I wish I had wings like a dove.
I wish I had wings like a dove.
My extended time away from work is something I always look forward to at this time of the year, the holiday rush is over and time to do and go as I please but came to an abrupt halt the night of Christmas. Not what I want to deal with.
It is totally apparent moreso that we have inherited the head role of my husband’s family. Due to his parents’ ages and medical situation and inability to carry on the family meals with holidays, I now do each holiday meals and have for the past few years. I manage but yet again realized the other night that I would rather bake desserts than prepare meals. Always did and I think that is a trait of my paternal grandmother. Meal was complete and very little leftovers so I apparently succeeded or maybe did not make enough.
Then the call of a panicked brother-in-law, after leaving hours before, while we were having our Christmas time with our children at the end of the day, finally with the other family members gone. As we were unwrapping gifts, talking and laughing, my husband’s cell phone rings. We all held our breath thinking an accident of some sort with the aging parents, as we could vaguely hear the voice on the phone. Something was wrong.
No, it was about him. Sadly, we all relaxed knowing it was just him and typical drama. The younger brother, although in his late forties, who is often missing in action unless family dinners for Easter, Thanksgiving or Christmas. Plus enabled by his mother, I feel, which we already know will not help matters later.
The story has it, he was beat up and his eye is proof enough when kicked out of his rented space in a house by family members visiting, one just out of prison. He now needs a place to lay his head. Guess where? Our house. Just for one night I was told. I believed that like knowing the Readers Digest people are coming to my front door with millions of dollars in sweepstakes.
I brace myself and accept the fact we need to help. I do have a heart. Still, with this rough group of people, will they track him down and put us in danger. His life is a whole other world than we hold. One that we do not understand.
My time off. My mind thinking of what to do, how to get through this and knowing my time off will be spent dealing with this issue (his issues). I solve problems at my own time and expense. I do know…. he will not get a house key. If no key though, I am held hostage myself dealing with his schedule. Not going to happen. I become the bad person putting my foot down and setting boundaries. If I permit a key, will I ever feel safe in my own home? No! Now what to do?
This grown man who really just works with whatever comes his way, no real job, no real life, no real desire to do anything, is now stuck in our spare bedroom. I want to scream and I might yet. Get a job!
Maybe I forget my vacation days and just go back to work to be an example to him of just how this works. When I leave, you leave.
Some will never change. Enabling at its finest proven to be exactly what I expected.
Not here. Done. Get out. Get a job. Get a life.
Almost time! It’s almost time to partay. Plus, I’m to the point of it is what it is. Food is planned and will be made. Gifts are bought and wrapped. House is clean to the visible eye, I hope. Hey, we live here.
I look forward to the day although I will be glad it’s over. As most, exhaustion happens. Please tell me I am not alone. It has to be normal or is that just the setting on the dryer?
It will be fun and there will be laughter of my grown children home again to share along with my husbands family. It’s time to enjoy and be mindful of the moments and the day that is before me.
Year after year when this day comes, I know that memories of my own family comes into play and once again the need to shake the sadness of them all no more. Plus, I know all so well what is ahead.
They will all leave and go about their lives, the Christmas Hallmark movies go off the air for another year, the Christmas music that started way too early is now no more played and all the pretty lights and decorations come down and go back into storage. January is such a let down and so sad, always in my book.
For now, let’s celebrate the joy of Christmas and remember why we do, the birth of Jesus.