On Sunday morning as I was getting ready for church in anticipation, as I truly love my late church service, I felt time was moving so slow. What was I doing so different than other mornings, as each time I looked at the clock, it only moved minutes from the last observance.
As I drove toward church, with extra time, I went out of my way knowing the traffic from the earlier service would be chaotic due to a recent addition made so I drove around. Time being available but also in hopes of passing someone that I had not seen for months.
In all that, I found my memories, thoughts and emotions were being affected. My heart becoming heavy and fighting back tears due to grief felt. Aware of the sadness, as I found my seat, I tried to immerse myself in the worship once the music began. I tried and did but it was a battle.
As I began to worship and realize that the Lord knows the hurt and grief within, I know He loves me, is healing broken pieces within me and has a plan for me. He will not let this pain go to waste.
It was then when I felt light hearted and a refreshing come over me. It was when I put my eyes, my thoughts and worship toward Him. I could feel joy.
To walk in heavy hearted and to leave light hearted, just within that time period was evidence and knowledge enough to know I am (we are) to look to Him and praise Him. Acknowledge Him continuously in our daily lives, not just in church. 
People will let us down over and over, disappointments come and things in life just happens but perhaps and many times to push us toward Him. A lesson learned and repeated but worth it.
There have been times in life, I have wanted to forget something that I did or happened because the thought either brought torment, insecurity, embarrassment, etc. No doubt, you also. Things happen in life.
Although the pain, as in my instance recently, I would like to forget in order to ease the pain, but in all honesty, I really do not want to forget. I just want to get through the pain and I will. Plus, I know that their life is woven into mine and always will be, and mine in theirs.
So many facets of my life are connected that I do not want to forget how they all came about. To toss them aside, to delete and block out all of the resources received, learned and love shown, it would be impossible. My life has been and was touched.
oday, as I do my job and watch the clock ready to leave the office, I am tired and ready for a vacation, which is only six weeks away. I am so ready. I found myself saying, if only I was a bird, I’d fly away, which brought back years of memories.
Just Pondering... 