The Way

1DFD2EC3-6A6E-488D-9C5F-24EB36D0681AAgain, just to get away from the news and the numbers, I thought I would share a part of my life, if just for me. What’s your story? 

Growing up, I was not raised in a Christian home whereby prayer and church was present in our lives. We were always told that we could make our own decision about God and if we wanted to go to church, then go. Very odd, isn’t it? My parents were raised to go to church and they hated it.  My maternal grandfather and great-grandfather were both Baptist preachers. I always found my grandfather interesting to see and listen to when we would visit, which was not often due to distance. My dad’s father was a deacon. Church was not a choice for them.89D4587D-3480-474E-B4F7-6B58CC57867D

In our large family, with me being the youngest, it was almost like being the only child due to being seven years between my sister and I. Oftentimes I was just be present and I heard a lot and have seen a lot. I would sit out of the way and be quiet. It was nothing to hear laughter, jokes and things little girls should not hear. I can still hear the clanking of beer bottles from the big brown beer case as they came in the house, of which I heard often. Oftentimes I was a delivery person when told to go get me a beer, and I did. 

Even though I was not raised to worship and pray, I always felt a drawing and as a young child I knew there was a God.  Perhaps with me going to Vacation Bible School each summer with the family nearby, I heard enough that I was convinced there was a God even though I did not go to the altar to proclaim salvation, I knew enough to have faith, as a child880BBAEA-674D-444C-B3DF-9C0A6AEB8503

Growing up the way I did though, I assumed that is life. You work, you drink, and repeat daily and on the weekend you drink more. Had it not been for my shorthand teacher in my senior year to ask the class what our plans were after graduation, I would have been stuck in that mode as the rest of them for years, if not still.

College was not as prevalent back then so we each pretty much shrugged our shoulders. It was a small class, as there was not much interest in shorthand but I loved it and still use. With our blank look back at her and having no idea what our futures held, she took the three of us to the vocational school and my friend and I signed up for the business and office class.

Looking back, just with her bold move to do this with me and my friend, it would have got her in a lot of problems, if today. We both took her advice, did what she said, completed the class and enjoyed it.

A7444428-9223-47B9-97BC-18B5B2CE22BEI love to look back over my life and see the Hand of God in each step in how He orchestrated it all and even still. He does have a plan and a purpose for each of us. He will get us to where we are to be. We might cause detours along the way, but He will pick us back up and get us back on track.

I met a lot people in class from all walks of life, but I met this one girl that was on her way out to start a career but enough time to build a friendship. When it was my time to leave after completion, I had my first real job. At this office, I got to know many but usually there is always one you gravitate to and become not only co-workers but friends. To find out, she was related to the girl in class, they were cousins so now I am friends with both.

My co-worker and I became good friends. After a bit, I found out her father was a Baptist preacher so I started attending their church. Many times being in their home staying over, as friends do, I watched what a normal family was like. No beer, no alcohol, no dirty jokes or cuss words. The complete opposite of mine and I liked it.

Still as life went forward, I was saved. My heart was beating so fast and I knew it was the time to go to the altar. As I write, I laugh with tears falling in seeing this all played out like a movie, in my mind. I laugh because when I am at the altar, the preacher and three others, I assume deacons were with me, too, as we stood in a circle. The preacher said let’s pray. It was me that prayed aloud in this group for my salvation, they all just stood there. Amen. It had to have been the preacher to say, well there you go, I believe she is saved. No doubt they were shaking their heads, laughing at the dinner table that day of what just transpired. No doubt about it, I was saved. Perhaps it was my grandfather and my great-grandfather, both Baptist preachers, coming out in me. Amen.

Even though I can laugh now and cry tears of joy, I also feel the sense of shame I have carried through the years of praying when they were to pray, for me. I do not know why I did that, but it came automatic. The sense of shame making me feel like a fool that day and I honestly have felt a hindrance since, in praying out loud. I just realized that, it is shame. Wow! I wonder if this is my turning point.

6614C487-1ED0-472C-A026-BB93B30A4FB4I still have the white Bible that was given to me by by this Baptist preacher’s family. Somewhere in this time period, The Way, a Bible to easily understand and read was given to me or I bought. I don’t know, but I loved it. I was so joyous of being a Christian and having this Bible, I stayed up all night reading it. I remember my dad getting up for work and surprised that I was awake and reading. I had joy. I could not get enough of the Word of God in me.

Life moves forward, of course, and I was blessed to have been connected from one friend to another to get to where I was and am today.  Evident of God’s mercy and grace.

Back to The Way, I had a neighbor friend, we had grown up together playing outside, riding bikes and all but never close friends as we got older. I found out that she was in the hospital. Knowing she needed to change her ways or 9ABCFDB1-FF9C-4AD4-AA48-046A0ADDB31Fshe would end up back in there or worse. I took my Bible, The Way, to her and we talked and I witnessed to her as best as I knew how being a young Christian. Thankfully she was very receptive and accepted my my Bible.  I planted a seed.

Knowing her life was not a bed of roses and had many issues through the years thereafter, her two children both grown, now she is a grandmother and raising her grandchildren. Her daughter had lost her rights to her children due to repeated drugs usage and rehabs. Such a sad way to live.

Approximately forty years ago, I gave my friend my Bible, The Way. Since I always loved it, I went searching to find another and about five years ago I found it, bought it, read it, loved it still. I was so excited to have it once again in my possession, on my bookshelf.

Little did I know and I am sure this was no coincidence but my friend’s daughter was out of rehab again and staying in an apartment near my home, living with friends. Different times we would meet out in the yard and talk. While trying her best to get her life together, it was always a battle but she knew that God was the one to turn to. Asking if I would take her to church. Many discussions and plans were made to take her to church with me, with excuses each time. One night, standing on my sidewalk talking yet again, I told her to wait, I needed to get something for her. Yes, I gave her my Bible, The Way. Also receptive of receiving, as her mother did.BE0F9289-EC0B-4796-9658-3FDE43DF319B

How interesting that two generations, the mother and daughter, each got my Bible, The Way.  I am unsure if a page was even read or the Bible even opened or maybe it was thrown away, but they both had a seed planted of God’s Love.

We may not know how our actions or our encouragement will lift up others but it is worth a try to do such. Right now, many need encouragement and hope like never before. What we can do is to give to others whether it is a smile (no cost), a word of encouragement (no cost) or hope (no cost) as much as we can.  If they can see Christ in us, it points them to ‘THE WAY’ of the Cross.

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https://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/in-touch/in-touch-mar-1-2012.html

SALVATION… anytime, anywhere, 24/7

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Terrified with Faith

I am at a point in my life where I am being pushed forward into the unknown somewhat, wondering if can I do it.  Questioning myself and God of how this situation A78CCC54-9AE9-4C38-A21F-22660E7039D5had all come about so perfectly but the doubt hovering over me with what if I fail?  The balancing act with many encouraging me and those that I have shared my hesitation with, their encouragement that will support me either way. At times, that did not help, still feeling at a loss as to what to do. In the past few weeks, a part of me desiring that somebody would say, just do it, taking my hand and leading me, helping me and conquer this fear. I’m scared, okay terrified.

BC147DB3-4AD4-429B-A91E-E087A8314780I am sure I am not alone when trying to make a big decision, allowing faith to manifest but fear lurking around every corner.  We all have to make decisions in life with jobs, marriage, education, purchases, etc.  Adulting is hard, even at my age.

As I was being encouraged by a lawyer friend yesterday to go forward and expressing my fear and hesitation, I asked him if he experienced this when going to law school. Without hesitation, he said he was terrified. Today, he is one of the finest lawyers I know. His position just did not happen overnight, as he had to face fear head on.  Just his words of, ‘I was terrified’ brought comfort, knowing what I am feeling is normal. Sometimes knowing normal is not just a dryer setting, can take pressure off of an anxious mind. I realized that when with my former counselor, a lot of what I thought and felt was quite normal. It is the shame-based thoughts that keep us bound by thinking we are not normal, something is wrong with us.

Dealing with the weight of this matter on my mind and 5C5859A9-7215-4E34-AA86-FE897089F51Bmaking a final decision this week, I felt encouraged upon waking.  I have dreams and sometimes they are so real, just like this morning. Sitting quietly in a church service but next to a side wall not in a pew, my pastor came over to me. He took my hands and held them, looking at me and just said, ‘You know He is with you.’ How encouraging! Yes, it was a dream a spiritual dream, but I do believe and know that God can speak to us in them. Perhaps because our mind is quiet and He can get our (my) attention.

ID0F6AF27-7611-4796-BB3D-EEC4392F8B2Dn my quiet time this morning, of course, with coffee nearby and before I start my day cleaning and enjoying my home, I was reading scripture.  Just so happened, guess what I turned to and read first?  Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” How awesome it is to know that God’s Words are LIFE words soothing our soul, that brings calmness to our spirit and giving power and joy to our day.  He is with me. He is with you. We just have to quiet our minds, whether sleeping and in a dream to be reminded or in the moment acknowledging Him as we go about our busy, chaotic lives.  That’s God. Trust Him.

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9 Bible Promises About Your Sleep, Dreams and Night Hours

 

Fire in my Hands

It was in my early twenties, attending a local church, being somewhat taken under Millie’s wing to teach me and mentor me, we became like a dynamic duo.  I was more confident in myself as a now adult and being a Christian.

Parcel wrapped in mottled brown paper with coarse rope and buff tag

Millie led a class called, Discovering Your Spiritual Gifts, relating to what our spiritual gifts are, an 8-week class, I believe. I just remembered this tonight and still the excitement floods my mind.   When she was out of town, I would lead the class and no intimidation or fear was there.  I did it.  I forgot the joy. 055B49EB-BA84-45A6-AFEE-62456C25305A

On several occasions, we would travel to different locations to attend conferences.  The first one was unforgettable and life changing.  It was at this time, a desire to write a book became alive in me.  Since, it has always been on my mind.

Millie moved away due to her job and I moved to another church and got involved there. Life changes and while some things halted, other things moved forward. Life.

A lot has happened between my early twenties and now, almost sixty years old.  Still, my mind is always thinking and writing whether I do write a book or not.  This blog has helped me this past year to open up and share. Thank you for reading.

D5D95F50-E590-46A1-9184-2BAD57550D3FAs for a book, doesn’t everyone want to write a book?  Why would anyone want to read mine?  Questions I keep repeating all of these years.  Who knows but God.

About two weeks ago though, I had something interesting A24BEBD7-5675-47B8-8BE9-A1AFCFA7409Ehappen.  I am at yet another ladies conference.  I am standing by myself with my hands lifted up in front of me, palms up and looking at them, praying.  Lord, if it is meant for me to write, let fire of your anointing flow through my fingers as I type.  A simple prayer and I moved on enjoying the service.

At the end, during the altar call, I stood.  A lady behind me and to my left side tapped me on my shoulder asking if she could pray for me.  Sure.  With that she grabbed another lady for prayer, too.  The three of us, hands held, and she prayed.  There was a hesitation, she stopped and asked me if I was a teacher. No, I am not.  Again she asked, are you sure?  I’m sure.  Now I began to wonder where this was going.  I mentioned my office work and that I write, I love to write.  Again, she stopped, looked at me and said, ‘You do know that a writer is a teacher and a teacher is a writer.’  No, I did not, never gave it a thought.  Other things were said, too.  It was then the third lady holding my right hand in 1B8E3F64-2FDE-4D71-87E1-E321B276776Cprayer, she also took my left hand, holding them both up and said, ‘I see fire coming from your hands.’  Now being still, taking this all in, it was like wait a minute.  I am thinking, Lord, I know she did not hear me pray, my prayer earlier.  Then she said to me, ‘You are like a Wonder Woman.’  Then I stopped and no doubt my mouth dropped open.  I know neither of these women knew me but with the prayer, prophetic word, the fire in my hands and Wonder Woman being mentioned, I knew God was in the midst.  Plus, I had just wrote about Wonder Woman that week, and I said that I was Wonder Woman.  (The blog is called 002969B5-4848-4AB9-A8FD-C6C3EEEC1304Kryptonite.)

Talk about a WOW moment, my faith was sky high and there was a laughter within me. Still. Not of disbelief with the laughter but of amazement because only the Lord could have pulled that off through these ladies that I have never met before and He used them.

I do not know what the future holds, if there will be a book although I have the title ready, or how this will come about, etc.  One thing I do know is that the Lord will open the doors if so and will be glorified from the beginning to the end.90EED108-0511-49E3-8AF2-FA826494C5EC

I have to trust He has placed a spiritual gift(s) within me years ago.  To just now remember that time and the class, and teaching it, I am amazed.  It’s like, Lord, just what are you doing?  In all those years, I had to walk through some dark places to be where I am.  What I do know, too, is that He knows where I am today and He knows where I am going.

Same with you.  You have a story, a testimony and gifts to help another and many others, to give hope. Trust Him.

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