I have noticed this week and now that it is the weekend, I had a sink of dirty dishes and even a pile of clothes on the end of my bed. I told myself each time that I would hang the clothing item up when I got home from work, which did not happen.
A week of feeling and fighting depression, perhaps a spiritual attack and probably so, but noticing my house taking a hit and dirty dishes in my sink. I never do that and it is a telltale sign, I am fighting within. Exhausted. Looking at the dishes this morning and tackling them, I wondered if my husband even noticed and wondering what is wrong with me. I knew that was a far-fetched thought. Although it made me giggle, just considering the thought.
Today, the dishes are done and I am managing my messes, as I am getting through the mental chaos but it has been a struggle. Ever been there?
We all deal with bouts of discouragement now and then and disappointment that can make your knees buckle from sadness, leading to depression. It is a lost and a lonely feeling with darkness looming over our heads. It happens. Life happens. Give yourself grace and take care of you through it all with proper care and rest.
If you have dirty dishes, piles of clothes, laundry, etc., just start somewhere. Organize your bedroom, a bathroom closet, etc. If you do not or have not used something in a year, get rid of it (give away, donate or pitch). Something! Just start. It will help you feel somewhat productive even if overwhelmed.
I often use this phrase and have it on my bulletin board at work, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
Know that depression can hit each of us. Stop and recognize what is or has happened. Do not stuff your feelings down and ignore. Take time to name the thoughts and feelings, forgive others and even yourself, as needed. Journal through the mental chaos, if just a sentence. Make plans to search out a counselor. With that and when you do and go, please give him or her a chance, as one or two visits won’t do it. They, too, are getting familiar and comfortable with you as you are them. Of course, after a month or so, if it is not a good fit, there are others, don’t stop. Perhaps go see your family doctor and know there is nothing wrong with taking an anti-depressant. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. The stigma of mental health needs to stop and be recognized — moreso today, than ever.
Sadly, with all that I wrote and recommended, many in my church family would be appalled, stating I did not have enough faith. Sad! I do have faith, enough to know when I need help and that the Lord will lead and direct me to the right counselor(s), which He did. I have come a long way and still a long way to go. It has not always been easy but I am allowing Him to heal the broken places in my heart and life with a counselor’s help. I’m a better person and a Christian with faith renewed because of my decision to get help years ago.
Make a change today and do something productive. Sometimes that is just getting up and taking a shower. I’ve been there. You are not alone. Thankfully, your heart knows how to beat on it’s own, as your lungs allow you to breathe when no energy to do just that. You’ve got this!
I know even through my week of feeling down and depressed with dirty dishes, the Lord still loves me. He loves you. Trust Him.