We are instructed and reminded either by sermons heard or in a crisis and people reminding us to trust the Lord 
with all our heart. Many times this is written in the Bible of Trust Me. The hope knowing He is there for us and always will be with us, brings peace. Bottom line, we are to trust Him. No if, ands, or buts about it. Trust Him!
In the past, I have trusted Him, I had to. In situations in my life, marriage that was dying, several family members desiring me to suffer and to die, health issues and just barely crawling or even breathing, I knew to hold onto Him.
Of course, many don’t trust Him, which is evident all around us. To be honest, I had my doubts at time. In periods of desperation and loneliness, screaming out audibly at times and most times were under my breathe in anger. Where are You, Lord? Why am I in this situation and You allowed it? Why? WHY? Even to the point of saying, I am angry with You!
Just with that last statement, I am sure some eyes will widen in shock and gasps of the ‘oh my’ with judgement and shameful that I don’t love the Lord. It felt wrong to do that but it was the truth. Well, guess what? He knows I was angry anyway about my situations and even with Him. He knows me, He knows my coming and my going, He knows the number of hairs on my head so it was no surprise to Him that I was and confessed that I was angry with Him. Believe it or not, I felt a deeper connection with Him after that outburst.
Several that knew what I was facing in my marriage said to leave, even a counselor. No, I can’t. I would suffer and hold on for my boys, it was best financially and even though I felt stuck and had no hope or joy, I always felt that it was not in God’s Timing to leave. I will know when it is time. Perhaps a codependency on my part, but I know to wait upon the Lord.
In regard to my family members, let them talk, tell lies and whatever they do, as I was to remain in peace and forgive. Did it hurt? It just about put me under in all areas of my life, and that was their goal. It does not mean I am to be buddy-buddy with them but at a distance I still care and know they are family, even though they disowned me. I am to pray for them. Yikes! The praying part was a hard one but I can now and do. God knows their heart, as He knows mine and yours, too. There are some that no matter what you do, it would never be enough. The Lord will fight my battles, I need to do nothing. I am not to convince anyone of those that heard the lies and comments that I am a good person.
My health has taken hits over and over again, knowing my situation and what I have dealt with did not help, but I knew the Lord would take care of me and He has. I am not in denial, but I do know to stay put and I know when to move. Moving day is coming.
So I am to trust God. A couple of months ago or longer, I felt down inside that He was questioning me. The question was, Do you trust me? I heard that over and over and from experience in years past, I know He speaks to me usually repeating three times. Do you trust me? Do you trust me? Do you trust me? Well, I guess I need to trust, don’t I?
I knew what I was to do and to trust Him in this area and I did but questioning for weeks if that was really Him or just me. Again, no surprise to Him that I think I know better than 
Him, doubting and delaying. Lord, was that really you? I kept hearing and to remind me, ‘Do you trust Me?’ Still, I hear those words in that question. Have I had any great miracles happen? No, but I know to be patient and wait upon the Lord. Do I trust Him? Yes! I know something is about to happen, the anticipation within, but I have no clue of when, where or what so I wait. I know how to wait and be patient, most of the time. His Timing. Always on time!
Perhaps you or someone you know is in a place of wandering around hopeless, unsure what to do, feeling alone, just existing and going from day to day, in a bad situation, etc., Trust Him. Easier said than done, I understand but for complete peace, joy and happiness that is what it comes down to. Ask yourself today as you go about your life and in the days ahead, Do You Trust Him?
God asks the question: Do you trust me?
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears open to their cry. Psalm 45:15
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
https://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/do-you-trust-me-david-dewitt-sermon-on-faith-general-42175
http://www.tellthelordthankyou.com/blog/2016/5/16/psalm-1185-6-god-says-trust-me
Tonight, in between laundry and cleaning around the house, I noticed the movie, The Help, was on so it played in the background. I have seen this numerous times, I also have the CD and have played the song I mention over and over. I tend to do that until I get through a period that I am dealing with and to grasp the meaning, feel the pain and heal little by little.
I finally stopped to finish watching the end of the movie, which brought me back to sitting in the movie theater watching this movie with my sister. Usually, the audience leaves when the words ‘The End’ show on the screen and go on their merry way, as we were doing so, too.
In case you are reading my blog and read through the lyrics and the words hit your heart and feel the pain as it did with me of many years, just know there is HOPE. In my time of feeling totally alone and emotionally distraught, I knew deep down that the Lord knew my name and He knew where I was. I had to hold onto those words and say often. I am living proof that I made it through. You can, too! Trust Him.
phase in their life was happening. Okay, I’ve got this. Even in these years, I wonder if they remember and have good memories of their mom. I was there for them, I always will be but less so they could grow into adulthood, loosening the apron strings
pushed my way through for them. Do they remember? Or do they remember and did they feel the underlying anger I had toward their dad? The dark days of depression added and being buried with much grief of not just my parent’s deaths, but the death of my marriage, a marriage I always desired but will never have, and most importantly time with my boys and us all as a family unit. Grief in all ways was surrounding me. Those were rough days… years. I hope they don’t remember. I would like to forget it myself.
men now and doing well. Will they need counseling one day to help in areas from childhood? I do not know but if they do, I will support them to do so. I want only the best for them. Perhaps with my own work in these areas, this will stop the pattern in generations to come.
Just Pondering... 