Let The Lord

Many, many years ago, I had a friend since childhood but we lost touch but then reconnected. She has known me for years and my family, growing up. For a long time, we walked and enjoyed the time together talking and laughing.

Then it came a point I became overwhelmed basically with two toddlers and elderly parents. We lost one another again.

Later, my children were older and my mother had passed. We walked, but seldom. It was after my father passing, being an Administrator of the estate, the greed and claws come out of various family members.

No matter what I did, it was wrong. There is always one or in my case two that can stir up issues. These two seemed to find all my friends or those that knew our family and if anyone would listen, they rip me apart.

I am sure some saw through the talk and stirring up strife they caused but I gave up.

Thinking I could go to each one and share my side of the story was overwhelming. I was emotionally drained and added grief of not only losing my parents, but my friends. Now, who to trust was my dilemma.

My conclusion was that if those that listened and believed the one side, where they really friends anyway? Could I fight through and push the truth? Sure. Why though?

Sometimes there are those that need to talk and feel as the victim. If only the others knew my side and the stories I could share. Let it go. Easy? No!

I had to hold onto the words, let the Lord fight my battles and trust Him. Easy? No! I had to!

Just this weekend, I invited my walking friend to a home party I am having with a note that I miss her. Today, I have not had a reply. Will she come? I don’t know but I opened the door to welcome her. Or will it open up the door to the words spoken against me?

Again, I let the Lord fight by battles. What happened, what was said and still, the harm done, etc., is the past. I cannot do a thing about it or erase.

I’ve been ripped to shreds BUT GOD.

Sadly, this happens quite a bit in families with an estate.

Sometimes God will fight the actual battle through you, other times He will simply tell you to hold your position and do absolutely nothing, and then He will move Himself to completely take out the attack coming against you. This is where God shows you how powerful and how awesome He really is when He moves into battle to personally protect you.

https://www.bible-knowledge.com/god-will-fight-your-battles/

Forgive? Forget?

When years have passed and a lot of bitter waters flowed within a family, there comes a time to block a relationship and go the other way. One of the best moves I have ever done and actually the first time, to block a member of my own family from the hatred messages received. There was peace. To block one is very powerful and freeing. Why didn’t I do that sooner? I allowed a lot of unnecessary stress and tears before hitting the option, to block or not to block. Block.

It was their choice to cut family ties years before and pretend I was dead, actually they wished I was, no doubt. After going through years of this, I welcomed this divide.

To my surprise, I had a message awaiting me, which surprised me as I blocked her. Apparently, a new profile requesting friendship on Facebook allows this to happen but all I could say or think was, “I’m Good.” I am. I have enjoyed the peace and quiet. Whatever is said or done, that is on them. I will not allow myself to be harassed or stressed anymore. A decision to be a ‘friend’ on Facebook and then to send a message of, “Let Bygones Be Bygones” still, “I’m Good” with no reply. It’s best to leave well enough alone.

So epiphany came to mind.

Epiphany is an “Aha!” moment. As a literary device, epiphany (pronounced ih-pif–uh-nee) is the moment when a character is suddenly struck with a life-changing realization which changes the rest of the story. Often, an epiphany begins with a small, everyday occurrence or experience.

The movie, "Monster-In-Law" of a daughter-in-law (Charlie) to-be speaks to an upcoming mother-in-law on the wedding day after being so manipulative and jealous of the couple's relationship and trying to stop the wedding in however way she could. Finally saying the marriage could go forward. Charlie says, "What, am I supposed to believe that you've had some epiphany? That all of the sudden everything is going to be different?" 

Actually, a “Come to Jesus’ moment is another way to think of this epiphany when it happens after years of being gossiped and lied about for years to those I know. Hopefully, those listening to the non-stop lies and gossip, they realized just what the one speaking really is and sees them for that. I cannot concern myself with what was or is said or believed. I did for a long time, but I had to let it go.

As much as it deeply hurt, I wanted to go behind them to fight my case, as there are always two sides to a story. I could also smear their reputation just as well but it is not worth my time or energy. In time, all I could and can do is to wait and let God fight my battles. In time, those that heard all the talk will understand, as they definitely felt the need to be heard in order to feel bigger and better. Some need that drama. I don’t have to say a word or defend my position.

My place was to remain in peace within myself, process the hurt and pain as I could but in the end, to forgive. Forgiveness is for me.

You Can Forgive Someone, But That Doesn’t Mean They Need To Stay In Your Life. But forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to keep that person in your life.

In a word – absolutely! Forgiveness is the foundation that must be laid in order to journey toward healing. When we forgive someone, instant healing doesn’t come (especially when the hurt causes deep emotional wounds).

I am sure we have all dealt with situations in life that we needed forgiveness for ourselves or for others. The same holds true with unforgiveness, we may hold toward others or they may hold toward us. Not an easy situation most times but we are faced with it in life. At times, we have to even forgive ourselves and that is even hard. Sometimes we have to forgive by faith.

Do we forgive? Can we forget?

Do we not forgive? Do we not forget?

Do we forget? Do we not forgive?

Forgiveness may not happen overnight, as there will probably be a lot of emotional baggage and let’s not forget anger.

This past week, I have had to re-examine this situation in our family. There has been a lot of water under the bridge over the years. As requested, let’s let bygones be bygones. I’m good with that and we continue to go our separate ways.

I’m good and I do wish them well.