Abandonment

Closure

ponderingmissylou2 Comments

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Sometimes in life, there is no closure.

With no closure, whether it is through death or an ending of a relationship, it leaves a gaping hole, a void in the heart, with questions lingering of the one left that cares and loves so very much.

Some days are good and some days are not.

Only time can heal or ease the pain, which seems endless, as stages of grief grips the emotions and heart within.

How do you deal with grief?

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“Getting emotional closure means that you can “close the book” on your situation and its associated pain. You can put that book of pain on the shelf and you will no longer have to take it down and read from it on a daily basis.” (Dr. Phil, How to Get Emotional Closure, June 9, 2004)

https://www.drphil.com/advice/how-to-get-emotional-closure/

“Grief is the psychological-emotional experience following a loss of any kind (relationship, status, job, house, game, income, etc.).” (Dr. Will Meek, Psychology Today column, Note to Self)

https://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/2015/06/14/the-griefs-of-an-adult-survivor-of-emotional-child-abuse/

“People with different attachment styles are likely to grieve and express themselves in different ways after a significant loss.” (Hal Shorey, Ph.D., Attachment Styles and Reactions to Grief and Loss, Psychology Today)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-freedom-change/202001/attachment-styles-and-reactions-grief-and-loss

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“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

 

My Counselor is better than your Counselor 😊

ponderingmissylouLeave a comment

CAC2AA3E-0D94-49D1-BD01-9F043EE7F7E5You know how kids will say, my dad is better than your dad? The title came to me after my one counselor texted me this morning, he was just checking on me with everything happening. How sweet is that!?!

My other counselor and I touched base the other day, too. This means a lot to me as they both know of my past with abandonment. During this time, I could easily feel that way although they had nothing to do with the crisis, we are in. Thankfully, I don’t feel abandoned.

Many would object to this contact between counselor and client. Perhaps more so after counseling has ended so the contact would not cause a dip in the progress made. Plus, due to the code of ethics. I get it, although I would welcome contact from my previous counselor, but I doubt that will ever happen.

Just this morning, as I was getting ready for my day, soon after writing my blog, I Don’t Like It, I received his text.  It was like he knew I needed that. Perhaps the Lord put me on his mind and heart to make contact, which did touch my heart. 7B62F08A-0730-4491-B83E-66BEE3139A17

These days and more so ahead, we need to touch base with one another when they come to mind. That could be that the Lord put them in your thoughts to encourage them, if just in a text saying you are thinking of them. Everyone will need encouragement through this period that we have never experienced before. Pay attention to the nudge within, take a minute and touch base.

If you or someone you know is having some issues through all of the crisis at hand, please contact a counselor. While they, too, are on limited face-to-face setting to meet, a telephone call or FaceTime will have to suffice but at least it is something and reaching out. Give yourself or them a pat on the back, if so.

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There is nothing wrong having a counselor, or two in my case. Many still hold a stigma in this area, as you are crazy, etc. Even with me seeing two counselors, that enters my mind that others might think I have a lot of issues. I have issues that I am dealing with but at least I am reaching out for help but mostly to be a better me. I have and had the best.

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Wavelengths

ponderingmissylouLeave a comment

BREAKER, BREAKER…

Come in please!

Anybody there?

Do you hear me?

BREAKER, BREAKER…

Hello?56D6CEAE-4603-4D56-A93B-C65078A46598

Okay, I am alone, nobody is there. No answer was received as I go forward on my own. Here I go! What’s new though, I am always going forward, always on my own. No difference now.

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This is exactly what it feels like in a not-so-normal marriage for one reason or another. Knowing that the frequency of wavelengths between us two, are with no hope in sight. No need for hope at this point. The ride in life is alone and has felt alone and always will be alone.3B1BBC5C-32F5-45F7-80E1-F2446D40BD41

To give you some direction, if on the same radio frequency, even though you are at a standstill but also as you move forward, at a slow pace. Keep going! No doubt at some point, you felt lost on your route in this relationship by trying all sorts of tricks and talks to re-route the trip together but to no avail.AAF4DB0B-2BA1-40B5-9869-DBE33F7DE9CE

As you come to the fork in the road, deciding which direction, you may have just stopped there not knowing what to do. Perhaps you started down one way and notice it was going nowhere. Realizing finally after much displeasure, discontentment and the death of a marriage, you recalculate and the u-turn was made.

Now as you venture new territory, caring for yourself and not feeling so alone, life begins to blossom just as the spring is upon us. There is hope and a flicker of joy for more. You can do this in many ways, just start.

While maintaining a neutral ride at this time, this is when you gain ground and strength within. Do some research, join support groups either on Facebook or in your community and at a church. Get familiar with what is available, such as counseling, for you to move forward and find the happiness you know you deserve. This is a map of where you want to go and desire, as life is not meant to be stuck in a rut, spinning your wheels and standing alone.A6D54C3A-4E21-48BF-AED8-702332840662It’s time to get a tuneup and be ready for more. You deserve more. If you have done all that you could do to rectify the issue and no answer received, over and over again, please encourage yourself and know your worth in order to keep moving forward.

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BREAKER, BREAKER

Come in please!

Anybody there?

Somebody there to hear me, see me and love me?

BREAKER, BREAKER

I am here, I want to live and enjoy my life.

One day, I’ll be able to say OVER AND OUT

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Check out these resources: 

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Most importantly, the Lord knows your name

and He knows where you are in your journey.  

Trust Him!