Family

Dreams of Many

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Dreaming and seeing those we love, those that are living and those that have died, are my favorite.

I have good, movie-like dreams, in color, conversations and they are just so real.

Waking up from such a dream is bittersweet. Let me continue with it is often my thought but most times my thoughts will dwell on the dream that day, oftentimes writing them down or sharing.

A glimpse of the passing one brings joy to see them healthy and happy.

Just the other night, I had one of my oldest brother, we are eighteen years apart, who had passed in 2010. It was just us talking and laughing together. A joyous time I never had before with him.

Reason being, his wife was the talker and never gave him much of an opportunity to talk. There is definitely more to this story, but I’ll enjoy the good.

I managed to see him in a different light, as they say. Remembering the dream throughout the day and still, it brings joy. I never had that opportunity or much of a brother-sister relationship before with him.

Even this morning, waking up and remembering my fun dreams of this or that, the conversations, laughter, or moments involved, I would have loved to continue on sleeping and dreaming.

Wake up! Remember. Giggle or smile, as the thoughts come to mind of the silly twists and turns is what I normally do.

Dreams are funny in how our subconscious mind takes us to and fro with others and places, past and present.

Do you dream? Do you remember them? Are they happy dreams?

Lights Will Go Out

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I love the Christmas season, whether it is a white Christmas or not. The hustle and bustle of it all is fun, and watching the people around me be happier or some not so much either by being rushed or depression.

Since I host the holidays, my hustle is getting it all together. No time to enjoy. Christmas is the hardest. At times, I want to pass on the hostess position so I can take time to see the lights, visit more, go and do. Instead it is do this or that. Then, almost immediately after Christmas, the lights are turned off, Christmas music ends and back to normal. The decorations are removed and everything is darker and blah.

It hits me that I did not really enjoy any of it. Depression does not hit me but a sadness dwells until I adapt to the new winter normal. Soon, spring and Easter season will awaken the senses of a new beginning.

Life is like that. The ups and downs of seasons. Just hang on and know that the dark turns to light, just like each day we live. There is hope for the tomorrows and we move forward. Don’t give up! Ever!

So as Christmas Day is here and I ponder what my day will hold and onto what happens, I know there is brighter days ahead even without the Christmas lights and glimmer from decorations.

Today, I will enjoy the family, my children and to be present.

I hold onto joy within knowing that the Lord is with me in whatever season. He is with you, too!

Be Blessed – Merry Christmas

Online

ponderingmissylouLeave a comment

I sometimes wonder if other mothers are like me. As we have babies and they grow, we are the one who tends to them and the responsibility is great but so rewarding, even though we do get tired.

Once high school is over, these kids are venturing out in the world. Little by little as this moment of release, we have felt the relationship loosen its grip of needing mom. On the first one, I felt a grief and on the second, I recognized what I was sensing. A sadness, a grief of no longer being needed. I would, of course, always be their mom but not in the same role. It’s hard.

Then there is college. Wow! They are on their own in an unknown place , making unknown friends and having choices in all areas of good and bad. Mama has no control. There is no curfew or rules and a new-found freedom is exciting for them. All the while, as each child leaves, the ‘empty nest’ becomes real.

As a mom or as parents, we learn to live differently. Who is this man I married or vice versa, who am I to this man. A real test there may take place. The child(ren) find their path as the parent(s) do.

It’s been ten plus years with both of my children living on their own. Thankfully, college brought 4.0 grades for both and many good friends. There were some moments here and there but that’s life.

I don’t talk or call/text them daily and there may be days or weeks, as I know they have a life and busy. They will contact me at times, which I am overly thrilled and will stop what I am doing to share this time. I have learned to FaceTime with them, which is nerve wracking for me but normal for them. I’m learning. I’m blessed with two great young men.

They have had my prayers even before I had them and they will until my last breath. One thing, they will never have to doubt is my love or my prayers for them.

Tonight, and other times, I can see if they are online in certain social media outlets. I laughed at myself, as just seeing that, it gives me a peace. I see that they are there. I am here. It just kind of makes everything in the world okay for this mom.

I am their mom, always will be, online or offline. ❤️❤️