Sadness

A Glimpse

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This week, we were all saddened by the passing of a country music legend, Loretta Lynn. The best! I grew up listening to her, as many of us have.

Remembering back many, many years ago, I used to travel with a gospel music group on their old, Greyhound bus. The first time, before I got on the bus, I was so excited and said, ‘Now I know how Loretta Lynn feels.’

Of course, that was such a slight glimpse into her life but for a brief few seconds, I did. A moment never forgotten.

As a tribute to Loretta Lynn, I write this. When I was told by my son, she had died, tears came.

I did not know her personally or did she know me, but the fact that she was a part of my whole life, plus a link to my mom, hearing her music together, a link to the bus rides with my sweet friends, of those that are all no longer living, I was sad. A grief all balled up within that leaked out.

Rest In Peace, sweet Loretta.

Tears Fall

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Have you ever missed someone and just the mere thought brings tears? Of course, grief is real. Real for those that have passed especially but also those that are living but no longer in contact. Sounds easy enough, pick up the phone or send a text/email, doesn’t it? Not that easy.

I had a wonderful counselor years ago and for many years. Now time has passed but still there are moments I would love to talk to her. Times in my own uncertainty about whatever. I have to trust myself and my gut instincts. Plus, I respect her too much to bother her and I’d be out of line, but that does not stop the occasional tears. While she heard me and understood me more than my own family/friends, I know that this depth of sadness within will dissipate. What I need is within me. It’s okay to cry and to miss her. Deep down, I feel thankful and so blessed that she enriched my life with truth.

I am stronger than I think and feel, and I know these tears will dry. It will all be okay.

Those moments come for me and you probably. Trust yourself and know that you will get through this rough patch. Maybe rest is needed. It’s okay to rest.

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

“This is the shortest verse of the Bible. It says, “Jesus wept.” This means that nobody is promised against sorrow or pain.” John 11:35

https://biblereasons.com/missing-someone/

Digging in the Ditches

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I do not want to dig! I said, I do not want to dig in the ditches. It is too much.

As I scanned over my many writings, just the titles stir my emotions. How can I even go there without losing myself in the memories and feelings of those exact moments when things happened in my life and of my broken heart? I do not really know how to move past except to move through those times and put words in front of me as I feel and remember to share that you, too, can make it. Maybe it is for me to remember and to know where I have come from and what I went through to be right here at this right time, sharing my story.

A coach I had recently expressed all this as ‘digging in the ditches’ and so true, as it is digging through some bad, muddy times where I felt stuck. Throw me a lifeline please, I would cry out so many times under my breath, in my mind. Do you all not see I am struggling? Sadly, those words were on my mind while sitting on the church pew many times. I was invisible, I felt.

So, this is a start of my digging and thought I would test the waters. Unsure if I can dig tonight, as I write, but this is a start. How’s that?