My mind is stuck, my thoughts are not going anywhere, I cannot concentrate enough to write. Even though my mind is stuck, I feel it is everywhere.
There is no surprise here, as everywhere we look, everything we read or hear is about the crisis and rightfully so due to the severity. I don’t have to like it though. No doubt, you feel the same.
Enough already!
There is a freezing within me of panic although I feel calm, as I know that I must keep it together, otherwise it is insanity.
Alone, my tears will flow as in that old, ugly cry at least once or twice a day. My cries to the Lord to take this away, to protect my children, family, friends, the world. Knowing we are all in this together.
Enough already!
The day begins, the same routine of cleaning the house, when I really want to go out. Of course, I can go out but in limited space. I want to visit my boys, have dinner to talk and laugh but it’s hard to do by going through a drive-thru.
Once the tears, cries and prayers are out, it is time to get up to start my day, any which way. I hope I am productive and it is a good day, as I will do the same tomorrow and the next day.
The peace of God that comes after a bout of emotions, is definitely worth the time in devotion. He calms my fears, 
the panic is lessened as my mind is gearing up for the day. I have to put my trust in the Lord, for He is all I have and He is The Way.
Enough already!
Okay, Let’s do this!
In the Lord our God! Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. … Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe. Nehemiah 8:10 Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses-for-faith-in-hard-times/
Last night as my sister and I messaged back and forth about this, that and the other, I mentioned all the anxiousness around us. Many are downright panicked with the possibility of being quarantined fourteen days, which affects each and everyone of us. Knowing, too, many work and live paycheck to paycheck, which may or may not be available. Fear of the what ifs come into play. What if I cannot pay my mortgage/rent? What if I cannot pay for electricity, water and food. Now food brings up a whole other fear, as the shelves are bare from day to day. Depending upon how many children are under the roof, adults, pets, etc., the fear increases. Many are thinking maybe they will be okay but many maybe not, as this will definitely be a hardship.
hands, which I plan to observe today and will probably do myself. Another, maybe, maybe not. The fear of being around others right now is on the back of our minds, even though we try to have faith, all will be fine. Probably so. How will you feel when you hear a sneeze or a cough from one within the suggested six foot radius?
What is there to lose except sleepless nights and stress? Trust the Lord with all your heart, mind and soul. Dig your heals in and hold onto His Word. If you just pick one scripture that speaks to you and gives you hope. For many years, and still, the one that has kept me standing was that He would never leave me nor forsake me. With that, I knew I was never alone, even though I had my doubts at times but that was no surprise to Him. Knowing and saying many times, He knows my name and He knows where I am, was and still like my motto. The same is true for you, He knows your name and where you are. He will never leave you or forsake you. He loves YOU!
I’m ready to turn up my music, flow freely through my house, sing and sometimes dance if I so desire, the cleaning becomes fun, the sound of the vacuum is like a melody, the washer and dryer hum in the background. What a nice time enjoying my home without an energy, draining vampire lurking about.
If I decide to write as I am doing now, the words flow freely and my mind is sharp. So much to do enjoying my time alone, knowing it is short lived so I cherish the moments, as it will soon end.
Lord, there must be more, I have said so many times through the years and You heard the same today. I have come so far and know the light at the end of the tunnel is near. I’m getting impatient so please hurry this along. My age is adding numbers and my strength is becoming less. There is so much I want to do in my time left. I want happiness, I want to feel joy, I just want to have fun and laugh until it hurts. I’m at an age I feel I’ve earned the best of what life has to offer, but I’m stuck and need a few more things to line up.
Just Pondering... 