Pondering everything and noticing a difference in me this past week has been interesting. Apparently, I have changed, there has been healing within me. Quite shocking!
Years upon years I have yearned for love, especially motherly-type love from certain ones and I would be so hurt if ignored or not hugged.
My mind within was screaming, please love me. My body would tense of the ache from this internal voice screaming.
Understanding childhood emotional neglect, abandonment issues, moreso, and how this lack of love affected me from youth to old age, has been eye opening.
Through the past four years in counseling and as my counselor listened and help me see the why in my craziness with this, she helped calm that by giving me a hug after our sessions.
Maybe she could hear my mind screaming, ‘PLEASE HUG ME’ as I was struggling just in our sessions. Maybe she could see within my eyes the anguish I felt within my heart. Maybe she has the heart of God to reach out to the child stuck within me. I have no doubt, all of those reasons came into play.
By all rights, she did not have to hug me but I truly feel that she felt the pain within me. Her hugs helped heal the hurts and void within. Being heard and understood goes a long way.
To trust her with this deep, emotional pain and be honest with her, brought freedom each time. It was not easy.
Those hugs were not required by her but for healing within me, they were.
Still healing. Still welcome hugs but not required.