A few years back I was asked if I thought all marriages were good ones, since I did not have one. I do try to look for the good and do try to think positive of marriages, as such, and of life. Although I am not in denial, there are many marriages struggling, as I know of many. Otherwise, it is not my business so unless you tell me or I see signs, I want to believe and wish the best for the couple(s), as in her own marriage.
The tone in the way she asked her question to me, I had to think that this hit a nerve and perhaps things were a little dicey at home. I don’t know and again, it was none of my business. I knew she would not tell me anyway but her comment and tone did raise my eyebrow and make me hesitate and to wonder.
Today, I talked with a friend about his month-long stay in Florida with his wife and how much fun they had together. They have been married a good forty-five years, maybe longer, which is pretty cool. He mentioned that on their drive back home, a long twelve-hour drive, they stopped several times, of course, but he said they sang a lot. How sweet, I thought. I just love this couple and to see them enjoying retirement together. Do I know they get frustrated with one another? Yes. Normal. Still, he calls her Honey and tells her he loves her and they seem so 
sweet together. I love that in them and so wish I had that. So I do think the good of them and in most couples.
As he told me of their singing, thinking of their marriage, I had to stop and wonder just what that would be like. I don’t want to be jealous or envious of his or other relationships, but I do desire to have such a sweet, caring, loving and fun relationship. Normal. Any woman or man would want this to share their life with together.
“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale—it’s a choice.”
—Fawn Weaver
Sometimes as I sit in restaurants, I look around and watch couples. Perhaps observing others just like mine, helping me to feel not so alone in this situation and the hopelessness felt. Maybe getting lost in their time together in order to forget mine.
It takes two to make the marriage work. When one is doing all the work, it is easy to give up after awhile. When the emotional connection is lost, it causes a sad, lonely existence in the relationship. Usually at this point, one or the other is just done.
Depending upon the circumstances, there could still be hope in making it all work and enjoying life together.
Marriage is to be with your best friend and enjoy life in all areas of life. Knowing full well that frustrations come, disappointments, etc., but if the two work together, they can walk hand in hand together no matter what comes their way.
So yes, I do think positive of marriage relationships and feel they do exist, which brings happiness. I have hope.
I was thinking back when my former counselor discussed my hesitancy for me to even go to the grocery store, I would put it off and cringed as I walk through the store hiding behind the grocery cart. My hiding became worse when my boys went off to college because I had no need to be in the outside world, other than work. Home to work, work to home and hibernate in my bedroom until the next morning. I knew I was depressed but I knew I was also unhappy in my situation and had been. The empty nest wrecked havoc on my life, more alone than ever, no joy and now no laughter existed.
matter, it came down to my weight and the fear of the arena seats. I had my sister go with my husband to the arena with my camera and instructions to take many pictures. My sister and my husband got along great, actually she is the only one in my family that tolerates him, and still. I went to my younger son’s performance. All is well. My sister took many pictures and one was absolutely perfect.
We never know what the next person to us or in our paths are going through. Nobody knew my situation for a long time, even in mine or his family or our friends. I wore the mask well.
Oftentimes, many look at heavy set women, and men, think that they are lazy. Perhaps they are but underneath the layers of fat are layers of pain. Physical pain as well as mental, spiritual but most will be emotional pain. They need hope and encouragement. It is none of our business to have all the details what made them that way, but there is a story behind the emotional eating.
turning it around with weight loss, hours and years of counseling, pushing myself out of my comfort zones, involved in church, groups, etc., walking in 5K marathons, but most of all acknowledging and knowing that I AM WORTHY and that God loves ME no matter. I never could grasp those words and now I do not want to let go of them.
Some days, don’t you just want to scream and really say what you want? Restraint is required many times. Right? Thoughts of saying what I want runs rampant all the while biting my tongue or afterward wishing I said this or that as I replayed the situation over and over in my mind.
It drives me absolutely insane. Just this past weekend, while walking, I had some major pain in my right leg. This happened recently, too, when walking a 5K. I did not know what was happening and 
even wondered if I was having a stroke. While trying to remain calm while in pain, I flexed my right arm, twisted my mouth, talked just to see if I could and made sense. Everything seemed fine, it was just my whole right leg. I thought I would not make it to the finish line. Just let me sit down on the bridge and come get me is about what I wanted to say to my friend I was walking with, as the pain was beyond what I thought I could cope with. I had to mentally focus on the finish line while physically I wanted to give up. We were not as close as I wanted to be but I made it. I was so happy to cross the finish line, somewhat limping. Maybe it was just stress built up from what I just endured the two weeks prior and my whole leg got the blunt of the pain. I never had this pain before when walking, ever.
where my hand landed on my leg, just resting, which was on my shin bone area, as I continued to talk. He proceeded telling me where ‘my pain’ was at, since my hand was there. No! I tried to explain further that the pain was not my shin bone (shin splints), but I found myself frustrated with him discounting my pain. Usually when I get to this point, I will reply with never mind and move on, I quit trying to explain myself.
are, I will not bring up the pain in my leg from walking again, unless he asks. I was triggered, which made me shut down, having no voice. I recognized it instead of holding that grudge and being mad for hours or days. This was something that I dealt with all my life. I do have a voice and instead of shutting down, I should have just expressed that he was not hearing me, actually I do try and tried in this situation, but I have learned there is no use. So to him, I was grouchy.
Just Pondering... 