The past two weeks of my life seemed to be the longest days of the year…okay, my life.
Being at my age and trying to complete my clinicals in a medical profession just about made me want to go home, throw the cover over my head and stay there.
I had put this off for a year for one reason or another. I took the class last Fall and did well but surmised it was to keep my mind busy due to a loss in my life and to keep focused. I was okay with that. While I tried to decline from doing the clinicals this time around, the instructor was very convincing to finish and it was apparent in other ways, that I should also. I did.
Fear is still prevalent at the age of sixty and being thrown in with a pack of wolves and I was like bait. If only I could have been an undercover boss through this process, I would have shaken the cage and lose some of the attitudes and rudeness presented. This was not how you represent a large medical hospital in the area you work for, that is for sure.
This was definitely an experience of a lifetime and not a good one. Each week, I found that every Wednesday night, I wanted to quit and not go in on Thursday mornings, as it was a struggle.
I knew that I would not let them have the upper hand with this old woman. I had something that they may never grasp, but I pray that they do. I have dealt with demons before, within my own family, so this was not going to deter me. I had a focus and that was to finish.
Weeks before when contemplating this endeavor, I had a dream of my Pastor coming to me in a congregation of people. He took my hands and said, “You know He is with you.” Just that, gave me peace and something to hold onto through this ordeal. It was when I awoke and reading my Bible, that I just so happen to open up, Isaiah 41:10, which was when I knew I was to go forward. ( See ‘Terrified with Faith‘) Did I want to? No. I repeated those words often, read that scripture before I entered the door each morning and prayed.
While I enjoyed dealing with the public and helping them, when asked to be a part in my training, my personality sparked in smiling and being kind as I know is key and I do well. While these employees have the technique down pat, their personalities were nowhere to be found. To get a smile or much less see one shown to the patient when greeting them was like a miracle. Get them in and get them out so they could check their cell phones or make meaningless conversation with one another while throwing f-bombs around. I was shocked with these girls, actually saddened.
In this, my life has been changed. It actually opened my eyes whether with them and in myself. I enjoyed the process of learning this trade but I learned to hate it due to them. I do not know what lies ahead for me in this area and perhaps nothing, I have to and will trust the Lord.
I found it interesting that in phlebotomy, you ‘feel for the veins, not by sight.’ In our Christian walk, we are to ‘live by faith, not by sight.’
This part of my training is complete and I am thankful, more than you know. One hurdle to cross yet in testing for certification but after the past two weeks, I can do anything.
Just Pondering... 