What an interesting year, last year, it was for me, experiencing the ups and downs of life and holding on through it all. How about you? As we are now over the holidays and the start of another year, how did you do and how are you holding up?
Remember, no mater what comes, we are resilient enough to move through struggles, heartaches, pain, tears, etc., even though it may not feel as such. The thoughts of give up, I cannot do this anymore or I have had enough seems to be constant thoughts or verbal outbursts at times, I know with me. Normal. Still, keep going forward as tomorrow is another day, and the days after that.
Life can knock us down at times in many circumstances 
but do not stay down. Acknowledge within yourself that you have been through worse probably and are stronger than what is front of you. Most importantly, put your trust in the Lord. Walk and live by faith, not by sight.
Don’t crumble but conquer so that the joy in your life becomes evident to yourself and to others. It’s there, sometimes we have to fight for it.
life and having them, I knew I had to plow through the lies, betrayal and whatever else was thrown at me. All of this was not just me thinking it, it was actually happening in my life and then in my mind it would work overtime convincing me that I am worthless. The hopelessness loomed over me like a dark cloud, and I remained quiet within my safe cocoon, not sharing my emotions and the chaos within. Due to those that I thought loved me, I felt saddened and that nobody could be trusted, I pulled away from everyone, keeping my distance.
inside and really nobody cared, even the church. Perhaps I had made myself so invisible. With those sitting on the same pew and around me or even the Pastor looking out at the congregation, I was alone, screaming inside for somebody to help me. How to help me? I did not know but 
any glimmer of hope was snatched and held onto, if just a smile or a pat on my arm. There was hope, that I was still among the living.
In this time period also, it was when I was at a sports or a musical event in a big arena. I remember sitting there by myself but I know others were with me, although I felt alone whether they were there or not in that season of my life. As I sat there and looked around, I saw a shiny object in the corner, under a seat. Of course, I was curious as to 
what it was so I managed to pick it out of the yuck in the corner. It was a ring. A simple silver, not sterling or of value really, but it had HOPE wrote on it. One of those moments you think and smile, thank you Lord of HOPE.
Last night, as I stood at my kitchen counter cutting up vegetables for our Christmas dinner, I could not help but to think of how many others are doing just the same. While some are celebrating Christmas already and the joy felt in these homes, with children screaming with delight 
or perhaps a child already crying over something while a mother and father are exhausted from putting the final touches for their Christmas celebration.
I did not understand the emotional pain endured for years and the isolation I put myself in while wearing a mask with work or public appearances. I definitely struggled, fighting through a depressive state. Thank God I had my children as they were my focus to hold on but even in that, I am sure they did not feel the true joy in my life, as their mother. Still, I managed and I am here, perhaps just for someone to read my own experiences and to give hope. Thank God, He did not give up on me.
over my head. As the Bible says, the enemy is out to kill, steal and destroy. He wanted to knock me out.
broken areas of my life, which I am still working on and plan to continue. This was my past and is my present.
Just Pondering... 