Let Me Finish, Please!

C9F8A983-5BB4-4A18-9CB0-85F985DD35C0So much to say and to interject but I keep getting interrupted. Seriously! What gives? Am I not important? Are my comments not of importance? Sometimes I feel invisible and not seen or heard.867C00A7-A039-4719-AA6C-7B147C1EA052

This past weekend, I noticed this more than usual. It happens often but it got on my last nerve although I held it together and soon just shook my head, as it happened yet again. No wonder I am a quiet person and often felt insignificant in life.

I was with my sister last weekend, who lives about four hours away, so we were together all weekend. I love those weekends until she shuts me down in our conversations. I know our time is limited but geez Louise. Talking and laughing, we do a lot and to get it all in or out of our system seemed to be the case. We are both older so time is definitely limited. Faye is sixteen years older than I am but when we are together, we can shop, go and do, just not as long.

Still, I would start talking and then she would, over and over, interrupt me. I give up. I am patient but on the inside at times I found myself screaming, 336D8D78-1CC9-483C-95FB-81A271F5B2B4listen to me as I am not finished talking. I just move on and forget my information or story, who cares, is my attitude.  Maybe I am boring but still she doesn’t know me truly but this has been my life. Nobody really knows me. Perhaps this is why I like to write.

Anyway, I found it interesting and somewhat funny that when I met with my present counselor on the following Tuesday, he did the same, interrupted me. Good gravy!  It’s my counseling session, let me talk as I am not finished talking and telling whatever I was mentioning to him. That session was odd but usually they flow well. Was it me or was it him?

While I see another counselor also on Thursday, which is a whole other story that I can write about, of seeing two counselors. In that session, I did talk a lot and I probably had her head swimming although she said she was following me. We both laughed. I told her that my former counselor would be so proud of me for talking so much, as I was always quiet for the most part, listening and grasping her words and wisdom and rightfully so. I grew in those four years of counseling sessions, as I needed direction and healing in many areas and it was not always easy. Not that I am not growing now because I am but it is different with both counselors, and I am okay with that, as it is a transitional period for me, I feel. It’s all good, actually pretty nice. They are both awesome and I feel blessed to have them help me move forward, it is like accelerated counseling.

Thank God I am not the same person I was five years ago.

So if you made it this far in my writing of this blog, thank you. You let me finish. lol  I do enjoy laughter and hope this made you smile.  F95EC62A-46DB-443A-BF27-1452BB4CD7E7

Hope you have a wonderful day.

8E5CE35F-578B-4D3F-986C-8000175D2679Most importantly…                                                                    He knows my voice and He knows your voice.

 

 

Lock the Damn Door!

30189D04-BCD5-4CB7-9D4F-1C00CCB0582EHow many times do I have to say or write a post-it note so that he will get it? This drives me absolutely insane. Perhaps that is the plan.  Hmm…

We live on a street with apartments and new people move in all the time, some of not so great reputation. While the last few months have been quiet, that was not always the case due to drug dealers, drug busts, fights, etc.  I have the pictures to prove up to ten police cars, fire trucks and ambulances at one time, at various times.  What fear it brings when pulling into our short, dead-end street to see all these emergency vehicles in front of my home and in my driveway, at times, too.

It has been nuts and one weekend, about a year ago, I placed heavy blankets on our front windows so we could move about in our own home. Not a good situation to live in fear within your own home.  Thankfully, that wild, drug-dealing group is gone.

The buildings are in bad shape, which is another reason rent is so cheap that keeps this situation reoccurring time after time.  The buildings cannot last much longer, although I have been saying that for years.  I have hope!  For us to move, we could end up elsewhere with same issues plus I like my house.

C214E6AF-EC51-44CA-B2F1-74F67FD3F799So, my husband goes out to mow and tend to the yard.  He goes out the front door, leaving it unlocked while working in our backyard. Nowadays, you do not leave your house unattended to, such as a garage, front door unlocked, etc.  This is not Mayberry anymore.  Still, today B50A5EDA-FB10-497C-B6CF-96915D61C3F9I just walked in, unlocked door, and he is in back mowing.  Fear hits, more times than others, of what could be or could happen. As many times as we have had this conversation, it is a lack of respect for me and my safety, I feel.

Having someone in my home back many years ago when I lived with my parents and while I was home for lunch, not knowing but gut instinct, it all started to add up days later with things missing.  I remember thinking my parent’s bedroom door was closed more than usual and thought that was odd.  Realizing later, he probably was behind the door.  It brings a violation of our privacy and fear.  My husband knows of this incident and of my concerns.  Still he repeats.

5D9C3255-3689-4DF5-8130-93BB076CF6CCAs you and I both know, drugs will cause people to do whatever.  While I may not have the perfect ten for a body and with my age but thoughts of rape are there, as I am still a woman and I have heard worse incidents of such.  To be hit and knocked out in order to steal, shot or even killed is not uncommon these days.  When I am home alone, I keep my doors locked. Not necessarily out of fear but just common sense.

There is a movie that I enjoy watching called, The Help. Odds are you have seen it, too.  The young girl opens the door and goes into the office for an interview and then when she leaves and the boss screams both times, ‘shut the damn door’ so I think of that scene and hear his voice each time I walk into my unlocked house but thinking or saying, ‘lock the damn door.’  In my frustration, humor is needed.

No matter where we are, whether it be in our homes, out walking or shopping, vacation, in the car, etc., we must pray and trust the Lord to put a hedge of protection around us.

B479B773-54B0-4A1D-B09B-861DEBECCB3B