Healing

Dreams of Many

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Dreaming and seeing those we love, those that are living and those that have died, are my favorite.

I have good, movie-like dreams, in color, conversations and they are just so real.

Waking up from such a dream is bittersweet. Let me continue with it is often my thought but most times my thoughts will dwell on the dream that day, oftentimes writing them down or sharing.

A glimpse of the passing one brings joy to see them healthy and happy.

Just the other night, I had one of my oldest brother, we are eighteen years apart, who had passed in 2010. It was just us talking and laughing together. A joyous time I never had before with him.

Reason being, his wife was the talker and never gave him much of an opportunity to talk. There is definitely more to this story, but I’ll enjoy the good.

I managed to see him in a different light, as they say. Remembering the dream throughout the day and still, it brings joy. I never had that opportunity or much of a brother-sister relationship before with him.

Even this morning, waking up and remembering my fun dreams of this or that, the conversations, laughter, or moments involved, I would have loved to continue on sleeping and dreaming.

Wake up! Remember. Giggle or smile, as the thoughts come to mind of the silly twists and turns is what I normally do.

Dreams are funny in how our subconscious mind takes us to and fro with others and places, past and present.

Do you dream? Do you remember them? Are they happy dreams?

Wrong Words

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Here I am, beating myself up over words spoken, jokingly, but truth.

Have you ever said something and regret later? Surely I am not alone. Please tell me I am not alone. You are not alone.

Thinking after the words exploded from my mouth, I regretted. Yes, it was funny. Yes, it was and is truth. Still, it should have remained closed lipped, but didn’t.

I have learned a lot about forgiveness through the years, of forgiving others that have hurt me. I have also caught onto the fact of forgiving myself. That is a big step, not being self-centered, but necessary.

Slowly, it is sinking in. I was wrong. I learned a lesson today, and I will never repeat what I said, even though I think it. This is my funny, sarcastic comment that should remain within.

Forgive others. Forgive yourself.

“It is just as necessary to forgive ourselves as it is to forgive others, and the principal reason why forgiveness seemed so difficult is because we have neglected to forgive ourselves.” Christian D. Larson

What If?

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Make them stop! What if this. What if that. Just what if….

We never know the what if even though the question consume our mind at times. We deal with it and keep moving forward to figure it all out. Most of the time, the worry of what if was useless. We still do it.

Here I am facing surgery in less than two weeks. So much to do and prepare. Will I succeed in conquering everything, I wonder. It even comes to the point, if I do, great and if I don’t, oh well.

It’s crazy how our thoughts bombard our mind and place fear. Of course, surgery is serious and it is normal to feel anxiety and even fear. Even tonight, as my mind goes here and there, the BIG question, what if I die?

That also is a normal response. What if? Well, I realized there are things I need to get done or want to do and so on. It won’t matter. The constant ‘to do’ list in my daily life will not exist. I have to be honest, there was somewhat of a relief in that brief moment. It was a good thing, as fear left. It will not matter one little bit. Of course, others will need to take care of my leftovers but that’s normal, too.

So I get done what I can before surgery and what I don’t get finished or tended to, I will pick up after I am healed enough to do so and keep on enjoying life.

It’s nice to put the ‘what-ifs’ away. Worry adds nothing but additional stress.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7