that I will

Anything you say to me
And everything you do
You can’t deny the truth

‘Cause I’m the living proof
So many those who fight
They just don’t make it through
But look at me hey yeah
I am the living proof

Nothing about my life has been easy
But nothing’s gonna keep me down
‘Cause I know a lot more today
Than I knew yesterday
So I am ready to carry on
Oh Lordie

 

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Damon E Thomas / Mary Blige / Harvey Jr. / Thomas Newman
The Living Proof lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group   2011