Today, as I read an article about the do’s and the don’ts, how to find a good counselor, etc., that popped up on my Facebook timeline, I became sad.
While everything lined up according to the article of my counselor, but I had no doubt it would, plus I had trust in her. At the time of her leave of absence, now just over three months, I was ready for the next, hopefully last hurrah of our sessions. To graduate was always a joke between us.
It was if we were at a juncture of hitting some serious points in my therapy on the head and this leave came about. It’s just like the enemy to stop progression in my healing and cause issues in her own life. Looking at it that way, I have felt it was and is my fault for her to be on a medical leave. For me to feel at fault, that is also the childhood emotional neglect within me, accepting blame.
Spiritually speaking though, you will understand my comment because Satan does not want me, her or you to succeed and be healed. His goal is to kill, steal and destroy.
Realistically, she just needed time to care for herself and I understand and value that in her. But still, I miss her and grieve. 
Even reading articles about ending sessions, how to deal with and what to do by pulling the techniques provided and taught through the many counseling sessions, I do understand and I try but closure is not there.
With her leave of absence, I’m left dangling and there is an unsettledness within me.
Narrowing down my thoughts and feelings, not just with my counselor but in life itself, I am left pondering and feeling lost at times. Why do the questions within always remain open-ended, the confusion felt overwhelm me and the plots and twists in so many areas just don’t connect?
Even through the dangling, time heals. I do know that the Lord will get me to where I am to be and place the right people in my path. I just have to trust Him.
Theres a blog, there’s a Facebook page. There are articles left and right, at a touch of a key, and I can find what I need. Although I am afraid to look, see and read.
Pondering everything and noticing a difference in me this past week has been interesting. Apparently, I have changed, there has been healing within me. Quite shocking!
Just Pondering... 