This morning as I was walking with my walking buddy, we discussed how when we did not have two nickels to rub together, as they say, when young and starting out on our own, that someone helped us. Today, we have not forgotten the person or their kindness, not to mention the expense. Paying forward now is what we do and hopefully the trend continues.
It was nice to think of that this morning and remember the rough periods but also that my Christian walk and my prayer life developed in those times.
I was in my early twenties and living at home with my 
parents still, which was fine then. Our telephone rang, I answered and it was a lady we know stating her rental house was available. Great, I’ll tell my bother and sister-in-law was my thought. As I walked up to the finished attic that served as my living room and bedroom, I kept hearing, ‘It’s for you.’ Each time, it was if I could turn around and see somebody standing and saying ‘It’s for you.’ A little spooky. Those words would not leave.
Okay, fine! I called the lady back and inquired about the small, shotgun-type house and, of course, her husband had the time to show it to me right then. So, I went to look at it. I picked it apart in my mind of what it needed, did not have and built my case to show the Lord it was not for me. No doubt, He knew I would try to prove Him wrong.
The biggest things were that there were no appliances (stove, refrigerator, washer/dryer). Nope, not for me. The old, ugly disgusting carpet was beyond my comprehension of dealing with. Nope, nasty.
It was that same week, my brother and sister-in-law moved to a new place, not this house. I come home and the garage door was open and my mother, a clean freak, was cleaning a stove and refrigerator to store away until needed. Of course, my mouth dropped and as told her what had just happened. It’s for me.
Everything lined up that I needed to start housekeeping.
As for the carpet, my aging neighbor had new carpet put in that week, too, and had the old brought down to our garage for me. Not knowing what was happening but because years before, I told her I like it. The garage filled up with everything I needed with no effort, but cleaning and moving.
This little house was mine to rent for a small amount and the owners paid for paint, new locks, etc., and another room of carpet because they knew it was for me and I would take care of it. It’s for me! I loved that little house and lived there seven years. I grew up spiritually in that house and learned to trust the Lord and my faith flourished.
Listen for His Voice. Trust the Lord and He will do exceedingly, abundantly all things. Remember what He has done for you. What an Awesome God we have.
This morning while walking early, as I do often and watch the sun rise over the tree tops feeling the crisp, cool air while I start my day, I often think and pray. Many days, I meet a friend and we walk together. As I was rounding the corner, hitting my first-mile marker, the thought and question came to me as to what is my motive in doing this. Where did that come from, I thought? Lord, what are you asking me with this question so I pondered it as I continued on walking.
As a child from a home that you just existed in with no real emotional support or touch, you (or I did) tend to reach out to anyone that will give that need, that mothering, direction, understanding, etc. It was my coping skills all through life of grasping love and attention. Now recognizing since being in her counseling sessions week after week, year after year, how could I not want her to be proud of me. I have spent more one-on-one time with her (well over 200 hours) than I have anyone, whether that be my own mother, siblings, or any family/friends to really know me.
Just sharing my life and present situation, as I try to adjust from one counselor of four years to another. I have to remember and remind myself that they are not the same.
As a client, we are allowed to ask questions. Also, prior to meeting with a new counselor, we should do our own due diligence and research of him/her. End result is to trust and go forward. Then the role is reversed, as the counselor asks many questions and gets to know us with our private, personal, deep-dark secrets and a relationship is built between a counselor-client of trust. 
It’s pretty awesome, especially when you can open up and share. Healing begins within you.
Counseling is not easy. Depending upon what you both are dealing with in these sessions, it is downright hard. Many times with my prior counselor, I have wanted to get up and leave in the middle of a session, other times never come back but I did because I was determined to move forward. It was no surprise to her, as we discussed those facts often. Thankfully, she was mean enough to put up with me and I appreciated and loved her more for that reason.
Just Pondering... 