Healing

Breakthrough

ponderingmissylouLeave a comment

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Through the years I have noticed that when times or situations get hard and I want to give up, that’s when I need to push harder, as a breakthrough is coming.

Perhaps this is just for me today or you.  I know the last few weeks have been rough but I know to PUSH through the feelings, thoughts and emotions.

The enemy (Satan) wants nothing more than to heep on discouragement, hopelessness, bring discord, etc.  This enables to keep us stuck and remain in the pit of despair.

I know in times past, if I felt a wedge between a friend or acquaintance, I pretty well knew this was happening.  Just yesterday, I stopped a person and flat-out asked if there was something wrong because the last few weeks, the association was not the same.   Stopped this in its tracks. All is well.

Many, many years ago I had the same happen with a lady a church whom I thought was nice and our friendship was growing but that nagging feeling and lies within we’re bother me.   Even back then, I knew to ‘nip it in the bud’ as ole Barney Fife would say.   From that day afterward, our friendship has grown and I would say that she is my true BFF in life.  We may be miles apart but there have been times that she has texted me and say, ‘What’s up Buttercup, I feel something is wrong.’  When one is down, the other lifts the other up.  I would have missed out on this wonderful, sister-like friendship if I would have let the lies deteriorate this relationship.

97392048-5BAA-4FCE-A91B-98EF954E3612Noticing tension with my Counselor and I at times, this has been a true and obvious sign that a breakthrough is coming.  When I feel I have had enough, cannot take anymore, want to quit, I have dig my heels in and I do continue.  I know a breakthrough is near.  Odds are, she does also.

Even with walking/exercise and lack of weight loss, the scale is not moving, discouragement comes and the lies come, just give up.  Don’t you dare!   As the quote goes, unless you faint, throw up or die, keep moving forward.  A breakthrough will happen.  11FF8DB3-BAB0-4734-8622-3E4A10823669

So when you feel like    giving up on yourself, with another, a situation, weight loss, etc., keep moving forward.  You’ll be glad you did.  Victory!

Trust Him!

 

I’m Fine, Right?

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62E5C4A9-D1C7-4AAD-A78B-C704D55FCB4C.jpegSo often we reply with the words, “I’m Fine” when in all honesty, we are far from that fact.  Still, it rolls off the tongue and for the most part and people around us don’t think anything about it and/or if it is true.  Just accepted.

As much as I try not to use this phrase, I found myself using it last week and regretting the words once I let them slip.  I knew the words were not true but came easy.  Thankfully, I have a counselor that picked up on that right away.  Knowing me too well, she called me out on it.

Realizing what I said and this discussion that came afterward, I remembered back many years ago to a time I said it moreso and was told that this phrase, ‘I’m Fine’ EB6DA888-705F-4D9D-B416-87BCBBBC6B4Dmeans another thing for others.  Which is ‘F’d up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional’ and from that day, I limited and was cautious of using.  But I did it anyway.

Looking back, I think I was each one of those words that week and by the time meeting with my counselor, open and honest, as my true self came through.  It was a bad week and actually a peek of several weeks of being overwhelmed.  So, it appropriately fit when I said it.

Life can be too much at times.  Perhaps when you hear others say those words, pay attention, take time to listen and show you care.

I know in times past and still, I would love for somebody to just grab me and hug me.  Let me cry.  Tell me I am okay.  Sometimes we just need that.

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Rejected

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Today I realized I still deal with rejection in my older years.   From childhood, this remains while I understand it happened through my counseling sessions. Never to this degree that I knew it had ahold on me, still.

While the rejection was not really directed at me, I assumed the feeling and just about lost it.

Working on a tax issue at work, I was given the information and amounts involved.  I went to the Clerk’s office to make payment of such.  Usually, this trip is speedily but today, the clerk made it her main job to check off and inform me that the numbers were not right, the amounts were wrong, the total payment was incorrect.  All I could hear was Reject Reject Reject.BA542300-47FD-4FE7-8832-601F86B42750

Thinking to myself and getting irritated, I did not just pick this information  out of thin air but given it like all other tax bills payable from my office.

The slow motion and precise job that she was portraying was grating on my last nerve.  I could feel my emotions changing, the fear of rejection rise within me, embarrassment if I made the costly mistake and failure within was booming in my head. The root of rejection was taking hold, in full force.

When she finally would not accept the payment because it was wrong, handing me the check and paperwork, I said I just want to get out of here.  A task that normally would take a few minutes turned into a half hour.

What she did not know and I realized once I left and calmed down to think through, my amount is correct.  Tomorrow, I will once again go and deliver the tax check.

With all that, we do not know what another is going through or experiencing in life. Have grace.  Not just with another but also yourself.

We all need Grace.

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