I Became Her

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The other night I had to laugh at myself, as I was reading something with my reading glasses on and looked up, realizing my glasses were lower on my nose, and I am looking over the rim. When I was young, I’d see older D686905C-1D11-421E-B8BA-B51B3989E663women doing just this and hated it, thinking I will never do that. I became her.

Going back in my memories, my parents would dress up and go to company dinners. I was young and was always fascinated watching my mom put makeup on at the bathroom mirror, as most little girls do. When finished and the final step was the lipstick, as she would always give a quick pucker-up kiss as a stamp of approval.  I stood in the doorway, just watching and waiting. Before she started the process of applying makeup though, the Oil of Olay 28BC5192-DB01-4419-8E45-0D3C94E0B990would be smeared on her face, with me asking why she does that. Of course, her reply was that it was to reduce wrinkles. I told her that I was not going to have wrinkles. I still remember her slight laughter and saying, okay we will see how that works out. I became her.

F57FFC5C-C925-4E3A-8D64-CCF2AB296D17Another time with mom, she loved Jergens hand lotion and used regularly. I looked at her hands and from years and age, her skin was looser than mine, being a child, as I observed the differences. Of course in my child’s mind and stating the fact, my hands will not look like that. Today, I have aged and I see my mother’s hands when I look at my own. I became her.

When I was in fifth grade, my teacher was so pretty. I was at an age of growing up, going through puberty. While I had sisters and my mom, they were too busy to help me in areas that young girls should know about. I watched this teacher, admired her hair, how she dressed, matching shoes, jewelry, plus she had a sweet and caring personality. To me, she was a role model, and I learned by observing and paying attention to details, which have helped me through my life. I became her.

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As I was in my senior year of high school, not knowing what I was going to do after graduation when asked by the shorthand/typing teacher. I really and truly had no ideal what the future held for me. It was when she not asked if we wanted to go but said we were going to the local Vocational School for Business & Office training. This teacher took two of us to visit the school, and we signed up because she said to, so my friend and I went to Vocational School. This has been my livelihood since 1977. With her teaching me, leading me, actually guided my life, I have been able to succeed and teach others. I became her.

During this pandemic, with no haircuts and a lot of things we take for granted were not being had. As I was working in the yard, I had a bandana around my neck as my sister visited and I pulled up over my mouth and nose, not knowing what we were all dealing with and respect for her. As I continued to work, sweating but making progress with our landscape, I took that bandana and slipped it on my head, holding back my hair that is now longer than usual. I went into the house at one point and glanced at a mirror on the way out, stopped and laughed as I saw my mom’s reflection look back at me, as she would wear a bandana the same way. I became her.DE7D0BC6-5908-4C15-9461-DDFDA9063584

Many have been in my life as role models, some as a mother figure to help me, to care and to give me those hugs that I longed for in my life. So many helped me know how to be a Christian and mature in my faith. Others, helped me understand life and who I am. To be a wife and a mother, and how to love and teach my children, I watched many through the years. Plus, how to be a good daughter-in-law and how to be a good mother-in-law. I have been touched by so many in my life and I can truly say from each one, I became her. Blessed

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 We tend to become like those we admire.” Thomas Monson
“Sometimes a teacher is the only positive role model a student will see each day.”
“God puts people in our lives on purpose so we can help them succeed and help them become all He created them to be. Most people will not reach their full potential without somebody else believing in them.” Joel Osteen 

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Time Flies

4C6249DE-08C3-4EBE-BB38-B22FD92418AEToday is my oldest son’s birthday and he is twenty-nine years old. To those of you who are a mother, no doubt you probably re-live the day you had your child(ren). I tend to go down memory lane each and every year and today is no different.

This morning as I was getting ready to leave the house at 5:45 am to go walk, I thought back of that time twenty-nine years ago. I was just rushed in for an emergency c-section and there was activity all around me but soon a baby boy was in my arms. He was perfect.820A2C9E-E33D-432E-A1C0-2D1A5C6911AC

His birth, making me a first-time mom was life-changing. My faith in the Lord grew, as I admired this little baby, that belongs to me, and I remember saying, ‘how can people not believe in God.’

A profound love was felt deep within me that I never knew existed and this love will never end but will continue to grow stronger.

Happy Birthday Son! Mom ❤️

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How Much More?

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When it rains, it pours! We have all heard that saying through the years and most likely experienced such by saying reluctantly, and maybe in anger. Just how much more?

2B631403-CBB3-459A-B8C7-7EFD8ED07B62We are all experiencing this pandemic worldwide and it has affected each of us in some way or another.

Many students have waited a lifetime to enjoy their senior year and to graduate, walking proudly to receive the diploma as well as the parents reaching this milestone, only to be non-existent. A sense of grief occurs for all, as there will be no prom, no senior skip day, no final anything, everything disappeared.3F3B820A-958F-4EB7-B1DC-6382BD257460

The fog within the mind remains, questioning the present and future. On top of that, for many work has ceased, now to remain at home so the normalcy of the daily grind comes to a halt. The fog becomes even more dense, grasping just what is happening and trying to make sense of it all. Still, the hope of we will get through this remains and keeps us moving forward, making the best of the situations being dealt.

It is when on top of all of this, how can it get any worse, right? Sadly it can, in many ways and for many people.

The icing on the cake for my sweet friend was when she was diagnosed with breast cancer recently. Now the anger comes, and rightfully so. At times afraid to even think or 14DAA72A-FCF9-41B9-A356-93DEBB265D4Bsay, how much more? How can it get any worse? Knowing faith will need to step in and bring peace to carry her through this whole ordeal. No doubt the thoughts linger in wondering what is in store and what the future holds. All the while being supportive with her family during this time, and with her oldest daughter being a senior that will graduate although there will be no ceremony. Basically, here is your diploma and we wish you the best in life.

Lost in the fog and trying to find a way out but the visibility is impossible, while reaching to find clarity and the light of day. Confusion with it all. How much more?

This is indeed what my dear friend, my co-worker is experiencing. My heart aches for her and the family being hit from one side to another. Questioning myself, how much more can this family withstand?  I am even angry at times for her, feeling the grief, the confusion, uncertainties and wanting to reach in the fog to drag her out.

86279495-4B21-4F59-98C3-5497A9422609While I am dealing with the pandemic and my work situation right now, too, I get frustrated and feel anxiety kick in, which is normal for everyone right now. To have hope, and we all need hope, knowing we will all get through this, and we will.

My anxiousness lessens in this when I place myself in my friend’s shoes, knowing my troubles are nothing compared, and I need to support her through this. In life, there is always somebody, and we have all said or thought, that has it worse off than we do. In that, you keep moving forward, knowing you can get through this. Many others have it worse than my friend, so that keeps her moving forward, knowing she can get through this, too. We need to have and feel the hope in life, in order to push through, as we will all get through this. Hold on to the hope within!

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Nehemiah 8:10 Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Exodus 15:2 The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.