So many of us are apt to grab our cell phones to video or snap a pic to capture our kids performing, or a selfie of all while they are with is at a dinner or a family gathering, when we see something pretty, etc. While that is all perfect and fine to keep the memories alive but to be present in the moment is worth more and touches your own heart.
The other night I was so reminded of this fact. I did the exact thing mentioned as my husband and I drove through the Christmas lights that is a popular park to go through during the holiday season in our area. It was absolutely beautiful and some areas more than the others. Impressive.
Something I had wanted to do for years but nobody else did, so we or I didn’t.
As we drove and admired the synchronized lights flash to the tune of the radio station programmed, I was in awe. The little girl within me came alive, too, with joy. What a night it was to take time to drive the distance and go through the maze of lights.
Hanging out the windows somewhat as other children 
were, and adults also, I noticed the feelings within of the little girl that I lost long ago. Being old now, part of me could have just broke down and cried a river because I have had such a hard time connecting to my inner child, but I did while doing this simple act of slowing down and taking time. We all have an inner child.
Connecting to that inner child, we not only experience the joy and fun, but also have fun and sense it within. I felt the child raise up inside me, if just for a little bit. This was a breakthrough for me. In the inner child, we can also find answers to past trauma that has been buried deep within and with proper care and attention, healing will come. That night though, I need joy.
As I was taking pics with my cell phone in order to keep and perhaps share on Facebook, of course, certain times my light would come on, flash, and possibly distort the pic or annoy the car in front of us, no doubt. For the life of me, I did not know how to turn that flash off.
Just thirty minutes before, while waiting to start the light show, I skimmed my posts on Facebook. You know, just in case I needed to know what another person is doing, etc. This one therapy, encouragement post though was about being in the moment and how we must … Enjoy it! I needed that and so glad I grabbed onto those words when I did.
Of course, after many attempts of finding the right icon to flip the light flash off, without success, I missed some of the lights while seeing them kinda sorta but not really enjoying them. The post I just read at the beginning popped in my head, which said, ‘enjoy the moment, take it in.’
With that, I put my phone away and did just that while even saying aloud, ‘be in the moment.’ I did! I noticed the joy and excitement grow within me as an old lady admiring the beauty of it all and appreciating the talent that went in to make this production happen. Most rewarding was when my inner child that could sense the excitement of Christmas and joy she once felt as a child, which made it all worthwhile.
As adults, we need to learn to stop and play along the way. Work is important and family, too, but we lose ourselves many times. Sadly, sometimes many of us drown out trauma and abuse with many things to avoid the deep recesses in our lives. I am no exception, I forgot how to play and enjoy life around me and I avoided areas through the years.
Go do something fun. If just jumping in mud puddles, blowing bubbles, making snow angels, take time to drive around to see or through Christmas lights, etc., as the child within needs to do just that. Have fun!
Lesson learned that night, as I plan to not make excuses of not doing fun things and to put the cell phone away and be in the moment.
Do it! Feel it! Enjoy it!
🎄 Merry Christmas 🎄
Knowing this is a childhood issue that seems to be on the verge of healing within me but still it just stops in a panic, as tears always begin rolling down my face. I cannot get past this point.
I do believe the Lord places people in our lives at the right time to get us through a path we are walking. As for the counselor, I was not ready for that to end. I felt abandoned. Still dealing with that but to rewire my mind and know it was necessary of this leave for her, I know she still cares and probably wonders how I am doing. I hope so, ant not forgotten.
Understanding and seeing this pattern also, I have people that mean a lot to me, as I am well liked and I am very personable. So I know it is possible.
What was it that caused disconnection between my mom and I? I may never know. While I know she was my mother, I was her daughter, I am in the family, there was something missing between us.
Just Pondering... 