Nothing!

0518437e-e078-4127-b784-db8ae8dcfe70-4006-000002db793c0401Here I am alone in my office and no desire to finish my work that can really wait until tomorrow, so I write for a bit.  The quietness in the office space far from everyone in the building, hearing the HVAC motors on the roof above me makes me feel as I am on an airplane ready for take off.  Anytime now, the flight attendant will be at my door offering up those yummy cookies.  Hey, I can dream.  Dream to take off in flight to somewhere exciting and yes those cookies. cb2b0a80-d041-46e4-877a-cb3a7c4cf0a9-4006-000002dbad019654 Tick tock tick tock, as I have two hours left to maintain this status until I can leave.

Even then, the boredom of life exists.  I joined classes and get regular exercise but my energy level and joy is depleated, as I just fall into bed.4b4d5133-5fef-4f5b-925d-25af21d5693f-4006-000002e1177629f6

Depression, perhaps.  Exhaustion, perhaps, Grief, perhaps.  Loneliness, perhaps.  Put those things and probably a few more it becomes overwhelming.

I know to keep moving and doing and not be isolated, but that comes so easy.  Vacation time is nearing so hopefully that will help, to get away.  A change of scenry, shopping and laughing with a dear friend although tears will fall, too.  Just to get away from nothing here and probably nothing there to really gain but a brief change and there’s nothing to lose.

a4f22023-0749-45cb-bf53-147ea2129562-4006-000002dc8f2ccc3aOh Lord, I need you.  I need your loving arms to hold me.  Only You know me like no other.  Give me strength to keep moving forward and be kind to others and to share your love and your mercy and grace. My focus needs to be on you, as you know my name and where I am when I do not even know myself.

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Can Dreams be a Warning?

It’s early morning and I’m wide awake.  I’ll pay for this later.  Awakened either by a dream or a car driving up the road, I’m unsure but I think the dream.40B7C6BF-DD3E-47C8-9A7E-B7CDBE245C83

The dream though was of my husband, by all outward appearance, he is calm and pleasant although Asperger odd.  He was in a rage and when awoke, I could tell my heartbeat was faster than normal so it produced fear in me.  This happened about a week ago, too.  Interesting.

I try to pay attention to my dreams.  There was one I had thirteen times growing up but never understood why but I actually saw it play out right in front of my eyes. 28A158AF-DA56-4C0C-8963-788A00CB5C76Nothing bad really but the exact replay of the dream in real time.  How crazy is that?

Once I had two guys working for me to remodel our home.  The one, the dream showed him in an angered rage and pitching things out my attic window.  Soon after, just days, the second man whose craftsmanship was surperb told me that either the other guy goes or he would. Confirmation!  I let the other man go.  Just that simple

So dreams can help you but sometimes scare the daylights out of you.   Pay attention.A903F384-9082-4F9D-8A51-43A76F335DFC

Time will tell what is up with this rage within my husband, within my dreams.   Might be nothing but might be a warning.