I definitely remember being just that… young and stupid. A lot of things could be said, but I got through and learned some major lessons, some the hard way. So I try to remember my youth and the rebelliousness and my ways when listening to my son with his thoughts and plans recently.
I am sure each one of us could admit that, too, of making crazy decisions. This one thing that came to mind when talking to him and growing irritable with him 
within, while trying my best to remain calm, was when I withdrew my retirement.
I did not listen to anyone, ask for direction or do any research of what happens if I took out my retirement of almost twelve years working. At that time in my life, being newly married and expecting a baby, we did not feel that old age would be an issue or come so quickly. How crazy is that? It did! While it was a nice down payment on our first house, I lost out. I find myself still having regret over this but there again, young and stupid. I could have retired many years ago, remain working at my present job to accumulate more for a second retirement. Now, I will work longer in life but thankfully I enjoy my job. I learned my lesson and will advise others to not do what I did. 
No doubt years from now, my son will have some regrets. He is so much like me. Somewhat scary. Still he will learn, the hard way. 
He is a full-grown adult now, I have no say really in his life anymore or the decisions he will make. As his mother, it gives me great joy and pride in how well he has done but in other areas, I want to scream, please listen to me or someone. While the control and panic is felt within my body and my mind is swirling of how it would be better if he would listen, I still have to let go and realize he has to walk his own path. All I can do is pray.
Being a parent is wonderful but it is hard. No matter how old they get, there is still that motherly instinct to oversee them. Letting go was hard years ago when my boys attended college, knowing home would never be the same, for them or for us. I feel as though it is letting go once again.
One day, the roles will be reversed by them taking care of me and making decisions on my behalf and odds are, I will not listen to them or be happy with some decisions made or worse. Guess I better keep my mouth shut now.
Oh to be young and stupid. I would definitely do things a lot differently in so many ways. I have heard that from so many through the years.
So I will continue and will to my dying day, pray for my boys, love them and support them in all they do. I may not like some things but they will never have to doubt my love for them.
The Lord knows and sees each one of us and we all make and will make some not-so-good decisions at times and mistakes, etc. Still, He loves us like no other and He will always be there for us. May we never doubt His Love for us. Trust Him.
had all come about so perfectly but the doubt hovering over me with what if I fail? The balancing act with many encouraging me and those that I have shared my hesitation with, their encouragement that will support me either way. At times, that did not help, still feeling at a loss as to what to do. In the past few weeks, a part of me desiring that somebody would say, just do it, taking my hand and leading me, helping me and conquer this fear. I’m scared, okay terrified.
I am sure I am not alone when trying to make a big decision, allowing faith to manifest but fear lurking around every corner. We all have to make decisions in life with jobs, marriage, education, purchases, etc. Adulting is hard, even at my age.
making a final decision this week, I felt encouraged upon waking. I have dreams and sometimes they are so real, just like this morning. Sitting quietly in a church service but next to a side wall not in a pew, my pastor came over to me. He took my hands and held them, looking at me and just said, ‘You know He is with you.’ How encouraging! Yes, it was a dream a spiritual dream, but I do believe and know that God can speak to us in them. Perhaps because our mind is quiet and He can get our (my) attention.
n my quiet time this morning, of course, with coffee nearby and before I start my day cleaning and enjoying my home, I was reading scripture. Just so happened, guess what I turned to and read first? Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” How awesome it is to know that God’s Words are LIFE words soothing our soul, that brings calmness to our spirit and giving power and joy to our day. He is with me. He is with you. We just have to quiet our minds, whether sleeping and in a dream to be reminded or in the moment acknowledging Him as we go about our busy, chaotic lives. That’s God. Trust Him.
Just yesterday I was in my twenties, thirties, forties and, of course, fifties. Now, the BIG 60. How did that happen so quickly? I also often wonder how I and/or we have made it to our 30th anniversary. Wow! 30 years!
As I was busy with toddlers and caring for my aging parents, things changed in those years. My parents passed within two years of one another, then dealing with the estate and family issues. Sadly, my marriage died, too. Alone within and being private while wearing a mask of us all being a happy Christian family. Taking this all upon me, as it was all my fault, accepting the lies and rumors being spread that I am a bad person, etc., was weighing heavy upon me.
thankfully not a large space. While scrubbing, I remember thinking I am just like the fairytale we have all read, Cinderella. As for much of the forties, I do not remember, as I lost myself in those years. My focus was on my children and my energy went to them, otherwise depression was overtaking me.
Just Pondering... 