With the past Labor Day holiday, it throws off my counseling appointment, which is on Monday. Oh how I do not need to miss an appointment as things in life feel so overwhelming.
While I enter my counselors office, sit on her bright-colored loveseat with the door shut, of course, I can feel safe. While not always easy, I know I have come a long way with her help. I trust her although at times I must deal with the mental lies that are thrown at me that she, too, will hurt me. I have voiced that to her as in many things that only her and God know. That’s trust. With that, Satan knows how to get my goat due to that fact. Amazingly, I find that she is aware, it seems of my body posture, facial movements and my breathing, where I do not. Sometimes I am just amazed. Most of all thankful to have her in my life.
Making my appointment on her normal day off, her suggestion, I felt bad doing so. Unbeknownst to her or to me, she became ill prior to my appointment, she had to cancel, so no session.
Even before, contemplating of cancellating myself, I thought to myself that I can make it to the next Monday. Well, now I will. Thinking to myself, I’m tough.
In all actuality, I am. I have been through the years. What’s a few more days? I have been through hell, which some have experienced much worse than myself but my journey holds its own. Some would run or cower with what I’ve dealt with but it was what I have been given to deal with. I’m still here, although worn and battle scars within.
Even so, while not to the expertise that my counselor has taught me, it was by my faith in God and what knowledge I had to grasp, also gut feelings. By the Grace of God, He has lead me, directed me and kept me.
When I get down and out and that old depression sneaks in to rip my confidence apart and my faith, I have to remember I am tough. Tomorrow is another day.
No matter what we go through, the important thing to remember is that you go through. We are not promised a life free of problems but are told that He will not leave us or forsake us, we can call upon Him.
Search the scriptures and pour yourself into His Word and let Him pour His Love into you. I’m writing this to remind myself.
I’m tough but odds are, you are tough, too! We just don’t feel it sometimes.
Trust Him!
Noticing tension with my Counselor and I at times, this has been a true and obvious sign that a breakthrough is coming. When I feel I have had enough, cannot take anymore, want to quit, I have dig my heels in and I do continue. I know a breakthrough is near. Odds are, she does also.
So often we reply with the words, “I’m Fine” when in all honesty, we are far from that fact. Still, it rolls off the tongue and for the most part and people around us don’t think anything about it and/or if it is true. Just accepted.
means another thing for others. Which is ‘F’d up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional’ and from that day, I limited and was cautious of using. But I did it anyway.
Just Pondering... 