I can honestly tell you, I dislike a part of the code of ethics between a counselor and client relationship. I totally understand that the counselor’s personal life is private while the client shares their life and deepest, darkest secrets. That’s fine because that is why you are there in counseling.
While I do understand the boundaries during the process of counseling, I also understand it after counseling has ended between both but I just don’t like it. The connection is no more, as if it never existed.
As I started counseling over four years ago, it recently ended due to health issues of my counselor. Jokingly, although some seriousness in me, I have wondered maybe I caused her to have burnout. Possibly!?
With our time together, I found her to be one I could confide in and be honest with and that is exactly what you want in a counselor, a connection. While she maintained boundaries in her profession, I still considered her closer than my own sisters. I could talk to her in complete confidence, truly feeling she cared for me not only as a client but as a person. To be listened to, heard and understood, brings healing. I have to say, she was one of the best. I feel blessed to have had her in my life, when I needed her the most.
The word, had. I had her in my life. Now I don’t. It’s that code of ethics that comes into play. Again, I really do understand but I really don’t like it. Okay, I am having a temper tantrum, and I’ve had a few.
At one time, a brief comment was made between us that no friendship relationship while counselor/client. Okay, fine. It was when she made her decision to close her office, it all became real and quite upsetting. Hoping now, at least we can become friends on Facebook to stay connected, was my hope. Nope!
Okay, now with that, a real temper tantrum because not only can we not be friends on Facebook, but no contact for three years. Three years! As of today, that will be 870 days, but who is counting? Ha
Again, I do understand and I respect her in this matter. I just don’t like it. It’s like the song, ‘It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.’ Well, this is my blog and I’ll complain if I want to, while working through it all and having fun, too. Getting through the grief. It would not surprise her to know I have a countdown timer on my iPhone. I also have one of my retirement date, which is definitely more days than I want to be reminded. It works for me.
In three years, I guess the reasoning is that the facts spoken within her four office walls will be forgotten, she will forget me and I will forget her and life goes on as if we never knew one another. Can that really be true?
For me, not possible. On my end, she will always be a part of my testimony. While I am adjusting to the abandonment part of this situation, I still have my moments of grief and missing our talks.
So, perhaps this will help somebody know of what to expect when considering counseling.
Even though we both go our separate ways, I feel the Lord led me to her at the right time. He prepared her in this area for me, others clients also, but He knew I would need her many years before I even entered her door. That’s God!
The Lord knows and will put the right people in your path.
I really miss her. Sometimes I hope she reads my writings, perhaps to know I care and appreciatative but be encouraged, too, because she helped me be who I am today.