Lost and Found

2E35C2E4-F24B-457E-8FEF-68DC4587F2E4I am now in the final stage of my life with many years remaining and hopefully the best of them yet as my hope and joy are returning to me.  There is a spring in my step of this older, adult woman who is finally understanding herself and more importantly, accepting herself.   It feels good to feel worthy if to nobody else but to God.Lost and found vector motivational romantic philosophical quote

While the last five years have been tedious with counseling and digging in the dirt to see clearly, it has been worth every penny, the time involved, heartache felt and many tears.   I did this for me.  I made a choice that I want more in life before I die.  To know that only death was before me and hopelessness, only brought more hopelessness plus doom and gloom. Not a good place to be or to stay.

People get stuck and see no way out.  Like a cat in a paper bag.  Yearning for more but overwhelmed by all the negative that they have encountered and believing it all to be fact.  Nowhere to go, distrustful of others due to past relationships of hurts and basically alone.

As a Christian, feelings of despair in this lost state brings condemnation so that, too, must be dealt with and fought against.  People around us are lost as a non-Christian but many are lost in just hopelessness felt.  Not because of unbelief, as they just might have more faith than you may think in order to hold on, it is just no zeal to push through.  93F29398-D3FD-4E27-ACA3-581107A2823C

There were years that I walked through that mess.  While being unsure who I could really confide in or one that would believe the chaos that seemed to swallow me up.  The craziness that it brings because on the outside it all appeared normal.  I walked in a fog at times and for a bit, I was numb being so hurt and not knowing what to do.

I was lost for many years of basically feeling like a caged bird being F20671BD-9FD0-4B1A-A87E-62FDECEEAFD1unsure and afraid.  Plus, forgetting myself as my confidence, what little there was, removed itself from my life.  A zombie at times going through the motions of life, wearing a mask. People and circumstances can strip you of your whole being, of which happened year after year.

Today, I am not the same person I was five years ago.  Thank God.  Walking into my former counselors office the first day, sitting on her loveseat and being asked why I was there was the beginning of the me I am today.  I felt I was going crazy, which was my response to her and I 35B47D33-8A10-40F5-9B33-DCA08DA6C2EEbelieved it because of the imprisonment of my life.  Help me!

When we make a choice and decide to move forward, our faith ignites and the Lord will see us through the pain and struggles.  Trusting Him with it all and our lives, He will open doors and will bring the joy back into our lives that we have forgotten.  The excitement of living comes alive and in color like never 18132AAB-9AA3-4569-907C-C342433BAA19
before.  I forgot and lost myself in the past and for years but today I feel I have found myself once again and finding each day better than the last.  So the best years are ahead of me and I am going forward.

How about you?  If you are going through something that seems overwhelming and the hopelessness seems to be clinging to you, allow the Lord to help you.  Trust Him.

While I was a Christian, and have been since my early twenties, it came to a point of desperation and saying, Lord it is me and You.

He knows, He cares, He loves you. ❤️

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There Must Be More

My prayer for years and becoming more consistent. Lord, there must be more.

D5817F1C-679D-44D8-90B1-05E8B78AE004As we cry out to Him, He hears us. It may not feel that way, but that is when we draw up every inch of faith within us. The pleading of our soul screaming out possibly inaudible to those around us, the thoughts in our mind as we go through our day, the tears that leak out from the corner of our eyes which sometimes become like a waterfall. No matter how, He knows all about us. He knows what we are struggling and no matter how big or small. He sees and feels our hopelessness.

To break it down even more, He knows ALL.447C01BC-3D44-43C7-9FE7-C0C3E86BDBF2

He is just waiting for us to give up trying to control the circumstances and allow Him to take control. Sounds easy enough. Right? Still we want to help. Our wheels spin and He patiently waits. No doubt how the song, Jesus Take The Wheel came into existence. The writer finally got it and blessed us with the lyrics that many relate with and enjoy.

While He is patient with me, I know I am not in many areas although I am in other areas. I have had to be, plus I am still here. Years upon years, and still I have dealt with some situations in my life that seems like there was no end in sight. Except death. Sadly, there were times years ago, I welcomed that. Total hopelessness.

Not now, as I have hope because I have worked too hard to get to this point in my life.  Whether my situation changes or 35450FAD-E178-4E61-A84C-DCF94CFBCDEBnot, my faith in the Lord and worship will continue and actually increase.

Even though the words, Lord, there must be more, come out of my mouth or cross in my mind, I feel there really is more.  Long time coming and I wait.

2A1B2D71-19CE-4C04-A688-3E1479939DCESo where are you?  What are you going through?  Do you feel stuck in a rut?  Hopeless?

There is only One that knows you like no other.  The Lord is there for you, as He has been for me at my darkest hours and in total hopelessness.  Trust Him.  If you take one step, He will take two.  If you need to see a counselor, go!  They can help sort out thoughts and help you regain lost years through the sadness, which was a lifeline for me.  Just take care of you.  There is more to life than a pit of despair. I don’t want to be in that pit for the rest of my life.  I had to make a choice.  You have a choice.  Let’s Live!

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Did I Hear You Right?

D2300766-D046-4D4D-9397-E890752A4E3AThis morning as I was walking with my walking buddy, we discussed how when we did not have two nickels to rub together, as they say, when young and starting out on our own, that someone helped us.  Today, we have not forgotten the person or their kindness, not to mention the expense.  Paying forward now is what we do and hopefully the trend continues.

It was nice to think of that this morning and remember the rough periods but also that my Christian walk and my prayer life developed in those times.

I was in my early twenties and living at home with my FADC724E-F7D5-49B9-91F7-D3380F3717C8parents still, which was fine then.  Our telephone rang, I answered and it was a lady we know stating her rental house was available.  Great, I’ll tell my bother and sister-in-law was my thought.  As I walked up to the finished attic that served as my living room and bedroom, I kept hearing, ‘It’s for you.’  Each time, it was if I could turn around and see somebody standing and saying ‘It’s for you.’  A little spooky.  Those words would not leave.

1777A712-8114-4C68-A8EC-8558DC3B8D68Okay, fine! I called the lady back and inquired about the small, shotgun-type house and, of course, her husband had the time to show it to me right then. So, I went to look at it.  I picked it apart in my mind of what it needed, did not have and built my case to show the Lord it was not for me. No doubt, He knew I would try to prove Him wrong.

The biggest things were that there were no appliances (stove, refrigerator, washer/dryer).  Nope, not for me.  The old, ugly disgusting carpet was beyond my comprehension of dealing with. Nope, nasty.

It was that same week, my brother and sister-in-law moved to a new place, not this house.  I come home and the garage door was open and my mother, a clean freak, was cleaning a stove and refrigerator to store away until needed. Of course, my mouth dropped and as told her what had just happened.  It’s for me.

Everything lined up that I needed to start housekeeping.991C4B29-1B9C-460C-AF91-8E0B99285539

As for the carpet, my aging neighbor had new carpet put in that week, too, and had the old brought down to our garage for me.  Not knowing what was happening but because years before, I told her I like it.  The garage filled up with everything I needed with no effort, but cleaning and moving.

This little house was mine to rent for a small amount and the owners paid for paint, new locks, etc., and another room of carpet because they knew it was for me and I would take care of it.  It’s for me!  I loved that little house and lived there seven years.  I grew up spiritually in that house and learned to trust the Lord and my faith flourished.

Listen for His Voice.  Trust the Lord and He will do exceedingly, abundantly all things. Remember what He has done for you.  What an Awesome God we have.

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