Distractions

Since my last writing, I have pondered distractions all week. Distractions come whether we like them or not and some are actually in our favor.73DD4B77-FA72-445B-B9E7-37CB8160A658

Dealing with a member of the church and her comment of my hair, apparently she is the hair police. It did distract me and started to take over in my worship and concentration. Once I realized though that her comment was a distraction, I settled in and realized Satan just used her as a tool to do so. Nope! Stop right there.

Recently, I enrolled in an accelerated class in the evenings for eight weeks. This all came about months earlier and everything lined up, even the money to pay in full, etc. With that all happening, that truly is a sign from the Lord to do it and do it well. I was excited and my classroom time began.

It was then that my counselor decided to take a leave of absence. A good month before, she had cancelled sessions due to illness but no thought of a leave. Reading my previous writings, I was devastated. I still miss her.

I realized this week though that with me losing my counselor after four years of regular weekly sessions, I was grieving and just lost in my routine, thoughts and tears that just perhaps that accelerated class was a good distraction for me.

While it was hard to focus, and I found myself angry at her but then again understanding her need to care for herself, I had to keep it together and concentrate in order to pass the class. That cycle of anger and understanding in my grieving continued.

If it had not been for that class though, I may have crumbled. So I still see that the Lord had my path all lined out due to her leaving and here I am today. Finished with the class, passing with a higher grade than ever imagined and my grief has lessened.

I am sure you know full well that distractions come from one room to the next. If you are like me, you can walk in one room to do something and be pulled in another direction and forget the main purpose of going in the room. The old joke about being at the bottom of the steps, standing there, wondering if you were going up or just came down. Still makes me laugh, it’s true sometimes.

0D5DE9F1-06E0-459F-95F0-51CBB90CEFBFNow that I am older, post-it notes are the best things ever. I need notes and many I talk to, make notes or to-do lists, don’t forget, etc. With that, another distraction is the mental thought of worry that I am or will get Alzheimer’s.

Well, that thought will bring you down quick. It runs in my mother’s side of the family so it is in the back of my mind. I have to switch that off and not dwell there.

Our lives are so busy with places to go, see and do and our minds are overwhelmed with details that it is easy to be distracted. Life nowadays for so many of us, from young to old, we all get distracted in so many ways. Some more than others as with ADHD or other medical conditions.

It’s having patience with ourselves. Make your lists, use post-it notes or whatever else to take some junk from your mind that you need to remember and feel somewhat free. It’s there in front of you to cross off or get to and takes the pressure off to remember it all.  Makes you feel accomplished as you cross off things from your list, too.

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I find I still tell myself, oh I will remember that, if a thought comes, etc. Nope! I don’t as much anymore, I am older, overwhelmed and going in many directions, probably as you are. I sometimes take a pic with my phone of something I want to check out, so when I scroll through my pics, there it is.

Just knowing distractions come and they will, you make the most of them. Some are good and some not so much.

Funny, I am writing this as it has been on my mind a lot this week noticing the many distractions. Here I am writing and should be up cleaning, doing laundry and I had best get my Christmas decorations out and up before Christmas. Distracted by writing. Here I distracted you by reading.  See, it happens.  Have a productive, fun day.

🎄 Merry Christmas 🎄

Consider the Source

There are some people in our lives that have a way of rubbing us the wrong way.  Please tell me that I am not the only one.

F15562F9-6F12-419A-9F93-6B4F5AF89DD4While this one person, just today, and in all places, at church felt it was her duty to make a point visually and verbally state that my hair was too short.

Actually, I was having a good hair day, so I thought.  Nothing like being put down within five minutes of arriving a church.

The thought of just leaving as that took a bit to counteract the lack of self-confidence that I lack in at times and then to find a mirror or glass to view my head and apparent short hair to her.

I did not leave and continued to work the welcome desk, I pulled my little mirror out and I still thought it look nice.

What would possess her to do this to me?   Holding her hand up in a scissor sign although I thought first it was holding her hand up as in a gun up to her head.   Then asking her if all was okay and there it was, her comment making sure I knew of her dislike of my hair and the haircut. Stating it was too short for her liking and telling me so yet again.   I could have made a comment but I just looked at her and gave her a real big shoulder shrug with facial expression of who cares.  I was shocked I did that. 80FC76B5-B8AD-4CA8-8D78-067BA7BEFE6A

I went on about my business and enjoyed the church service.  Sitting there, I realized she was just a distraction to cause me to dwell on her negative comment.   I saw it as it was, just that.   I chose to not dwell but consider the source and brush it off.  Realizing, consider the source.

Many months ago, we had a situation between us, which could be a whole other writing, but afterward she pulled me to the side to ask for forgiveness and then turned right around and accused me of something out of the blue and definitely incorrect.  What?   What is this woman’s deal?  I realized that day that our ties were to be broken and today was just a reminder.

The old saying that still rings true… if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.

On the flip side, if you see something nice or pretty whether a person, thing, an act of kindness, etc., I encourage you to say so.

People are always open to heartfelt, honest compliments and need them.  We all need them.

* Encouragement not Discouragement *

It was just interesting today how I could have dug a hole with her comment, leave church and not hear the sermon, which was awesome and encouraging because of her rude statement.2AD2AFC8-045E-4AFD-B38A-0BE69C605782

My counselor would have been so proud of how I bounced back.  I was proud of myself.

There are some people that you avoid and sadly some are in the church.  I’ve got her number but I will continue to go forward in my worship and serving the Lord and not allow her to be a distraction.

Whether it’s me or it’s you in such a situation, keep your eyes upon the Lord.  Beware of the distractions.

He knows, He hears and He sees all.

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Where Am I Going?

DF6F6EC3-C9F6-41FB-8722-F74D7C370EEFI’m unsure what lies ahead.  Truly, do any of us know?  Things in our daily life can change in an instant and our lives disrupted of the boring norm that exists.  I know at times life does get monotonous and joy seems so far away, as it happens.

Thankfully, I am not dealing with a loss in a death but it sure feels like it some days.  Perhaps, I am at this point because I had so much of an attachment to someone that in order to recognize and stop this process, God had to rip this person away.  How mean that it is of Him to do!  While I understand, it still does not help my coping at times.  He is a jealous God.

47100026-CA7B-427E-A2EC-25BCC24F7E2CWith that, we are not to be jealous of others but that scripture say He is.  Isn’t that contradiction?   Again, I understand that He Is because He Is and my faith in Him is of utmost importance but my mind has problems unraveling the idea of this jealousy.

All through my life, I have attached myself to others for their direction, wisdom and care.  A child with emotional neglect will undoubtedly reach out searching for such and rightfully so in order to feel loved and cared for.  Recognizing this now in my adult years, I do understand why I did it and still lean in that fashion. Childhood issues lurk long after childhood, causing adult issues and some all the way to the grave.

Losing yet another support person in my life is like the rug has been pulled out from under me.  I feel lost, lonely and grasping at air to hold on.  Sometimes screaming within and even aloud, ‘I need you.’

Along with childhood issues, trust in many was limited and still I let very few in my world. Acquaintances perhaps to enjoy laughter but not to know my heart, only a select few.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, as we need to be selective.

1DA59647-69F5-467D-9D25-64872142728CAs I faced a hurdle just recently, I don’t know what to do or where to go, what steps to take.  What I do know is to remain still and allow God to position my steps and my way.  This time in waiting is painful and lonely.  At times, I feel anger rise up.  All of these emotions are normal.  With Him, I scream within and aloud, ‘I need You.’