My prayer for years and becoming more consistent. Lord, there must be more.
As we cry out to Him, He hears us. It may not feel that way, but that is when we draw up every inch of faith within us. The pleading of our soul screaming out possibly inaudible to those around us, the thoughts in our mind as we go through our day, the tears that leak out from the corner of our eyes which sometimes become like a waterfall. No matter how, He knows all about us. He knows what we are struggling and no matter how big or small. He sees and feels our hopelessness.
To break it down even more, He knows ALL.
He is just waiting for us to give up trying to control the circumstances and allow Him to take control. Sounds easy enough. Right? Still we want to help. Our wheels spin and He patiently waits. No doubt how the song, Jesus Take The Wheel came into existence. The writer finally got it and blessed us with the lyrics that many relate with and enjoy.
While He is patient with me, I know I am not in many areas although I am in other areas. I have had to be, plus I am still here. Years upon years, and still I have dealt with some situations in my life that seems like there was no end in sight. Except death. Sadly, there were times years ago, I welcomed that. Total hopelessness.
Not now, as I have hope because I have worked too hard to get to this point in my life. Whether my situation changes or
not, my faith in the Lord and worship will continue and actually increase.
Even though the words, Lord, there must be more, come out of my mouth or cross in my mind, I feel there really is more. Long time coming and I wait.
So where are you? What are you going through? Do you feel stuck in a rut? Hopeless?
There is only One that knows you like no other. The Lord is there for you, as He has been for me at my darkest hours and in total hopelessness. Trust Him. If you take one step, He will take two. If you need to see a counselor, go! They can help sort out thoughts and help you regain lost years through the sadness, which was a lifeline for me. Just take care of you. There is more to life than a pit of despair. I don’t want to be in that pit for the rest of my life. I had to make a choice. You have a choice. Let’s Live!


Because it happens. To realize it covers a lot, more than sex, I felt somewhat ignorant to learn, just a year or so ago, the difference. It is a deeper connection, which is so nice.
physically, but in my testimony and how I relate to areas in my life that have been issues that I have overcome or I am still working on. Many lightbulb moments came about in those sessions, while deep and dark secrets, fears and sad and happy life moments were exposed and discussed. Definitely I was enlightened to life… past, present and future.
Let’s not forget God, our relationship with Him. Intimacy with God. 

If only she would read my writings to be encouraged herself of how she affected my life. I truly have been blessed and feel this last part of my life will be the best.
I have sat on the loveseat in my counselor’s office week after week, year after year trying to understand life as an older, adult woman and realizing my childhood held a lot of the keys to the confusion felt.
As we discussed my own childhood issues so many times, I felt the burden and so often while reading about emotional neglect and abandonment, the burden that I let my own children down. I have failed them. How do I make that right now from their childhood? They are both grown adults. They seem well adjusted, confident but are they really? Will they ever express to me where I failed? Could I handle it, if so? I want to ask them but I am fearful to know, too. Will they even know until they also might be sitting on a counselor’s loveseat trying to understand life as I am and realize the damage done. The cycle of life as we all fail in one area or another or more.
If only…. how many times we all say that. If only I could do some things over, I would still fail my children. So when the burden or guilt overrides my parenting, I know that I must remember I did the best that I could with what I knew. Today, and always, they know I love them. My time left on this earth and our time together, I do know that they will have a more happy, healthier mother before them.