This morning I had an appointment early to get my 
haircut and was looking forward to a nice, productive day afterward as I prepare for Thanksgiving like many of us are doing. A good morning overall even though the weather was not cooperating with a lack of sunshine.
Here I am, sitting in the chair and my sweet stylist doing her magic while we talked and laughed. In the background, Christmas music was playing and the song, Pretty Paper by Willie Nelson came on. I stated I had not heard that for a good year, since last Christmas, of course, making a joke. I knew with that comment, I could not hold back the emotions and the tears started. Where did those come from and why? It’s funny how memories are stirred by music and our emotions are affected.
“Each tear we cry has meaning to our Father God. He keeps track of all our sorrows just as carefully as if He were gathering each tear and placing it in a bottle for His remembrance.” Jennifer Rothschild
Later, when home alone and starting to clean, I turned on the Christmas music, louder than normal with my sound bar and woofer level elevated, hoping the neighbors don’t 
complain. lol Believe it or not, the first song was Pretty Paper by Willie Nelson, yet again. What is up with this song today? Just because of how odd and what happened earlier, I texted my stylist and told her. Her text back was that it was playing right after I texted her. Knowing we are not playing the same channels but for this to coincide, interesting for both of us now.
Christmas music is wonderful even when the tears start flowing. The lyrics go deep and touch our hearts. Once they start, they usually continue off and on for the day for me and sure enough today has been one of those days.
The holidays can bring up memories of our past, good and bad, the grieving of those no longer in our lives whether that be in death or an end of a relationship, being overwhelmed with many things going on in our lives, or a mixture of it all and the tears flow, but not necessarily depression.
When my son moved out of state after college, being five hours away that year, I found the song, I’ll Be Home for Christmas a definite one to make the tears flow, which always reminds me of him still even though now an hour away. This song is not so good when driving to work and tears fall like a dripping water faucet. Why did I even put on makeup?
Feeling sentimental, as many of us are if not all, at this 
time of the year, is normal. It is a time for families and friends to come together. With the Birth of Christ recognized, our worship and joy felt can also bring tears of thankfulness. Let your heart feel, allow your emotions that apparently are needed to cleanse and heal some areas within. It’s okay to cry, even in your hair stylist’s chair. I grew up feeling shame and embarrassment of crying in front of others, even my own family. Thankfully that has changed in understanding myself and the whys through counseling.
If you find the tears are more than not and on the depressive side instead of sentimental reasons, please contact your physician, a counselor, a pastor, a friend. Reach out! It does takes courage but you can do this.
If more serious and nobody is available or you want to remain private, as many isolate during this time, please get help by going to your nearest hospital or call the suicide hotline. You are worthy and God knows your name and where you are and most importantly, He loves you. Trust Him!
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 👉🏻 Telephone 1-800-273-8255 24/7
The Story Behind Willie Nelson’s Christmas Classic, ‘Pretty Paper’
Just yesterday I was in my twenties, thirties, forties and, of course, fifties. Now, the BIG 60. How did that happen so quickly? I also often wonder how I and/or we have made it to our 30th anniversary. Wow! 30 years!
As I was busy with toddlers and caring for my aging parents, things changed in those years. My parents passed within two years of one another, then dealing with the estate and family issues. Sadly, my marriage died, too. Alone within and being private while wearing a mask of us all being a happy Christian family. Taking this all upon me, as it was all my fault, accepting the lies and rumors being spread that I am a bad person, etc., was weighing heavy upon me.
thankfully not a large space. While scrubbing, I remember thinking I am just like the fairytale we have all read, Cinderella. As for much of the forties, I do not remember, as I lost myself in those years. My focus was on my children and my energy went to them, otherwise depression was overtaking me.
Today, I embarked on a new journey in my life. I have never done this before but I am taking a step forward. We sing a song in church that says if you take one step, He will take two. Well, I need that from the Lord as I don’t know what to do. I feel like life is heading in all sorts of directions and I feel lost, standing at a fork in the road.
I arranged a getaway for four nights, just me. I need to know me and I need the Lord to speak to me through His Word. He is my Father. He is my Husband. I need Him.
way to go. I stood in my office before leaving with my arms outstretched asking if I am to go north or south. My final decision was to go north.
I told my counselor that I would not be surprised if the owner is an attorney, as I would love to pick his brain. To find out, he is a preacher. Even better. No doubt in my mind that is why I was drawn to this location. I would not be surprised to have time to talk and be encouraged from him or his wife. That’s God. The Lord is so good. 
Just Pondering... 