Write to Heal

1B8A561F-D74F-48BF-BE5E-FB507F9A26BDYes, that title is correct. I write to heal and I also have a right to heal in my writing.

To journal, to blog, to do whatever to get your thoughts out of your mind, will help. Take time and do it.

BC48FDD7-557E-4DD8-8BE6-6DA5BD9E9E20While I write because it is therapeutic to me and many do, not for monetary gain, but for emotional clarity and healing.  Sometimes that just might be more beneficial.

The other night I read a blog and I felt discouraged afterward but, of course, I realized they were selling their F7610B60-0DAE-42C7-9FFA-5F07ACD0AE57site to help others blog and make money.  I understand that and while their points are legitimate in being a blogger. I will take what I can and learn from it but continue, as is, as I need healing and will grow from it, if just for me.

I am not going to stop because of their input and because of the discouragement felt, which I have done through life to accommodate others.

We all are on a journey.  Perhaps one day, somebody will  read something I wrote and will feel relieved that they are not alone.   To have that happen, knowing you are not alone; it is like a peace and from within them, hope comes alive.

So write from your heart, blog, journal, draw, just be creative to see the words or artwork be displayed in front of your eyes from your fingertips to express what is on your mind and felt within.  Your mind will be less full of the chaos and your body less stressed from carrying it around.

Be free, heal and share.

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My Little Girl Within

E8F21D4F-FF17-42A0-8746-882C77B74462Years ago, I started counseling mainly due to marriage issues and just at a loss, feeling crazy, feeling alone and no hope in life.  Stuck.

It was after we got through that part and I understood what is what, finding answers, setting boundaries and hope restored within me, did the counseling turn toward me individually.  No more marriage discussions, although we touched base off and on in areas of concern.

F4594D7D-7388-4DF6-9DB4-23817556ECF7Now, fearfully and not at all what I was expecting in counseling, it was all about me.  Realizing, with each counseling session, I had a choice to dig my heels in and grasp what is or high tail it out of there.

Depending upon the session, I have felt both ways and at times frustrated, angry, emotionally distraught and you name it but oftentimes, too, I was grateful for a counselor that was just as determined to see me healed from childhood issues and life experiences.

Still I am amazed how well this counselor picked up on things and understood me. Nobody ever did that with me and to explain why I do or did things, validate the confusion I felt all of these years.

If you have been reading my blogs, you realize how thankful I am for her in my life and God sent, just for me.

Adult problems are childhood issues, a phrase I have heard and understood, but not in depth as she helped me understand within my own life.

For most, I could comprehend and wiggle through to understand.  When the inner child and it is necessary to connect and re-parent the wounded child within, I could not grasp although I understood what she was trying to tell me.

056D71BF-7FB6-4A26-AECA-90626B38BA91Part of me felt it was crazy thinking how to do this and get to the point of making this work.  Honestly, I still have issues with this.

C51A7CD3-2255-404F-BC14-C9167C89F867Thankfully, I know to give myself grace and in time I will have my inner child trusting me and knowing that I love her unconditionally.

I don’t know what all happened to me as a child and if I am in total denial or blocking pieces out, but I do know that the Lord is healing me.   I have to trust Him in this journey and be patient and willing to be healed.

The other night, while driving through the Christmas lights, feeling the excitement and being in the moment, was probably a true connection I had with my inner child.  While that may not be of exciting news to you, I am still on cloud nine as they say because I felt like a child enjoying the lights.  I loved the sights, smells and the joy of Christmas as a child and all those memories flooded my soul last night.  Little me was present.  That was a gift to myself.  I’m slowly grasping this inner child stuff, which I need to do for healing in my life.

Perhaps you, too, need to connect to your inner child.  Maybe you have heard of this and thought it was crazy thinking.  Are you too wrapped in work and doing for others, even church work?  Stop, reflect and love the inner child within you.

As I mentioned early on with my counselor and the inner child stuff, I was lost and unknowing of such a thing.  There are a lot of books, Facebook group pages, research articles on Google, etc., available to read and gain knowledge and hopefully healing.   I hope that my story helps someone.

E8341B37-CCFA-485A-ADCB-2D30CC878CF6Growing up, I yearned for love and attention and sadly, I do as an adult.  With counseling, understanding why this caused such in my life, I am doing better.  I’m understanding that the little me needs me to love her and care and have fun, too.

I was worth the love and attention as a child that I did not receive.

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Distractions

Since my last writing, I have pondered distractions all week. Distractions come whether we like them or not and some are actually in our favor.73DD4B77-FA72-445B-B9E7-37CB8160A658

Dealing with a member of the church and her comment of my hair, apparently she is the hair police. It did distract me and started to take over in my worship and concentration. Once I realized though that her comment was a distraction, I settled in and realized Satan just used her as a tool to do so. Nope! Stop right there.

Recently, I enrolled in an accelerated class in the evenings for eight weeks. This all came about months earlier and everything lined up, even the money to pay in full, etc. With that all happening, that truly is a sign from the Lord to do it and do it well. I was excited and my classroom time began.

It was then that my counselor decided to take a leave of absence. A good month before, she had cancelled sessions due to illness but no thought of a leave. Reading my previous writings, I was devastated. I still miss her.

I realized this week though that with me losing my counselor after four years of regular weekly sessions, I was grieving and just lost in my routine, thoughts and tears that just perhaps that accelerated class was a good distraction for me.

While it was hard to focus, and I found myself angry at her but then again understanding her need to care for herself, I had to keep it together and concentrate in order to pass the class. That cycle of anger and understanding in my grieving continued.

If it had not been for that class though, I may have crumbled. So I still see that the Lord had my path all lined out due to her leaving and here I am today. Finished with the class, passing with a higher grade than ever imagined and my grief has lessened.

I am sure you know full well that distractions come from one room to the next. If you are like me, you can walk in one room to do something and be pulled in another direction and forget the main purpose of going in the room. The old joke about being at the bottom of the steps, standing there, wondering if you were going up or just came down. Still makes me laugh, it’s true sometimes.

0D5DE9F1-06E0-459F-95F0-51CBB90CEFBFNow that I am older, post-it notes are the best things ever. I need notes and many I talk to, make notes or to-do lists, don’t forget, etc. With that, another distraction is the mental thought of worry that I am or will get Alzheimer’s.

Well, that thought will bring you down quick. It runs in my mother’s side of the family so it is in the back of my mind. I have to switch that off and not dwell there.

Our lives are so busy with places to go, see and do and our minds are overwhelmed with details that it is easy to be distracted. Life nowadays for so many of us, from young to old, we all get distracted in so many ways. Some more than others as with ADHD or other medical conditions.

It’s having patience with ourselves. Make your lists, use post-it notes or whatever else to take some junk from your mind that you need to remember and feel somewhat free. It’s there in front of you to cross off or get to and takes the pressure off to remember it all.  Makes you feel accomplished as you cross off things from your list, too.

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I find I still tell myself, oh I will remember that, if a thought comes, etc. Nope! I don’t as much anymore, I am older, overwhelmed and going in many directions, probably as you are. I sometimes take a pic with my phone of something I want to check out, so when I scroll through my pics, there it is.

Just knowing distractions come and they will, you make the most of them. Some are good and some not so much.

Funny, I am writing this as it has been on my mind a lot this week noticing the many distractions. Here I am writing and should be up cleaning, doing laundry and I had best get my Christmas decorations out and up before Christmas. Distracted by writing. Here I distracted you by reading.  See, it happens.  Have a productive, fun day.

🎄 Merry Christmas 🎄