Knock, Knock

998E1F4C-1650-4780-A4C0-D4A9A20C7193Do you ever daydream about, perhaps winning the lottery and what you would do with the millions of dollars?  Sometimes, I do and no doubt you do, too. It is just fun.

My other daydream I have is that one day somebody will come and knock on my door, offering to buy my house and property.   Of course, the dollar amount would need to be just right.  Would I?  Yes!  Enough money and I’ll be out next week.0AE6E12E-4E5F-4593-A5F2-61A88272D4AC

Crazy enough, I know of a family that had this happen. Actually, if there was a house I loved and knew I could afford, etc., I would knock on their door and offer my price for the family to sell and leave.  Perhaps if I won the lottery, if only I played and won, I could do that.  Again, just fun. Daydreaming at its finest.

7168C60E-AA8F-4FEA-B353-54549ED27767Yesterday, being April Fool’s Day, I sent pictures of a small, cute house, and several rooms inside, all coordinated that fits the character of the outside and of my personality to my sister with, ‘Look what I did!’  With Google, you can do anything.  The dreaming came alive even more.

I love my house but being an empty nester, I don’t want or need all this space.  The yard is bigger than I want and even for my husband nowadays as age is creeping up on both of us.

So to dream, the escape of what is or of what could be is my happy place. 😎

 

 

Do Not Cry!

A6F81475-ECE3-4F9F-AE52-53929BA045B9Is every family dysfunctional?  I just do not understand sometimes.  A lady I work with said once to me and we laughed as it hit home, too, but said, ‘If you look up the word dysfunction in the dictionary, a picture of my family is there.’

Each of us are unique and each family. We all have hang ups and quirks.  Life.

I have been recognizing and understanding my own life and family dynamics moreso the last several years while in counseling, has been eye opening.

Just over a month ago now, my older sister and I were on our way to see a movie, just to have some fun hanging out.  On the way, something happened that would change things in my life.  Disappointment and sadness gripped my soul.

77DA73C3-6C9A-4601-B3DD-C663390E84A7I normally contain my emotions with her, as that is one of the shameful things within our family. We must be able to be strong and controlled.  No crying or sign of weakness.  I could not.  I could not continue the outing so I took her back home so I could just fall apart of which I did.

Still to this day, no contact from her calling to check on me.  I find that interesting and even hurtful but then again understanding that concept of being strong and controlled, which she maintains and that I must, too.  Just the get over it mentality.  I cannot do that.  Plus, I don’t want that.  There is a time and place to be strong and controlled  in our emotions, such as work, but she could clearly see I was at a real breaking point emotionally in my life.

That situation, which was major to me, but nothing to her.  No empathy.   What devastated me so much, that situation was to disappear and no longer affect me.  It goes under the rug, never to be remembered or spoken.  That’s been my life.  To marry a man with the same concept of emotions, too.  I have hid my tears way too long.  Interesting, after writing this, I ran into her at the grocery store today.  Strangers as sisters.

I am not the same person I was walking into my counselor’s door many years ago and drawing closer to the Lord in my relationship with Him.  Thank God.

It’s okay to have emotions and to not feel shameful for having them.  It is okay to cry, sometimes cry like a baby.    What is not okay is to dismiss the emotions whether in yourself or others.

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Just a few Bible verses on crying.  Most importantly, even Jesus wept:

“A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance”  (Ecclesiastes 3:4). 

“For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5).  

“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry” (Psalm 34:15).

“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled … Jesus wept” (John 11:33, 35).

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

“Put my tears in Your bottle” (Psalm 56:8).